So if she and Keirth were to be together, completely and totally, he’d keep her with him. She knew he would. And she needed to be near him. Needed to feel protected. So...
She pushed aside the blanket on her bed and padded out of her room to the door to Keirth’s. It wasn’t locked. She pushed it open. “Keirth?” He was probably sleeping and wouldn’t hear her. Should she wake him up?
But to her surprise, she heard his gruff voice from his bed. “What?”
“I had a nightmare,” she said. “I’m afraid. Can I...can I sleep in here with you?”
“These beds are narrow.”
Well, that wasn’t a refusal. “I know that.” She went to his bed, sat down on it next to him.
He sighed, but scooted over on the bed, making room for her. She slid into the bed next to him, the heat of his body washing over her and making her feel warm and safe immediately. She curled up next to him, pillowing her head on shoulder.
Keirth went awkwardly rigid. He tried to scoot further away, but the beds were narrow, and he had no place to go. “Was your nightmare about Risciter?”
“Yes.”
“He can’t hurt you anymore.”
“I know that. Thanks to you.”
Keirth made a dismissive noise. “I was going to kill him anyway, you know. You don’t have to be grateful.”
“You saved me,” she said. “Of course I’m grateful.” She placed the palm of her hand flat against his chest. He was firm under her touch, his body hard and lean. She ran her hand over his chest, grazing his belly with her fingertips. She took a deep breath. If she convinced him to do this, he’d stay with her. Keep her safe. So, she had to do it.
She let her hand drift lower on his body. A brief flash of Risciter over her crashed through her mind, but she shoved it away. She was doing this. She was going to get Keirth to stay with her. She inched her fingers even lower, reaching for his—
He snatched her wrist. “What are you doing?”
“Touching you,” she said. This was the way. She could do this.
“Don’t,” he said, moving her hand away from his body.
She put her hand back on his stomach. “Why not?”
Keirth disengaged his shoulder from where she was resting her head on it. He propped himself up to gaze down at her. She could see the shadows of his handsome features in the light that filtered in from the hallway. “What are you playing at?”
“What do you mean?” She put her hand back where it had been, tried again.
He pushed her away. “Keep your hands off of me. Have you lost your mind?”
He wasn’t the least bit interested. Perhaps that kiss in the ship all those—had it really only been hours ago? Perhaps it hadn’t meant anything. “I only thought that we could...comfort each other.”
Keirth shifted again, sitting up. He winced. She could see his other shoulder, bandaged from where Risciter had stabbed him. “After what happened to you? After what Risciter did? You’re confused.”
He’d said the name out loud. Involuntary shudders went through her. “No,” she said. “If you lie with me, I’ll be safe. You’ll make it go away. It will be like it didn’t happen.” She trusted Keirth. She wanted to keep him too. This was the way. She grasped one of his hands and put it on her breast. “You want me. I know you do. When you kissed me, you touched me here.”
Keirth jerked his hand away. “Stop it, Ariana.”
She pressed her lips against his. “Please,” she murmured against them.
For half a second, he kissed her back. But then he pulled away. “You don’t know what you’re asking.” He got out of the bed.
“Keirth—”
“How can you think of anything like this right now?” he said. “When I close my eyes, all I see is blood.”
She didn’t know what to say. She saw it too, for a second, saw Risciter’s body crumpled against the floor, slashed and stabbed and mangled. She grimaced, pushing the images to the back of her mind. She didn’t want to think about it. She couldn’t think about it.
Keirth’s voice was a tattered whisper. “How could possibly think that I could do anything like that to you after I saw him on you? After I...after what I did to him?”
“I don’t really remember—”
“Well, I do.” He went to the door. “Get out of my bed.”
“I’m frightened.” She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t know if she could bear being alone.
“Not like this, Ariana,” he rasped. “Not like this.”
She got out of the bed and padded past him. She managed to keep her sobs inside until she was safe in her own room, and then she soundlessly cried into her pillow until she was so exhausted, she fell asleep.