Yet, I couldn’t stop myself.
So I drove on, watching as the trees got sparser, the vacant lots got more plentiful, and the dread in my stomach got increasingly heavy.
When I reached Davey and Rita’s house, I looked in the mirror for one last check.
I saw me.
Picture-perfect.
Broken.
I quickly shut the visor and then got out, small duffel in hand.
Rita was waiting at the door when I reached it. The woman had an air of sadness around her, but I couldn’t help but notice that she looked a little bit brighter, a little bit more alive.
How ironic.
“Daniela?” she asked, eyes wide with surprise.
“I was just hoping to drop by for a visit. If you’re busy…” I said.
She shook her head. “Please, come in.” She stepped aside and ushered me in. “Offer you something, but…”
“It’s unnecessary,” I said as I kept my gaze focused on her.
The place seemed bigger without Santo in it, but everyplace did.
“I—”
She cut me off before I could begin my speech. “Let me thank you,” she said.
I looked at her, confused. “Thank me for what?”
Rita looked downright embarrassed, and I thought I saw a blush. This was as animated as I’d ever seen her.
“I got your gift. Your very generous gift.”
“I… When?” I asked.
“It was waiting for me this morning. Thank you. And him,” she said.
I didn’t doubt which him she was referring to.
“What will you do?” I asked.
She sighed, and for the first time since I’d arrived, she looked sad. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything else but this life.”
I reached for her hand, squeezed it. “This is your chance to learn, Rita,” I said.
Rita squeezed back and then looked away. I dropped her hand, waited, watched her as she thought.
She nodded, and after a moment, I moved toward the door. “Good luck to you,” I said.
“Thank you, Daniela,” Rita said.
I returned to my car, the duffel still in my hand, my mind buzzing.
After last night, I thought I understood Sergei, understood who he was, what he was about. I’d been mistaken. Last night I’d assumed he had no care for Rita or where she would end up. But he had, and I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe that action was one he’d taken out of some affection for me.
I drove back to the house in a daze, and was not at all surprised when I found him waiting for me.
For a moment, I was paralyzed by guilt, but I swallowed it down, decided to ignore it. I was simply doing what I thought was right. He wouldn’t begrudge me for that, and if he did, that was his prerogative. I wouldn’t apologize.
Still, I meandered, took far longer than usual to make my way inside.
He waited for me, leaning against one wall of the foyer.
“Daniela,” he said.
“Sergei,” I whispered, suddenly feeling ever more nervous. Even though I had known he was here, being confronted with that unreadable, implacable expression on his face was something else.
“Put down your bag. Come to the garden,” he said.
Then he turned, strolled away without looking back.
I tried to focus on my anger, wondered what it meant that he expected me so readily to obey. But obey I did.
I dropped the duffel and walked through the familiar hallways and through to the backyard.
It was bright out, sunny, but there was no sunniness in Sergei’s expression.
“How was your morning?” he said.
“I think you know,” I said, deciding I would confront this head-on.
“I want you to tell me,” he said.
“I was visiting with an associate,” I replied.
“Rita?” he asked.
I nodded.
“What could you and Rita have to talk about? I thought that matter was settled yesterday?”
“I-I didn’t know that you had…”
“Had what, Daniela?” he said, moving closer.
“I didn’t know that you had taken care of her,” I said.
“So you thought you’d do it yourself?” he asked, his expression intense but his voice flat as he watched me.
“I just… It needed to be done,” I said quietly, my eyes on his.
He said nothing and I was starting to wilt under the intensity of his gaze, but I rallied. “He left her nothing. I was just going to—”
“How much did you get?” he asked.
“Two fifty. It’s not all I would’ve given her, but it was what I could get my hands on. Did you give her more?” I asked.
“So you were just going to give her this money that you managed to pull together?” he said.
I nodded.
“How long have you been doing this sort of thing, Daniela?” he asked, his brows furrowed now.