Redemption(51)

Once upstairs, Jeremy put his finger to his lips and crept in what must have been Tyler’s bedroom. He was there a few seconds and then he came out, giggling harder than ever.

“Have you just done what I think you did?” Jeremy nodded. “Ah, grown-up, you’re going to get into a lot of trouble later.”

Jeremy laughed and ran into his bedroom and bounced on his bed. “Can you read me The Gruffalo?”

I smiled and sat down beside his bed. “Sure thing. I love that story.”

“Me, too. Mommy reads me a story every night, but this one is my favorite.”

Jeremy grabbed the book by his bed and handed it to me. Once I knew he was settled, I started reading. I tried my best to put on my best Gruffalo voice, but I wasn’t sure if I was doing it justice. Jeremy, however, laughed every time I did it, so I must have been doing something right.

Once I finished, I gave Jeremy the book and he placed it back where he found it. “You’re funny. When will you come visit us again?”

I bit my lip because I didn’t know how to answer that. The ball was entirely in Tyler’s court now. “I’m not sure, Jeremy. I hope it will be soon, though.”

Jeremy pulled his covers up. “Me, too. Good night, Dean.”

I leaned over, kissed his head, and stood up. “Good night, grown-up.”

I waited until he turned over and shut his eyes before making my way back downstairs. I knew Tyler and I needed to talk, but I also knew she needed her space. Now that Jeremy was in the picture, things were obviously different. I needed to tread more carefully.

Once I walked back into the living room, Tyler handed me another beer. “Do you want to sit outside with me for a while?”

I smiled. “Sure.”

Once we sat down, I turned to her. “Why did you look so shocked when Jeremy asked me to read to him?”

Tyler sat back in her chair and cleared her throat. “He normally doesn’t let anyone read to him, except me. Even after all the years he knew Evan, he never once asked him.”

After the kick in the gut from the mention of khaki man, I thought about it and smiled.

Tyler looked at me and nudged me with her hand. “There’s no need to look all smug, Dean.”

I shrugged and gave her a cheeky smile. “I can’t help it, Tyler. He is my son, after all.”

Tyler’s smile disappeared and she looked at me seriously. “Yes, he is. And how do you feel about that?”

I sighed. “Well, I won’t deny it was a shock, but you and I were always destined to get married and have children. Things haven’t worked out how I wanted them to, but shit happens, I guess.”

Tyler sipped her refilled glass of wine and leaned back in her chair. “I was on the pill. I’m not sure if you remember, but I got sick with a stomach bug and was off work for a while. The midwife said it most probably happened then.” She sighed a little and looked over at me. “It’s funny, really. Once I got over the initial shock, I felt happy. I knew I would miss you, so the thought of having a part of you always with me made me feel better. I don’t know if that makes any sense.”

I did remember that time. I also remember shouting at her in the office because she had been taking all that time off, but I was frustrated with not knowing what the hell was going on. I didn’t know about Jeremy at the time and it bugged me. I will never get over being such a shit to her.

“It makes perfect sense. Any part of you that you can give me, I will accept with open arms. I think you already know that, though.” I sipped my beer and waited for her to say something.

“Do you know I really haven’t got a clue what to do? I can’t think, my head’s fuzzy. I didn’t expect you to come back after—” She stopped and I could tell she was finding it hard.

I placed my hand on her shoulder and she looked up at me. “Tyler, I’m not expecting answers straight away. I’m not going to force you to think about what it is you want. I am here, though. I will be here for as long as you want me. But the one thing I must ask you is please don’t take Jeremy away from me now that I’ve found him. He needs me. I’m his father.”

Tyler nodded vigorously. “I know. I would never do that to you. But you have to understand one thing. I kept Jeremy away from you because I’m frightened for him. You continued what your parents left behind. You associate with people who are dangerous, Dean. I can’t have that around my son. I also can’t have you putting your life at risk all the time. What if we get close to you and we get that dreaded phone call one day telling us you’ve been killed? What would that do to me? What would that do to Jeremy?”