“So anyway, as you can imagine, I’m not very trusting or open and tonight…being with you scared me a little.” She shook her head and lowered her voice so it was barely audible. “It was a little overwhelming and when I get overwhelmed I run. I know it’s stupid, but it’s like mind and body separate and I can’t stop myself from going into a primal self-protective mode. My thoughts run away from me and I make dumb decisions.”
“It’s okay. I get it. You don’t need to explain.” Being with her scared him too because he never wanted someone so much and so fast that he didn’t care about anything else. Bre had gradually worked her way into his life, first as a playmate, then as a friend and finally as his girlfriend, but his feelings for her slowly grew and expanded over a decade. His feelings for Taylor were different, like a tidal wave crashing over him and he never stood a chance once he let her in.
“Yes, I do.” Cautiously, she brushed her lips across his. “The thing is…I don’t think I’m cut out for a fun, no strings attached thing with you. I thought I could do it, but I can’t. I’m sorry. I know you can’t give me more and I’m not mad. I’m the one who changed the rules, but after tonight, it just won’t work for me.” She cupped his face, her beautiful dark blue eyes studying his. “No hard feelings, okay? We’ll just forget this happened and be friends.”
His heart jumped to his throat as she moved to stand up. Cam tugged her back down on the bed next to him, refusing to let her go. “We don’t have to do the no strings attached thing. I don’t want that either. You saw how I reacted when that guy hit on you tonight.”
She chuckled softly. “I’m not trying to make you change your mind or make you feel guilty.”
He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head, inhaling her scent. She smelled just right. He couldn’t explain what that meant, but it was true. Everything about her was just right for him. “Guilt has nothing to do with me wanting to be with you. If you need more, I’ll give you more.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, her voice uncertain and insecure.
Wrapping his arms around her, he lowered them onto the bed. He wanted to feel her pressed against him in the bed. “More certain than I’ve been about anything in a long time.”
His hand moved slowly along her side, to her stomach and back again, caressing her soft skin. He loved having her next to him and in his bed so much so that he dreaded getting back on that bus and pretending like they were just friends or worse, uninvolved business associates. He didn’t want to pretend when everything with Taylor felt so real, so ripe with emotion that he wanted to claim her on every level and he would; when the tour ended.
When he started to drift to sleep, he felt her body shaking lightly next to him and he gently pushed her onto her back, afraid she was crying. Instead of seeing tears, Taylor was laughing silently.
“What’s so funny?” he said, confused.
“You were jealous.”
He rolled on top of her, taking in her amused smile. Her smile literally stole the breath from his chest and he was coming to the realization that he’d do just about anything to keep it there. “Insanely jealous.”
“And you were ready to punch him in the face for flirting with me?” she asked her smiling widening.
“Yes, I don’t—”
Her mouth collided with his, cutting off his words and the increasingly familiar buzz raced through his body. She slid his boxers down his legs and her hand moved smoothly up and down his hard length. She wasn’t tender, but her masterful balance between pain, pleasure and urgency drove him to the brink. Within seconds, his body screamed for release as she bit, kissed and nibbled on his lips with so much desire he could only see her. Everything was about Taylor. He couldn’t believe he ever called her humorless or uptight. She was fire, ice and everything in between.
Tearing her panties down her legs, she immediately wrapped her legs around his body. He glided his hard length along her slick entrance feeling the heat, the wetness and her.
“Ugh,” he groaned into her mouth, sliding into her just an inch. Incredible. Amazing. Perfect.
“Mm,” she moaned, arching her hips and then she froze. “Stop. Condom,” she gasped pushing against his chest.
“Fuck,” he pulled out, his mind snapping out of the lust-induced fog. “I’m sorry.” That never happened, not to him, not with anyone. His dad hammered him with hundreds of put a sock on it horror stories from the time he reached thirteen years old and he had never forgotten, not even with Bre. Reaching for the nightstand, he grabbed one from the box he stuck in there before dinner.