Closing my eyes, I shook my head against his. “Dean, I can’t—”
He held his fingers to my lips. “Shh, don’t say it, Tyler. Don’t say the words that will fucking break me. Don’t say the words that will tear my world apart.” Dean sighed and gripped his eyes shut before looking back at me again. “Don’t ask me to give up something that has always been a part of me. It will kill me, Tyler. Please. I can’t live without you.”
I pulled my head back and looked into his desperate eyes. I couldn’t possibly let him back in, but I couldn’t hurt him, either. No matter what he’d done to me, I would always remember the boy he once was. The man he once was. I couldn’t bring myself to say the words I needed to say because, despite every single thing he did to hurt me, I still cared for him. I still loved him. My fucking god, I loved him. Everything about him sucked me in. Every single breath I took, every heartbeat that ran through me was all for him. Why couldn’t I move past that? Why couldn’t I seem to let it go? Why couldn’t I seem to let him go? I was a shell, and only he could be the one to fill it in. I was fooling myself into thinking I could ever possibly love another man. He was always it for me.
The end of the road.
“Dean…” His name came as a breathless whisper. Dean looked up and I didn’t know what he saw, but something changed in his look. It became more predatory, the fire dancing within his eyes.
“I need you so fucking much. I want you so fucking much. I need to feel you, Tyler. I can’t live without the feel of you. I’ve waited so long to be inside you. I’ve waited so long to make you mine again.” His nose trailed a line from the base of my neck to my jaw. I hissed, feeling that same desire spark like never before.
Pulling away, he locked on me with those eyes of his and quickly pinned me up against the wall. A small gasp left my lips as my body completely took over. “Dean,” I whispered again, unable to hide my longing for him. My rage and despair quickly turned into something more primal. I wanted him so much at that moment. Probably more than I’d ever wanted him. The emotions seemed to spark an electric charge within me. It seemed to just zone in on one emotion and one emotion only.
Desire.
As if sensing this, Dean clasped his mouth to mine in a ferocious kiss. He claimed my mouth again, but it was different this time. This wasn’t the same as the gentle, tender kiss I got at the cemetery. This was somehow different. It was raw. It was passionate. It was desperate.
As his tongue explored mine, Dean grabbed my hands and placed them above my head as he ran his hands down my arms, then the length of my body. A small moan escaped my mouth as he hitched my skirt up with both hands and ripped the panties from my body.
My head felt dizzy with need. I didn’t think I could ever want someone as badly as this, but I did. It took over every thought, every hurt, every pain in my heart that I had ever felt. It took over everything he had ever done to me.
I was completely and utterly his.
With one hand, Dean opened his belt and unbuckled his jeans. He looked frantic, but all that did was heighten my desire. I was just as desperate as he was.
Once he freed himself, Dean picked me up and held me against the wall. He held me there a moment, staring deeply into my eyes. A tear came down my face and Dean kissed it away.
“I want to kiss all your tears away, Tyler.”
Before I even had a moment to process what he said, he entered me. Dean cried out and I closed my eyes, another sob escaping my lips. I didn’t know why I was crying at that moment because it was all I ever dreamed off. The relief of feeling him again was overwhelming me.
Dean stopped and looked into my eyes with an agonizing stare. “I’m so sorry, Tyler. So sorry.”
Closing my eyes, I captured his lips with mine and breathed heavily into his mouth. “Please, Dean. Don’t. Stop.”
Dean growled and pushed into me, making my heart pound in my ears. I felt like I had been away from home and had finally returned. Everything about this was so wrong, but it felt as though I was right where I needed to be. Right where I was always meant to be.
As he pushed inside me more, Dean claimed my mouth and all I could do was ride this glorious wave he had me under. I was pinned, I couldn’t move, I had nowhere to go, but there was nowhere else I would rather be. In fact, I wished it would never end. I wanted to remain in our bubble. Nothing could hurt us there. Nothing and no one could break us as long as we remained there. Together. The way we were always meant to be.
“Tyler!” he screamed as he pounded into me over and over again. My knees were starting to shake. My world was starting to shake. It was everything I remembered and more.