He remembered a conversation with Lilla, years ago, when she’d tried to thank him for some service he’d provided for her by suggesting he sleep with one of the women. Of course he’d refused. He remembered railing about how he wouldn’t make one woman miserable to take his pleasure on her and various other noble sentiments. And Lilla had gotten angry. She’d said that there might be a reason women would choose a profession pleasuring men besides desperation. “Have you never considered a woman might not enjoy it?” she’d spat at him.
He couldn’t believe that any did, and he’d told her so.
“Perhaps some women aren’t built for one man,” Lilla had said to him. “Perhaps some women enjoy a variety. Perhaps some women choose not to be tied down, to treat the world as an adventure and to sample every cock in it.” She’d been angry.
The truth was that Keirth had spent his life viewing sex as a disgusting thing that men forced women to endure. But maybe he was being narrow minded to think that sex was really so horrible. After all, as Lilla had pointed out, it was a necessary part of reproduction. And so many people did it, seemingly enjoying it, so...
He gulped, thinking of the soft springy give of Ariana’s breast when he’d touched it. He liked the way she felt. If she really did desire it, perhaps he wouldn’t be hurting her if he bedded her.
But that would complicate things, wouldn’t it? What would he do with Ariana afterwards? Surely, she wouldn’t want to jaunt about the galaxy, running from the authorities for the rest of her days, would she? And would he want her around him forever? The girl annoyed him beyond belief occasionally. There was also the matter of her being a duke’s daughter. Her family would never stop looking for her.
Of course, Risciter had told his comm that Ariana was dead. Perhaps they wouldn’t be looking for her anymore.
Keirth shook himself. What was he thinking? He’d been right at first. He’d been right all along. Ariana had been traumatized. She was clinging to him because he was the only thing that hadn’t hurt her. She’d get over her infatuation with him soon enough. He oughtn’t plan their life out just because he’d been tempted by her body.
* * *
Now that it was quiet, and Ariana was alone in the dark again, she couldn’t handle it. She couldn’t sleep, but she couldn’t move either. There was a sort of oppressive feeling of fear keeping her glued to her bed, lying on her back. But lying like this made her think of lying on the bed in the cottage, Risciter sneering at her as they waited for Keirth to wake up. She thought that part had been the worst. The dread, knowing that it was going to happen, knowing there was nothing she could do about it.
Disturbingly, more and more of it kept coming back to her. Right afterwards, it had all been a blur, nothing but bright lights and the sound of Risciter’s laughter. But now, she was remembering more and more of it. And as she lay in the bed alone here in this strange space station, she couldn’t think of anything else. She kept replaying it over and over in her head. Risciter taunting her. Risciter touching her. Risciter over her.
And she couldn’t move. She was trapped here, stuck with the memory of it. This was why she’d wanted to lie with Keirth. She had no choice with Risciter. He’d tied her down. He’d laughed when she’d struggled. To Risciter, she hadn’t been anything more than a thing to use. If she could have convinced Keirth to have sex with her, it would have meant she’d controlled it. It would have been an act that balanced, that erased what had happened to her. She thought.
But now, with the events of the previous night—or maybe it was two nights ago, she didn’t know—drilling themselves through her brain, replaying themselves in full color and sound like a vid, she was trapped by them again. And she didn’t think anything would erase them. Not even Keirth, who didn’t want to anyway.
Though she’d embarrassed herself with him before, if she could have moved, she would have. She would have gotten out of her bed and gone searching for his room. She didn’t want to be alone like this.
She tried to move. She nudged one of her legs out over the side of the bed. A jolt of terror shot through her. It was easier to lie here, not moving. And maybe she’d go to sleep soon, if she tried. But that was how Risciter had gotten her. In her sleep. She’d gone to sleep alone and woken up tied to a bed with Risciter’s hands on her body. Maybe she never wanted to sleep again. Or maybe she didn’t want to sleep alone. If she’d been with Keirth, would it have happened?
* * *
Winda woke up when Gordic crawled into bed with her. She rolled over to snuggle up to him. He wrapped her in his arms.