Release(64)

Gordic’s face transformed into a relaxed smile at the mention of Winda. “You should have seen her, mate. She had the sharpest tongue of any woman I’d ever met. She simply wouldn’t be charmed by me. And, as you know, I’ve charmed quite a few women in my time.”

“So that was what made her special? The fact that she didn’t want you?”

Gordic chuckled. “Trust Transman to cut to the heart of the matter.” He leaned back in his easy chair, puffing on his cigar. “Maybe you’re right. I didn’t go to that bar looking for a wife, that’s for sure. But once I saw her... I don’t know. I couldn’t get her out of my head, mate. The more she refused me, the more determined I became to get her.”

Keirth wasn’t sure he understood. “But you’ve changed, Gordic. Your whole life is different. And wanting this woman made you do that?”

“Transman the Monk wouldn’t get it, of course,” said Gordic. “You’ve never looked at a women twice the whole time I’ve known you. Sometimes I wondered if that act you put on for the police that time didn’t have a kernel of truth.”

Alarmed, Keirth shifted in his chair. “Absolutely not.”

Gordic shrugged. “It’s really okay, Transman. You’ve never made me feel uncomfortable. If your taste runs that way—”

“I’m not attracted to men,” Keirth cut him off.

“Sorry,” said Gordic.

Keirth shook his head. “No, it’s fine.” He puffed on his own cigar. “But you chased women all over the galaxy. And none of them convinced you to stop smuggling guns until Winda.”

“Right,” said Gordic. He was quiet for a minute. “I don’t really know why that is, mate. Maybe it was her. Maybe I was just waiting for the right woman. Or maybe I’d gotten sick of it, you know? Chased all the time, dumping cargo, being on the run from the authorities. It got old. Maybe I was looking for someone or something to change it. I don’t know. But I wouldn’t go back to smuggling, that’s for sure.” He cocked his head to the side. “Why are you asking me this, mate? This have something to do with the girl you brought along?”

Did it? Keirth had to admit that if he wasn’t chasing Risciter across the galaxy, being transitory lost some of its appeal. And if he weren’t planning on dying, there was less of a reason not to get involved with a woman. He remembered Ariana in his bed the night before... “She’s been through a lot. She’s not ready for anything like that.”

Gordic raised his eyebrows. “I don’t believe it. Transman the Monk has a crush on a girl.”

Keirth shot him a dirty look. “Please, Gordic.”

But then Gordic got serious. “What do you mean, she’s been through a lot?”

Keirth studied his knuckles. “My revenge plan didn’t exactly work with Risciter. It wasn’t like I wanted. I didn’t tie him up and torture him. It was more like I pulled him off Ariana, got his knife, and stabbed him to death.”

Gordic grimaced. “It’s a good thing you killed that bastard.”

Keirth nodded. “But to pursue her now, after what happened, it would be obscene.”

Gordic puffed at his cigar. “That’s a touchy situation all right. I guess she’s pretty distant.”

“No, that’s the thing,” said Keirth. “She’s not distant. She’s... she keeps trying to get close to me, she—But how could she possibly know what she wants after what Risciter did to her?”

Gordic didn’t answer.

Keirth got up out of his chair. “Not to mention the fact that I’m wanted for murder. I can’t promise her anything. I could be captured at any time.”

Gordic got out of his chair too. He put a hand on Keirth’s shoulder. “These things tend to work out, mate. Come on, I’ll show you your room. It’s late.”

Keirth let his friend lead him to his bedroom and got some clean bandages for his shoulder wound. He cleaned it and redressed it before he lay down. But long after he’d curled up in bed, he thought about Winda and Gordic. Could it really be like that between a man and woman? Could it just be easy and comfortable, no party taking advantage of the other?

He’d never given women much thought. What was the point? He’d always assumed he’d be living a short life during which he’d accomplish nothing but killing Risciter. Since Risciter was dead, and Keirth found himself with a strong desire to keep surviving, he realized he was going to have to give some thought to the idea of women in general.

He’d always told himself that he didn’t bed women because he was too honorable to use them and hurt them. It was true that he’d seen enough of that kind of behavior from men when he was growing up to find it cowardly and reprehensible. But if he were truly honest with himself, he found himself slightly disgusted by the act of sex in and of itself. It seemed so bestial, designed in some elemental way to force a woman into submission. He didn’t want to hurt women. He didn’t want to hurt Ariana. And the thought of taking her like that...it seemed...