Tyler grabbed my hand and placed it on her breasts. I squeezed it a little and rubbed my thumb over her nipple. She moaned again. “I need you to fuck me. I don’t care how you do it, as long as I feel you inside me. I want you, Dean. It’s always been you.” She breathed heavily into my mouth and I captured it, trying to taste her. I needed her right now. But no matter how much this need took over, she needed to know something first. Only then could I even begin to redeem myself. Only then could I move on and beg her forgiveness. Only then could I even hope to begin our future together.
So I pulled away. I left her breathless and wanton for me because I had to confess my sins first.
“Tyler, I have to tell you something.”
She made a move to kiss me again. “Afterwards. I need you first.”
She placed her hand at the back of my neck and tried to pull me to her, but I grabbed her arm and pushed her away. I fucking hated doing that. Normally, I would never reject her. I just needed her to know before we could even try to move on.
“It can’t wait. It has to be now, Tyler. It’s important.”
She sighed, but leaned back. “Okay. What is it?”
I gripped my eyes shut, hating the fact that I was going to do this to her. She had to know, though. She had to know what kind of a monster I had really become.
“Back when I was plotting my revenge against you, I found out something.” I paused for a moment and watched as she looked at me, a puzzled expression on her face. “I found out about Jeremy.” I cringed before I told her the truth that would hurt her all over again. “I was the one who sent all those reporters. I was the one who made him believe that you had told them about him. It was me and I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”
Tyler shot up out of her seat and paced the floor. “You killed him!” She looked at me with thunder in her eyes.
I cringed again. “I know I did. I had to tell you, Tyler. You had to know. I need you to trust me again and the only way I can make that happen is by telling you the truth.”
“The truth?!” She shouted the words so loudly, it came out like a squeal. She was in pain. And I was the one to blame again. “The truth?! You think you can tell me something like that and everything will be okay? I was letting you back in again.” She shook her head in dismay. “I can’t believe I was actually letting you back into my heart, only for you to rip it apart again. How could you, Dean? How could you have done that to him? He was only sixteen when he died. A boy!” She let out a cry and I shot up to comfort her. “No. Stay away from me. I don’t want you anywhere near me. Do you hear me? Stay the fuck away.” She looked at me with venom in her eyes. “You’re poison, Dean. Everything about you is fucking poisonous. Get out. I never want to see you again.” I didn’t move for a second. I couldn’t. “Get…out!”
I didn’t want to go, but I knew staying was no use. She was angry with me, but how could I blame her? There was no point in trying to fix this now. Fresh wounds needed time to heal, and I needed to give that to her.
Turning, I headed for the door and turned the handle. Stepping out, I turned back and saw her dejected frame. “I’m so sorry, Tyler. I had to tell you so you knew just how sorry I truly was. I know I can’t take away what happened, but you simply have to know that I’ll never forgive myself.” I closed my eyes for a moment before closing the door. I had no fucking idea what was going to happen with us, but she needed to know.
I just hoped she would eventually find it in her heart to forgive me.
Chapter 9
Tyler
I was right back where I was over four years ago. Those wounds that had barely begun to heal were ripped open again. Once Dean left, I went to bed and cried myself to sleep over the boy who thought I had hurt him in the worst way possible when, the whole time, it was Dean. All along, it was Dean.
The next day, I took a shower, went online to book a ticket, and packed a few things. Once I was done, I phoned my mother.
“Tyler, how are you keeping?”
I sighed. “I wish I could say I was okay, but that would be a lie. How’s Jeremy?”
“He’s fine. He’s getting stronger by the day. This morning, I found him jumping on the bed and squealing for Twiglets. I think his energy has come back with full force.” She laughed a little, then stopped abruptly. “I need to tell you something, Tyler. Yesterday, I found out Dean was staying in the same hotel as us. We went down to get something to drink and I saw him walking through the foyer and out the doors. It was enough for us to rush back upstairs and stay in our room ever since.”