I leaned over and took her hand. “I’m so sorry I did this to you. I have never forgiven myself for leaving you behind without letting you know what was going on. I came here because I wanted to see you, but I also came here to tell you just how sorry I am. I don’t know if you’ll ever forgive me, but I had to come here and see if it was possible.”
Louisa squeezed my hand with a smile. “I’m not going to sugarcoat things, Tyler. I grieved when you left. I thought I had lost my best friend. But, at the same time, I understand why you did what you did. You’re a mother now and your son will always be your priority above everything and everyone else.” She smiled again and let go of my hand. “Do you have a picture of Jeremy? I’d love to see him.” I nodded, reached into my purse and pulled out a photograph I carried everywhere with me. “He has your hair.”
I laughed. “I know. That’s the only thing he’s inherited from me.”
She looked at the picture, a dreamy expression on her face. “He looks so handsome. His father must be quite the dish.” She winked and handed the photo back.
I laughed. “He is. He always knew how to turn on the charm.” I smiled, but it was in sadness. I still missed him no matter what he’d done. I was angry at him, though. So, so angry.
“So, where are you working now?” I asked, needing to change the subject.
Louisa rolled her eyes. “I’m still with The Daily. We have a new boss now, but he seems cool. Better than Andrew Walker.” Her eyes widened. “Sorry. I can’t believe that was Dean. How on earth did no one notice that? Not even Ian noticed.”
I shook my head as I couldn’t fathom it myself. “He obviously had a good make-up artist because I never recognized him fully until I visited him in his office that night after everyone else had gone home. Ian was obviously just as oblivious because he never once mentioned it to me.” I cringed a little, thinking about him.
“I always thought there was something about Ian, you know.” I looked up, surprised by her comment. “I would sometimes catch him looking at you in a way that a best friend shouldn’t. I could tell he was in love with you, just not to the level it obviously was. Now I wish I had said something to you. Maybe things could have been different. I don’t know. I think I was hoping he would tell you in his own time. I just didn’t think it would end up in him attacking you.”
I gave Louisa a sarcastic laugh and shook my head. “He surprised me more than I could ever imagine, but I don’t think you telling me would have made any difference, so please don’t beat yourself up about it.” I took a sip of my tea and placed it back on the coaster. “I hope we can build our friendship back up again, Louisa. It would mean the world to me if we could. I just hope, in time, you can forgive me and learn to trust me again.”
Louisa sighed and stared at me a moment. She then moved one side of her lips up in a smile. “I will forgive you, but only on one condition.”
I leaned forward. “Name it.”
Louisa leaned forward, too. “You come to my wedding in August.”
I laughed and nodded, thinking it was the least I could do. It would mean coming back to the one place I ran from all those years ago, but I couldn’t back out of this. No matter what.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
I stayed for another hour and gave Louisa all the details of where I was living now. We hugged and cried, and she said she would be in touch about the wedding. After telling her they are welcome to come and stay with me anytime, I left and headed for the hotel for that much-needed nap.
I woke up around four o’clock and got myself ready for my next visit. I put on a knee-high skirt, blouse, and high heels. I figured if I was going to see him, I could at least make an effort. I asked the hotel to order me a taxi, which arrived ten minutes later. The ride was quick, despite the fact the school run would probably still be happening at that hour. The day was overcast, just like my mood. I promised myself before I came that I wouldn’t cry. I wouldn’t break down. I was just visiting a friend. A dear, close friend who was like a brother to me.
“That’ll be fifteen quid, love.” The taxi driver turned around to look at me. “Have you got an umbrella? It looks like it’s gonna rain.”
I shook my head and handed him a twenty pound note. “No, but I’ll be fine. Keep the change.”
He nodded, said thanks, and gave me a gentle smile. I think he knew I wasn’t at the cemetery just to wander.
I got out of the taxi and he pulled away, leaving me standing outside the gates. It looked how it did that last day I was there. The day that tore my heart in two.