"Do you really think I want to do this?" Gage says a little louder, his tone incredulous. "I have been searching for anything at all to avoid this, but I can't find a better solution."
"Kane," Deke grumbles, keeping his voice lower than Gage did, "he's right. Do you think I like locking Sierra up? I hate it. It makes me feel sick to my stomach every time I lock that door, but we both know it has to be done. The red moon is dangerous to anyone with an animal-related creature inside them. Alyssa has all of them, making her all the more dangerous."#p#分页标题#e#
I swallow hard. It's me they want to lock up. Was it that bad? Are they all that scared of what I'll do? I can't blame them, I suppose. I'm scared of what I'll do.
"No! This discussion is over!" Kane hisses.
I frown as I use my magic to clothe myself with some of the few things I have in my bag. They're right. I need to be caged like all the other beasts in the fey world. It's a sobering reality I never thought I'd have to face. I'm paying penance for my past judgments on others. Karma really is a bitch.
I step out, startling them all into guilty silence when they quickly realize I've overheard. Kane shakes his head the second he reads my eyes.
"No," he asserts, refusing to budge on his stance before I even deliver my argument.
"Kane, they're right. If this is happening because of the red moon, it's too risky. It's not like it's every night. I'll be fine in a cage for a few nights here and there."
Gage looks down, probably feeling like an ass for wanting to lock me up, but I understand. I'm dangerous. I'm even more dangerous than all the deadly beauties I've condemned over the years. It's a fitting punishment for my small-minded ways.
"I said no, Alyssa," Kane barks, walking away from me as he heads into the kitchen.
I sigh as I follow, leaving Gage and Deke in the living room. Kane is pouring a cup of coffee when I walk around the small dividing wall. He turns and holds his hand up before I can speak.
"Don't. You can't make me lock you in a cage. I won't do it. Would you do it to me?"
My heart folds over itself a few times to think of such an option, but he's not dangerous like I am—frigging irony.
"If you were worried you'd do something you'd never forgive yourself for because you couldn't control yourself, then yes—I'd do it if you asked me to."
His eyes soften as all the defensive hardness washes away. He looks so torn right now, struggling to find a better way. There isn't one.
"I... Alyssa, I can't. I can't lock you up and watch you struggle to get free. You're not like Sierra or Amy. You won't be in changed form. You'll be you—just—not you," he murmurs, confusing both of us. "What I mean is you'll still be in your form, you just won't be in control. I'll hear you beg me to let you go, and I won't be able to deny you no matter what you're capable of."
Tension and weariness taints the sigh I release. I know I'm putting him in a terrible situation. I don't know what I'm like because I can't remember anything. It's all so—crazy.
"You told me I took your blood last night, Kane. I was a night stalker. That freaks me out, mostly because I can't remember a second of it. Who knows what else I can do? I sure as hell don't, and I don't want some poor, unsuspecting human to meet me when I'm like that. The only way to ensure that won't happen is to lock me up. Don't think of it as hurting me; think of it as saving me. You're good at that."
I smile to try and lighten the heavy situation, but he stays silent, brooding as he thinks it over. What I'm asking him to do isn't fair, and I don't know if I could really do it to him, but I can't tell him that.
With a frustrated, angered groan, he roughly places his cup back on the counter, letting the coffee splash over the rim and form a small puddle around the bottom.
"I don't like this," he mumbles, refusing to let his eyes meet mine as he sulks.
A sad smile graces my lips as I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his neck, enjoying the warmth he brings when he returns the embrace without the slightest bit of hesitation.
"Then you can do it under extreme protest," I joke, doing well not to fall apart.
This is all too much. I never prepared for this.
"Drackus is on the phone for you," Zee says as he walks in, grinning when he sees us holding onto to each other like a couple in love.
"Thanks," I say softly, feeling a little better now that Zee knows everything. I hated keeping so many secrets from him since he's Kane's best friend. I'm sure Kane needs someone to talk to—to vent to.