“Are we good?” he asked, a grin spreading across his sinfully seductive face.
“Better than good,” she answered, her voice a little breathless and throaty, and her mind utterly muddled from his proximity. Would she always feel this way around him? It felt surreal and a little frightening, but she could handle it as long as she had Cam.
***
Standing just outside the side curtain backstage, her finger tapping against her leg, Taylor watched Chasing Ruin rock the final song of the night. She had been caught in Cam’s gaze more than once during the performance and she hoped the rest of the band was too focused on their music to notice the fiery looks he tossed in her direction every few minutes.
By the time the performance ended, the members of Chasing Ruin were drenched in their own sweat as smoke and lights swirled along the depths of the stage. Alec beat on his drums unaccompanied by the rest of the band for less than a minute, and then the stage went entirely black. The crowd chanted, “more, more, more,” their cell phones held high in the air illuminating the shadows of the stage. Finally, all the lights turned back on and the crowd filed out of their seats as electricity and excitement buzzed through the room.
She loved watching live music. It was the main reason she worked as a band promoter in Seattle during college. The energy and power of a live performance cradled her damaged soul. As a kid, she listened to music to drown out her mother’s drunken rants or late night visitors, but as she grew older, music became her escape where she could feel something other than the pain and destruction in her life.
She couldn’t take credit for zeroing in on music as a way to escape her depressing reality. Alec inspired her love of music one night when he shared his earphones with her as way to pass the time and ignore the sounds of drunken strangers filling their home. Both of them had listened to the music streaming from his headphones until they fell asleep. It was a ritual that she continued even after Alec moved away from home and joined his first band. By the time she left for college, she had playlists for every unhealthy circumstance her mom had brought into their home—another new boyfriend, one night stand night, alcoholic binges, parties, drugs and…the abuse.
When the stadium seats were nearly empty, Taylor made her way back to the green room. She couldn’t wrap herself around Cam like she wanted to, but she wanted to see him and be close to him, let him know that she loved the performance tonight and maybe they could slip away for a few minutes before the band had to be on the bus again.
Standing at the entrance to the green room, she scanned the room for Cam. A parade of women, in all different sizes, builds and colors trailed behind the security staff to join the party. From her casual scrutiny, the women only shared a few traits—a lack of clothing and several unnaturally bloated body parts.
“Hey,” Alec said, placing his hand on her shoulder.
“Hey,” she replied, her eyes still focused on the mayhem threatening to erupt before her eyes.
“Do you want to grab something to eat?”
“I’m working,” she replied absently.
“Cam will be fine tonight. I hardly saw you in Vegas and I wanted to catch up and see how things are going. I miss you, sis.”
“I don’t know,” she prevaricated. She really wanted to talk to Cam. “Let me find Cam first. Maybe he’ll want to come with us.”
Alec wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her a few steps into the room. “He’ll be fine.” He pointed toward the far corner.
Cam stood in the corner with an extremely tanned, blonde woman whose arms were wrapped around his waist, a playful pout on her face. Taylor didn’t say a word for a few excruciating moments as her lunch threatened to make another less appetizing appearance.
“You okay?” Alec asked, his dark eyes roaming her face, dissecting every twitch and tic.
She inhaled deeply, trying to control the rage threatening to explode. “Yeah. Are you sure I can leave Cam alone with her? I thought I needed to watch him so we don’t have a repeat video performance posted on the web.” With every word that fell out of her mouth, her stomach twisted into a tighter knot until she didn’t think she could breathe.
“That’s Anna and he’ll be fine with her for now,” Alec said pulling her toward the door, his hand on her lower back as they walked down the hall. She didn’t resist. She couldn’t, not when she felt her heart shriveling into dust and ice clawing at her veins. Not even catching her ex in the act with her neighbor elicited a similar response. She felt betrayed and a little disgusted by Miles, but she didn’t physically ache like she did right now. It was as though something had cracked deep inside of her. She should have expected it and the fact that she convinced herself that he wouldn’t hurt her made her insides crumble with humiliation.