I love you. The words hovered on my lips, but something held me back from saying them out loud. I didn’t know if it was fear of laying my heart out there or a need to savor these new feelings a little longer before I shared them.
His hand came up to stroke my hair. “Go to sleep, moy malen’kiy voin. You’ve earned it.”
“You’re always saying stuff in Russian,” I murmured. “What did you just say?”
He chuckled. “It means ‘my little warrior.’”
“I’m not that little,” I retorted then yawned, unable to keep my eyes open. “You’re my warrior, too.” I felt his arms tighten around me as sleep finally claimed me.
Chapter 25
I STOOD ON the riverbank and stared at the tumbling water without really seeing it. The weak December sun did little to dispel the bite in the air, and I pulled the collar of my warm coat up to cover my ears. It was too cold to be standing outside like this, but I couldn’t spend another minute inside with everyone talking about last night. And I couldn’t walk around the grounds without seeing the red splotches of snow and other evidence of the battle that took place here.
Was it really less than sixteen hours ago that Jordan and I dragged ourselves from the river at this very spot? I looked down at the sloping bank and saw the gouges in the frozen dirt and the places where our hands had found purchase as we’d pulled our freezing, wet bodies over the top of the bank. Directly below me on the rocky shore was where Feeorin and Fiannar had sprung from the river and saved us from a horrible fate.
In the light of day it was hard to imagine the terrible events of less than a day ago. But I would never forget them. I’d never forget Olivia and Mark and the three warriors who lost their lives here last night. No one was saying it, but everyone knew the attack was an attempt to get to me. No matter what Nikolas had said last night, my conscience felt the weight of those five lost lives.
I hadn’t seen Jordan yet today, and she wouldn’t answer when I’d knocked at her door. I’d left her alone to grieve for Olivia and Mark, knowing there was nothing I could do to ease her pain. Jordan acted tough all the time, but she had a good heart. She had not only lost two friends, she’d watched one of them die. You’d have to have a heart of stone to not be affected by that.
Movement in the water caught my eye, and I saw Feeorin’s head break the surface. The kelpie watched me with his big black eyes, and I smiled wanly at him.
“Thank you,” I called to him. A second later, he disappeared from sight.
“Who are you talking to, little one?”
I turned to smile at Desmund as he strode toward me. The warrior’s transformation was astounding. I might have helped heal him, but the battle last night had awakened something in him, a fire that had burned low a long time ago. He walked with a strong, confident swagger, and his eyes seemed to be lit from within. If a guy could be breathtaking, Desmund was in that moment.
“Would you believe me if I said I was talking to a kelpie?”
Desmund reached me and smiled down at me. It was funny that I had never realized how tall he was. Or maybe he was just holding himself taller now.
“I would believe anything you say.” He took one of my hands and rubbed it between his warmer ones. “Why are you out here alone in the cold?”
I shrugged. “I just needed some fresh air.”
“And room to breathe,” he added knowingly, and I nodded. “You have many people who care for you, Sara. You cannot fault them for worrying about you after last night.”
“I don’t. I just can’t stop thinking that all of you could have died.” I pressed my lips together to contain the emotions simmering just below the surface today.
“I’ll have none of that,” he declared sternly. Tilting my chin, he forced me to look at him. “It does no good to go back and worry over what did and did not happen. Warriors die. It is a part of life and you cannot save everyone.”
I pulled away scowling. “I think I liked you better when you were trying to throw me out of the library.”
Two weeks ago, he would have been insulted by that remark. Now he merely chuckled. “You should have thought of that before you fixed me.”
“How do you . . . ?”
“I began to improve after I met you. I was too ill at first to make the connection, but when Tristan started to remark upon my improved health I knew it had to be you. He and I talked when you were ill, and he said you had healed me but he didn’t know how.” His eyes seemed distant for a moment before they focused on me again. “I saw you with that witch last night. He was afraid of you. I have never seen a Hale witch fear anyone.”