Refuge(100)

“You said people meet their potential mates. Does that mean a person can have more than one life mate? Can a bond be broken?”

My question seemed to trouble him, and it took him a moment to answer. “Finding a mate can take a long time, but I have known several people who rejected the bond and found other mates. Your Mori may be compatible with several others, and if you choose not to pursue a relationship with one, that bond will not grow. Once a bond has formed – like the one between you and Nikolas – it can be broken, but the separation can be painful. Not physically” – he rushed to say when I sucked in a sharp breath – “but emotionally. It depends on how deep the bond is. Once a couple completes their bond, it is for life and cannot be broken.”

I swallowed hard. “How do you break it before it’s complete?”

Tristan looked even unhappier by that question than my last one. “First, you tell the other person you want to break it. Then you sever all contact with them. No communication and absolutely no physical contact. Over time, the bond will grow weaker until it eventually dissolves. Only then, can you see each other again.”

Sever all ties with Nikolas? Say good-bye to him and maybe never see him again? A heavy weight settled in my chest. After all we’d been through he was more to me than a protector and a trainer. He was more than a friend even if I didn’t know exactly what. I didn’t want to be forced into a relationship, but I couldn’t imagine him not being in my life.

“You don’t have to decide anything now. Give yourself some time to think about it,” Tristan said as if I’d spoken my thoughts aloud. “No one will try to make you do anything you don’t want to do.”

My lungs stopped squeezing like I was under water, and I took a deep breath. “How does the couple complete the bond? Is there a ceremony?”

Tristan cleared his throat. “No. When the couple is ready, they declare their love in private and join physically.”

“Physically? You mean . . . ?” He nodded, and my stomach took another tumble at the thought of Nikolas and me . . . My face heated up again because I could not believe I’d just had that thought – and in front of my grandfather. “If everyone knows about this bond stuff, they’ll know about me and Nikolas.” And after his reaction tonight they’ll think we do a lot more than train together.

“Yes. Does that upset you?”

“How am I going to face them?” I hid my face in my knees again with a groan. “How am I going to face Nikolas?”

“Nikolas understands how difficult this is for you. It has not been easy for him either.”

I raised my head at this surprising news. “I didn’t think anything bothered him.”

“Nikolas has focused on being a warrior his whole life, and he’s never had anything more than casual relationships. After almost two centuries of never meeting a potential match, I doubt he ever expected to find one.” Tristan smiled warmly. “He certainly never expected you; you turned his world upside-down, and he had no idea how to deal with it. Imagine how it was for him. He is on a routine mission when he stumbles across an orphan in a bar of all places, and suddenly his Mori is telling him that she is the one. I doubt he took it well.”

“He was a bit rude.” Rude was a mild description of Nikolas’s hostile first reaction to me, but I didn’t want to say that to Tristan.

Tristan let out a rich laugh. “You forget I have known Nikolas for a long time. I can well imagine how he behaved.” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “He only wants the best for you, Sara. You should talk to him and let him tell you himself how he feels.”

Panic flared in me at the thought of seeing Nikolas. “Now? I-I can’t . . . ”

“Not tonight and not until you are ready.”

I sagged against the couch, suddenly mentally and physically burned out. All I wanted to do was sleep. Maybe I’d wake up tomorrow and find out that this was all some crazy dream.

“I’m sorry you had to find out about everything this way. I know you must be very confused and overwhelmed.”

Confused couldn’t come close to describing how I felt in that moment. “One of you should have told me. All the time I spent with him, I never knew what was happening between us. If I had, I might have decided to stop it before it went any further, before we got any closer.”

“Are you saying you want to break the bond?”

“No . . . I don’t know,” I answered honestly. I did have feelings for Nikolas. If I walked away without exploring them, would I regret it for the rest of my life? “I need some time to process all of this before I do anything.”