Redemption(47)

“I have three action men. Look.”

Jeremy handed me his three action figures and smiled. “You like action toys?” Jeremy nodded. “And you also like cars?” He nodded again. “What about soldiers? Do you like solders?” Jeremy’s eyes lit up and he ran towards a box in the corner. He was there a few seconds and pulled out some little soldiers. It made me smile. They nearly looked like the ones I used to play with as a boy.

“I have these ones.”

I smiled. “Wow, Grown-up. You have everything.”

Jeremy giggled again. “I like you. You’re funny.”

My heart burst with something unknown. It was a feeling I had never felt in my life. Right then, I wanted to cry, and I hardly ever cry.

I cleared my throat and tried my best to smile. “I like you, too, Jeremy. Very much.”

“What’s your name?” He took the soldiers from my hand, but didn’t once take his eyes from me.

“Dean.”

Jeremy’s eyes widened a little. “That’s my middle name.”

Of all the things I expected, that definitely wasn’t one of them. Jeremy sat down next to the coffee table and played with his toys, whilst I sat there in a complete shock.

“Here’s your beer.”

I looked up and saw Tyler staring down at me, worry in her eyes. “Can we talk?” I looked over at Jeremy and saw Tyler do the same.

“Jeremy, do you fancy a dip in the pool?”

He jumped up. “Yeah!”

Tyler motioned with her hand. “Come on then. Let’s get you changed and we’ll go outside.”

“Can Dean come in with me?” He looked expectantly from me to Tyler.

I shook my head, feeling bad that I couldn’t. I would have loved to. “I’d love to, but I don’t have any trunks with me, Grown-up.”

Jeremy looked sad for a moment, then brightened up a little. “Maybe next time.”

Jeremy ran off and I was left rooted to the spot. Tyler stood there for a moment, looking at me, then she followed him upstairs. I really hoped she would let me have a next time. In fact, I wanted lots of next times. I was instantly drawn to Jeremy and I wasn’t going to let him out of my life without a fight. Now I had two people to battle for, and I didn’t like losing.

About five minutes later, Tyler and Jeremy emerged from upstairs, and Tyler motioned for me to follow them outside. The moment we stepped out, the heat hit you. It seemed to be getting hotter as the day wore on.

Tyler motioned for me to sit down at the table in the shade, as she bent down to put rubber rings on Jeremy. It was hard not to stare. Tyler was mesmerizing at the best of times, but watching her with Jeremy was something else. I couldn’t even begin to describe it.

If I thought the scene couldn’t get much more intense, Tyler ruffled Jeremy’s hair and kissed him before sending him into the pool. “No running, Jeremy!” She smiled lovingly towards him and turned to look back at me, the smile vanishing. I instantly missed it. It was a smile she gave to me once upon a time.

Tyler sat in a chair next to me as we both stared out at Jeremy jumping in the pool. “I suppose you don’t need me to tell you who the father is. It was always going to end up being only one person.” She looked down for a moment before looking up to watch Jeremy.

“No.” For a moment, that was all I could say. My tongue was going dry and my heart was beating fast. I swallowed hard and eventually found my voice. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Tyler closed her eyes. “Because you would have never let me go.”

I fisted my hands together. I wanted to touch her, but I knew this wasn’t the time or the place. “I would never let you go anyway.” It was so important for her to realize that. I thought she did realize it.

Tyler dipped her head again. “I know.”

As her words sank in, my heart kicked up another notch. I had to get the answers from her I desperately needed. I was fucking scared that I wouldn’t like the answers, but I had to know. “What happens now?”

Tyler sighed and shrugged, her eyes pooling with tears. “I don’t know,” she whispered. On instinct, I reached out, but she put her hand up. “Please. Don’t.”

Even though every instinct in me screamed out to comfort her, I did as she asked. Tyler sniffled a little, wiped her eyes, and inhaled a deep breath. “Why aren’t you angry with me?”

Her question shocked me a little. I was expecting it to be the other way around. “I am angry.” She nodded in acceptance and dipped her head again. “I’m angry at myself for putting you through this. I’m angry I made you live your life in this way. I’m so fucking angry, I’ll never forgive myself. I could never be angry at you, Tyler. I did this to you. I did this to us.”