Redemption(59)

Jimmy shook the water out of his hair, flicking it in Jeremy’s direction as he giggled. “Thanks, man. It was how I used to enjoy keeping fit when I was younger.” Jimmy took his seat next to Tara. “I suppose it’s me next?” Dean nodded and Jimmy looked at Tara. “Truth or dare?”

Tara smiled. “Truth.”

Jimmy smirked. “What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done in public?”

Tara looked at me for a moment and raised her eyebrow. I laughed. “Erm, I would have to say it was when I was about ten and I really liked this boy in class named Jake. We would sometimes smile at one another and say hi, but it never went beyond that. Then, one day, I heard rumors that he was going to ask me out. I was so excited that I was bouncing around all day. Then, when it came time to go home, I quickly ran to the toilets before going to my locker. I was in such a rush, I didn’t realize that not only was my dress tucked into my pantyhose, the toilet paper was trailing behind me, as well. Jake came up to me and I was standing there, waiting, when people started laughing and pointing. When I looked to see what they were pointing at, I nearly died. I grabbed that toilet paper, yanked out my dress, and ran home crying.” She shook her head, smiling. I bet she didn’t think it was so funny then.

“That sounds awful.” I gave Tara a sympathetic smile, but Jeremy started laughing. “Jeremy, stop laughing. It’s not funny.” I gave him a look and he dipped his head with a smile.

“What happened after? Did this Jake boy never ask you out?” Dean looked at Tara and we all turned our heads to her.

“Oh, he asked me out. I didn’t think he would, but he did the very next day.” Tara nodded her head triumphantly and we laughed. “I guess he couldn’t resist a bit of toilet paper sticking out from my hiney.” Tara laughed and Jeremy started giggling again.

“Okay, Jeremy. You’re next.” I looked over the table at him and he looked off into the distance.

Suddenly, he turned to Dean. “I pick Dean. Truth or dare?”

Dean shook his head with a smile. “Well, I’m certainly not picking dare again, so I’ll go with truth.”

Jeremy’s head nodded in one swift motion. “Do you love my mommy?”

The air suddenly went thick as silence surrounded us. Everything went so quiet, all you could hear was the faint breeze rustling the leaves.

Stunned, Dean looked over at me before looking back at Jeremy. “Yes, I do love your mummy.” He looked at me. “I love your mum more than she will ever know.”





Chapter 12



Dean



Understanding and tenderness would arise among us

No matter how bad things got,

And we found redemption in the very places

We hurt the most.

Lin Jenson



The rest of the afternoon into the evening went really well. In fact, the whole day had to be one of my favorites. But, then again, any time spent with Tyler was my favorite. We sat around, ate until we were full, then talked about stuff we did when we were little. I also learned a lot of stuff about Jimmy I didn’t know, like how he was a boy scout when he was little, and that he was the lead singer in a band called The Ravens when he was seventeen. This lead to Tara begging him to sing for us. Eventually, he caved and sang a song called “Losing You”. It was one of the band’s songs and was actually pretty good—not that I’d ever fucking tell him that.

Later on in the evening, Jimmy and I played with Jeremy in the pool some more. He loved being thrown all over the place, but I was conscious not to do it too much because I didn’t want him getting sick. It was rather hard not to do anything he asked for, though. I wanted to give him as much as I could. I had missed so much of his life, so any moment now was precious. It helped that he had one of the most awesome personalities for a boy his age. I just wanted to be around him all the time because he made me feel happy. Right now, I was the proudest dad in the world, but also the saddest because he didn’t know any of this. I hadn’t been there for him. If I had, I would have seen his first steps, heard his first words, felt overjoyed the first time he called me daddy. I would give anything to not have had that taken from me. But how could I be angry at that? I didn’t have the right to be. Not after what I did.

At around eight, Jeremy passed out on the sofa. Jimmy and I must have exhausted him with all that splashing in the pool. Tyler went to pick him up, but I offered and she smiled. I think she knew I needed these moments. I needed all these times I never got to carry my son to bed. And it was the best feeling in the world. My father was right about cherishing moments. You just never knew when it might be your last.