“I didn’t know you felt that way, Jeremy.”
My father saw the sadness in my eyes and his frown turned into a smile as he faced Jeremy. “Your mum does all that for you, Jeremy. You have lots of people who love you.” He walked up to Jeremy and tickled him a little. Jeremy laughed, but all I could do was stand and stare at my mum. I think she knew what I was thinking. When I did all that with him, it wasn’t the same as having a dad.
Jeremy suddenly coughed and my dad stopped. “I’m sorry, Jeremy.”
Jeremy beamed. “I’m fine. I’m tough like Superman.”
We all laughed, but I couldn’t get what Jeremy said out of my head. I always thought that what I gave him would be enough, but I was stupid to ever think that way. He needed his dad, and I had been keeping him away from Jeremy all this time.
The guilt soon flooded in. Jeremy had asked about his dad a couple times. It was only natural for him to want to know. I always shrugged him off by saying his dad lived far away and we had lost touch. It was a terrible excuse to give to him, but what was the alternative? Say he was dead? I couldn’t do that when it was a lie. I had to give him some sort of truth. Jeremy deserved at least that.
As I was thinking about all this, I wondered what Dean would think about Jeremy, and vice versa. They were alike in so many ways, it was uncanny. It hurt to see Dean’s face in Jeremy but, at the same time, he reminded me of a boy that once was. I could only look fondly at those memories. Despite what Dean did, I could never taint those. They were mine and always would be.
I saw my mum yawn a little and it made me feel guilty. “Why don’t you go back to the hotel and get some sleep? Your body thinks it’s after one in the morning. I’ll be fine with Jeremy until morning.” As discreetly as I could so as not to confuse Jeremy, I told them the plan.
My mum and dad agreed, and after a lot of hugs and kisses, they left. I kept Jeremy amused for a little while, but I could tell he was getting tired again. After five minutes of staying quiet and stroking his hair, Jeremy fell asleep. Snuggling up with him, it wasn’t long after that I did the same.
Chapter 4
Dean
Hell is yourself and the only redemption is when a person
puts himself aside to feel deeply for another person.
Tennessee Williams
The minute I landed in Dulles, I got myself a BMW X3 from the car rental company, then phoned Jimmy. In the four hours he had already been in town, he managed to locate the hospital, then followed Tyler’s mum and dad to a house in McLean. He later found out that the house belonged to a Jessica Florentino. I had to smile at that because I knew it was Tyler. I was almost certain that she picked that name because of the lotus flower.
Jimmy stayed and watched the house for the ten minutes they were there. Then they came out with a bag and drove back to the hospital.
“Are they still there?”
“Yeah.” He paused a moment. “Actually, hold on… They’re coming back out. Do you want me to follow them?”
“I take it Tyler’s not with them?”
“No, they’ve still got the bag, but they’re getting in a car now.”
I didn’t want to lose Tyler’s parents, just in case, but now that I had an address to go on, it made things a lot easier. “Don’t worry about following them. Can you give me the address they went to before? If you don’t mind staying there for a couple more hours—”
“Don’t worry. I’m on it.”
I said my thanks and Jimmy told me the address. I punched it into my Sat Nav and drove the forty minutes or so to the house. When I got there, I was a little taken aback. It was quite impressive from the outside. It was a colonial detached house with big bay windows and a large garden. Tyler had certainly made a living for herself. It made me wonder how she got the money, as I knew she was an independent girl. It made my heart hurt to think she had to concede to her parents in order to escape me.
Fuck, I really had hurt her. I was the biggest prick on earth, but an even bigger prick for pursuing her like this. It was obvious that she had moved on, but I couldn’t ignore the fact that I hadn’t. Call it fucking selfish on my part, but I couldn’t possibly move on unless she was standing right beside me.
But the more I stared at that house, the more one realization came pummeling down to beat me to death. Why did she need such a big house? Could it be that she had a family now? Got married? The thought made my hands grip the steering wheel tighter than ever. I had to know. But I also had to be patient. I had waited four years for this. I could wait a few more hours.
But as one hour turned into two, Jimmy called to tell me that there was no movement at the hospital. “Do you want me to go in, Dean?”