“Tyler, I fucking missed you so much. Don’t ever run from me again. This is where you belong. Right. Here. With. Me.” He pounded into me with each word, and with each word, I felt my orgasm rise. With each word, it hit a spot only Dean was ever able to strike. He was taking me over again and all I was able to do in that moment was feel.
Just feel, Tyler.
So I did. I let his spell surround me in its warm glow. I let him fuck me hard against the wall because this was always where I wanted to be.
“Fuck, Tyler. You need to come soon. I don’t know how long I can—”
With that, I screamed. I bellowed out his name and came so violently, I couldn’t see straight. His words and his touch were all it took to make me see stars.
“Tyler!” Dean pushed into me with a violent burst, his own release pouring inside of me. He held me in his arms as he rested his head in the crook of my neck. With one hand, I stroked his hair as I felt a sudden sob leave his lips.
Dean was crying and it was the most gut-wrenching sound I had ever heard. Not once had I seen or heard him cry, and the thought of it tore me up inside.
Dean was broken and the part that loved him so desperately wanted to fix him again. But how? I didn’t think I had enough inside to ever heal us both again. What he did left a permanent scar that would always be visible. He came to break me and he did, but it seemed his own actions had broken him, too. And the sick part about it? I wanted to heal him. I wanted so desperately to take his pain away.
I didn’t know what our future held, and the thought of me letting him in again filled me with pain. I wasn’t where he needed me to be and that thought crushed me more than words could say. The only thing I could offer him was now. I could at least give him that.
Pulling his head back, Dean faced me with a pained expression on his face. “I’m so sorry, Tyler. I want to fix this. I want to fix us.”
I smiled, thinking that he must have read my thoughts. I cupped his face in my hands and felt the cold rain and his warm tears hitting my skin. “I love you, Dean. I always have and I always will.”
Dean gripped his eyes shut for a moment before meeting my eyes again. “Why does it feel like there’s a ‘but’ after that sentence?”
I sighed, wondering how he could sense me so well. But I couldn’t do this to him. Not now. Not today.
“Will you come with me?”
I saw hope spark in his eyes for a second before he leaned in and kissed me tenderly on the lips. “Tyler, I will go wherever you go because I don’t belong anywhere else but with you.”
I kissed him back and he gently eased himself out of me, my feet meeting the ground. I pulled my skirt back down as Dean did up his jeans.
“I didn’t use a condom.” Dean looked at me apologetically and I shook my head.
“It’s okay, Dean.”
“I know it’s always okay, but what about getting pregnant?”
I cringed. Dean still didn’t know about the wonderful parting gift he left me with over four years ago. “I won’t get pregnant. It’s fine.”
I didn’t want to get into why, but after I gave birth to Jeremy, I had the Mirena coil fitted. It was something I always wanted to do, but heard it could be quite painful for someone who hadn’t had a baby before. After having Jeremy, it seemed like the most logical thing to do. It was a contraceptive which keep my periods so light, I hardly bled at all. It had been a godsend.
Dean nodded with a smile and looked me over. “You’re going to catch a cold if you stand out here any longer. Let’s get going. I have my car and will take you wherever you need to go.”
I gave him a gentle smile as he held out his hand to me. I intertwined my fingers in his and, for the first time in a long time, it felt as though I was right back to where I was sixteen years ago. In that moment, I let the glow surround me. I needed this as much as he did. I needed to let myself be this happy again.
As we neared the exit of the alley, Dean wrapped a protective arm around me. Not far from there was a Dodge Challenger that Dean quickly opened the door to. “A big muscle car,” I teased, a cheeky glint in my eye.
Dean smiled. “You couldn’t really have expected anything else from me, could you?”
I shook my head, getting in the car. Dean gently shut the door and I watched as he ran around the other side. I was soaked and I was now getting cold, but I didn’t let that ruin my moment today. Nothing could ruin this now.
Dean got in the other side and started the car. “So, where to?”
“Four Seasons.”
Dean smiled and nodded as he backed out of his space. A little way down the road, he grabbed my hand possessively and wrapped it around the car’s gearstick. With every shift, I felt him tug at my hand, but it was nice. For a while, I was going to let myself have the Dean back I once used to know. The boy who would always hold my hand and make me feel like the most precious woman on earth.