“Holly.”
“Good night,” she snapped without turning around.
Just let it go. You’re asking for trouble if you don’t let her go.
“Holly.” Shit. He ran a hand over his face. “Wait.”
She slowed her steps, finally stopping, but she still didn’t turn around. Her hair fell in gentle silver-gold swirls past her waist. Small bits of hay clung to the silken strands. He watched as she slowly turned around, saw her chin jut out, displaying the stubborn streak she’d had since she could talk, and silently cursed himself for getting into this situation. With that angelic face and a body Playboy would kill to add to its centerfold collection, he knew he’d just made a big mistake. Another one. His body was still erect and throbbing, ready for action of a different kind that had nothing to do with the battlefield. Spending too much time around her he could easily lose his mind. Or find himself in a whole lot of trouble. Maybe both.
“I...I couldn’t sleep,” she said finally, her voice soft. “I guess it’s because you’re home.” She huffed out an embarrassed laugh as though she now thought the idea was completely lame. “I considered maybe you might be out here and could use some company. I thought we could talk. Like we used to. Sorry I woke you up.”
Chance muttered a string of silent curses, all aimed at himself. He could feel all the little spears of warning jabbing his body and mind, each one screaming No! as he nodded, sat back down on the old blanket he’d found in the office and patted a corner, silently inviting her to join him.
“I would like your company. I’ll try to be nice.”
With a shift in body language, Holly approached him, moving the loose strands of hay around and fussing over the makeshift bed like a hen building a nest. When she finally had her spot the way she wanted, she sat down and grinned up at him. She was radiant. She smelled of some kind of berries, probably her shampoo. It was nice. Not all flowery like what some women used. He could feel the slight heat of her smaller body next to him as she relaxed against the wall.
This was a very bad idea.
“So have your brothers hit you up about quitting the SEALs and coming home permanently?”
He wondered which of them told her about their little plan. “Wade?”
“Cole.” She smiled. “I take it that’s a yes. And let me guess. Might your answer have something to do with you being out here in the barn?”
“You know, Naval Intelligence could use your talent.”
“It isn’t that I’m snoopy,” she countered. “All that much,” she qualified. “People just like to blab. Especially men.”
“I’m going to let that pass.”
“That might be wise.” A frown covered her face, an indication of sincerity.
“So tell me about your clinic.”
“It’s there. You saw it. We’ve had this conversation. I’d rather talk about you.”
“I’m sure I’ll regret this...but what about me?”
“Exactly.”
She sounded pleased that he understood. He didn’t understand a damn thing except the need to adjust his pants. He turned his head and looked down into her eyes. Their faces were separated only by the width of their shoulders. He watched as her eyes dipped to his mouth. And stayed there. Her teeth were so white against her slightly open lips. His ability to remain indifferent dropped to below 2 percent. Give or take. With jaw-clenching determination, he looked away. “What can I tell you?”
When she didn’t immediately answer, he turned back to her, noting how she’d again lowered her gaze to his mouth.
“I’m not exactly sure how to put it.” She chewed her lower lip. Then let it slide from between her teeth until her mouth was again slightly open. Moistened. Full. Ready for kissing. Her soft honey-brown eyes looked directly into his.
“Is it hard?”
Three
Chance froze as a flare of heat once again surged to his groin. He cleared his throat and tried to weigh the question. He’d been around the men in his platoon too long. They all tended to break the tension and stress by intentionally putting the wrong connotation on something another said. This was Holly. Especially after what just happened, it was better to be safe.
“Is what hard?”
“What you do. For a living. Being a SEAL.” She looked down at her hands, fiddling with a piece of straw. “I know you guys are the best, but even then, sometimes... Sometimes bad things happen. Like...what happened to Jason. I know you were hurt. Wade told me. I hear about an accident in Iraq or Afghanistan, like a chopper going down or our men being killed by some hidden bomb, and it’s all I can do to take another breath. I know what it’s like to get that phone call from a near hysterical wife who is calling to tell you your brother—her husband and the father of their baby—is dead. I can’t imagine what it must be like on the other side. To actually see someone killed or badly injured.”
He felt her struggle to not break down.
“After Jason... It became so real. It was no longer just a news report that happened to someone else. They could be talking about you. I pretty much held my breath every time they announced another casualty or bombing involving our guys, only relaxing when Wade didn’t call to tell me anything after a few days.”
That surprised him. He’d never considered that Holly would follow the news reports from that part of the world out of concern for him. He sensed she needed to know more than she’d probably been told. “It’s a job, Holly. One that needs doing. I try not to think any further than that. I trust my team. I know they’ve got my back and in return they have confidence in me and we get it done. Sometimes bad things happen. But that’s true wherever you are, whatever you’re doing.” They all prepared for that moment; they all knew the next breath could be their last, especially in SEALs. But he refrained from saying that out loud.
She was quiet for a long time.
“I wanted to write to you.” She shrugged. “Especially after Jason was killed. Wade offered an address.” She shook her head. “I was afraid I would say something that might cause you to lose your focus.”
“Nah. You should write. I’d enjoy hearing from you.”
She looked up at him. “Really?”
“Well, yeah.”
She settled back against the board wall and he felt her relax. One of the horses nickered; another answered.
“The horses are always ready to go. Night or day. I love their spirit. So eager to be saddled and taken on an adventure. I think they enjoy it as much as the riders do.”
“I would have to say you’re right. The biggest problem I used to encounter was holding them back when they wanted to tear ass and run.”
“Do you think you can still do it?”
Chance had to get a grip on this. There were so many ways this question could go.
“Do what?”
“Ride a horse.” This time she looked over at him, frowning. “What did you think I meant?”
He shrugged and hoped she would let it go. Distraction was the key. “Hell, yeah, I can still ride. It’s like a bicycle. Once you learn...”
“Isn’t that what they say about sex?” she asked. “I suppose it fits both scenarios.”
Sex? Did she bring that up on purpose? He glanced over and saw the look of pure innocence on her face. Nah. “What do you know about sex anyway?” It was out before he could stop it.
The cool look she gave him didn’t require words. But she answered anyway.
“Really. Are you honestly going there?” A look of disbelief covered her fine features. Her mouth was open in awe. Again. “Chance, I’m twenty-four years old and a year shy of being a doctor. I probably know more about sex than you do.”
He absolutely refused to take up that challenge. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
“What way did you mean it? That I’m just a dumb little girl who never left the farm?”
“Your intelligence has never been questioned. I know you’re smart,” he murmured, adjusting his jeans in the most unnoticeable way he could. “You always have been.”
“Okay. Well, that kinda narrows the options.”
Chance didn’t like where this conversation was going. He didn’t want to think about Holly in another man’s arms let alone his bed. Hell. It was none of his business. Holly was an adult and she could date whom she wanted. But he still didn’t like it. Those bullets had done more than knock out his knee and shoulder. Apparently they had severely screwed with his head.
“Who is your boyfriend? Maybe I know him.” Safe subject.
“Don’t have one. Once the clinic caught on, I barely had time to breathe. That’s when we hired Jolie to run the office, take the calls, set up the appointments.”
“You said Kevin Grady is the co-owner?”
She nodded.
“I remember him. Red hair? Thick glasses?”
“Yeah.” She nodded and smiled. “You should see his kids! Anyway, he has the experience but couldn’t handle the workload by himself. I had the land and the old house that was left to me when Aunt Ida died. And that old masonry building sitting empty. So we formed a partnership. So far it’s working. There are two high school boys who work weekends and evenings, cleaning and caring for the boarded animals. Even then it’s still hectic at times. Right now we are all struggling to learn the new computer system.”