Redemption(65)

I know it was illogical to think that way, but I did. My emotions were all over the place. At times, I would find myself looking at Dean and thinking how could he have done that to me? I would get angry and frustrated, and I would feel myself boil up. But all he had to do was turn, lock me with those eyes, and smile at me. Just that simple gesture washed away everything. Those were the times I felt I could let him in again. Love him the same way I knew he loved me. Trust that he wanted to be with me for the right reasons. Trust that he loved me. Trust that he loved Jeremy. Sometimes, the animal in you won out. You either bonded the moment you met, or you didn’t. With our son and Dean, it was simple. They breathed through each other. I could see it and feel it. Jeremy was bound to him now, so I knew Dean never being a part of us wasn’t an option anymore. Our son chose our path for us. Dean would always be a part of our lives.

It was Saturday and, as usual, Dean and Jimmy had arrived. Tara was only supposed to work until six, but a medical emergency came up and she needed to stay longer. Dean told me that Jimmy needn’t be in town anymore because he had found me, but I had a feeling he wanted to stay because he was secretly falling for Tara. It made me smile thinking about it. Tara needed someone good in her life and, for some reason, I knew Jimmy was it. She had been through so much in her previous relationship with her husband that she deserved to have some happiness.

So whenever Tara worked, I told Jimmy he was welcome to come over. He was quickly becoming much a part of Jeremy’s life as Dean was. He called him Big Uncle Jimmy all the time now and, for the last couple of days, Dean has become D.D. Jeremy wouldn’t elaborate any further than that and whenever I asked, he would move his finger and thumb over his mouth in a zip motion, shaking his head. “It’s a secret,” he would say. Sometimes kids were so frustrating!

It was after seven and with the boys in the pool, I decided to get some dinner on. I put on some grilled chicken, made some salad, and put four potatoes in the oven. It was another hot day, so I welcomed the cool breeze that sometimes wafted in through the kitchen doors.

“You know, I could watch you all day standing there like the domestic goddess that you are.”

Looking up, I saw Dean standing by the door, droplets of water falling from him onto the floor. He called me a goddess, but standing in front of me was every bit a god. His muscles were taut and strong, and he now had an impressive tan, which showed off his tattoos nicely. I never knew I would be turned on by a man with tattoos, but seeing Dean with them always made me tremble. Funny how a little thing like that could turn you on so much. A couple of strands of his wet hair fell down his forehead, and his skin glistened as the sun hit his body. As he gripped the door with his hand, his muscle flexed and my insides turned to mush. How could one person reduce me to a puddle of need? I had known Dean all my life and the affect on me was always the same. Whether in person or in my mind, he never failed to bring me to my knees.

“Domestic goddess, ha? Don’t get any ideas about putting an apron on me and tying it to the kitchen sink.”

Dean raised his eyebrow and came swooping in. I laughed and tried to run, but he quickly grabbed me and held me in place. I was about to protest, but the look he gave me robbed me of speech. His eyes danced from my eyes to my lips and back up again. He was making love to every inch of my face.

“I would love to tie you to the kitchen sink, but for different reasons than you’re thinking,” he growled. He gripped me tighter, taking my breath away. He looked around the kitchen, then back at me with a playful smile. “In fact, where are your aprons?”

I shook my head. “Oh, no, no, no, Deaney boy. Not here. Not now.”

Dean leaned into my neck and inhaled. “You know, my uncle Humphrey calls me Deaney boy.”

I laughed. “It seems to be a good name for you when you’re up to no good. I bet he calls you it for the same reasons I am now.”

He pulled his head back and frowned. “I never wanted to tie my uncle to the kitchen sink, and if I did, it would be for completely different reasons. With you, I just want to render you helpless. I like seeing you tied up and at my mercy. I like the fact I can do whatever the fuck I want to you. Completely helpless. Completely submissive. Completely mine.”

My legs suddenly gave way as a tortured moan left my lips. Dean gripped me tighter as a growl left his. “You don’t realize what the fuck you do to me, Tyler. Every look you give me, every touch I feel with your hands, every moan you release is like the best fucking foreplay ever. I need to be inside you now.”

Dean looked at me hungrily, but I shook my head. My body was screaming at me that it wanted this, but we couldn’t. Not now. “Jeremy and Jimmy—”