Refuge(60)

“Hold up. Nikolas is training you?” Roland burst into laughter.

I scowled at the ceiling. “Remind me again why I call you.”

“S-sorry. I just can’t help picturing him trying to teach you how to use one of those swords. Can the Mohiri re-grow limbs?”

“Oh shut up,” I retorted, but a smile crept across my face because I was pretty sure Nikolas wasn’t foolhardy enough to put a sword in my hand.

“Well, at least it’s not boring there.” He sighed heavily, and it was my turn to ask him what was wrong.

“I hate this. It’s our senior year; we should be hanging together: you, me, and Pete. School totally sucks without you.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“No?” Roland groaned. “Do you know how hard it is to pretend to be sad over your best friend’s death when you know she is still alive and well?”

I tried to put myself in his shoes and couldn’t. “That’ll get easier soon. I bet people have already started to forget about me.”

“You still don’t get how much people noticed you, do you? People at school talk about you all the time.”

“They do?” That shocked me, considering how few friends I’d had at St. Patrick’s. Other than Roland and Peter, I could only think of one other, a boy name Jeffrey who I’d sat with at lunch every day.

“I told you it’s not the same here. Even Scott is different since you disappeared. Pete thinks he misses you.”

“Ha! Now I know you’re messing with me.”

“Seriously, he is not the same guy. He doesn’t say much anymore, and he’s even nicer to people. I heard he broke up with Faith two days ago.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. There had been animosity between me and Scott for years, and it was strange to think he might be affected by my death. It was more likely that he had changed because he no longer had the negative emotions my undine side brought out in him. Maybe not having me around was actually making him a better person. Wow. Now that was a depressing thought.

A knock at the door stopped me from delving further into that line of thinking. “Hold on, Roland, someone’s at my door.”

I didn’t try to hide my surprise when I opened the door to find Jordan, cleaned up and holding a plate of sandwiches and two bottles of water.

“I figured you were avoiding the dining hall and might be hungry,” she explained, breezing past me to lay the plate and bottles on my desk.

“I’ll call you back later, Roland,” I told him, and we said good-bye.

Jordan walked around the room, studying my photos and drawings. “Nice. Did you draw these?”

“Um, yes.”

“Is that your uncle?”

“Yes.”

“He’s hot for an old guy.” She finished her little tour and flopped down on my bed as if she’d done it a hundred times before.

I hadn’t moved from the door. “What do you want, Jordan?” In my experience, other girls did not visit me to hang out. They usually went out of their way to avoid me. I reminded myself it was only human girls who were naturally repulsed by my undine side, but after years of being shunned, it was hard to believe otherwise.

She actually looked a little hurt by my question, and I regretted my curt tone. “Sorry, that came out wrong. I’m just surprised to see you here.”

“Me too. I don’t usually like many people. Olivia is nice but she is such a girl, if you know what I mean. I didn’t care for you either when you first got here, but you’ve changed my mind.”

I closed the door and went to sit in my desk chair. “Thanks, I think.”

Jordan sat up and ran her finger along the outline of one of the birds on my grandmother’s quilt. “This is nice. Did your mom make it?”

I laughed harshly. “My mother took off when I was two, and if she had made anything I would have burned it before I brought it here with me. My grandmother made it.”

“Ouch! Someone has serious mommy issues.”

“If you came here to make fun of me, you know where the door is.”

“Geez, chill, will you? I get the whole anger thing. You aren’t the only orphan here with a sad story.” She got up and came over to grab a sandwich and a bottle of water. “Why don’t we eat and you can tell me again how there is absolutely nothing between you and Nikolas Danshov?”

“I told you, there is nothing going on between us. He’s my trainer and that is all.”

She laid her food and water on my nightstand and sat on the bed again. “Uh-huh. That’s why he threw himself over you like a living shield.”

I chuckled. “You really don’t know Nikolas. That’s what he does – he protects people, and he would have done it for anyone.”