Jack had a scowl on his face that seemed to be a permanent fixture. Loki hated the way Jack wouldn’t look into his eyes anymore, it hurt more than the throbbing under Loki’s skull.
“Let’s go,” Jack said and waved at Loki, as Monster led the way.
Loki slid off the hood and ran after them with his heart in his throat. Brian found being buried alive so funny? Maybe he should get a taste of his own medicine then? Die a slow death in a casket buried six feet under. Would Jack let Loki use his knife? Loki would love to have a try at carving, too.
Jack pulled out his gun, but as he began moving slower, Monster dismissed him with a short hand gesture.
“He’s drugged up to his eyeballs, he won’t hear us,” Monster said and was the first one to enter the house.
“How long until he sobers up?” whispered Loki, standing next to Jack and looking up at him. The moldy, wet smell of the building mixed with the awful tang of urine made Loki hold his breath.
Jack shrugged, glancing at Brian curled up on the filthy couch in the corner. He looked like shit, pale, with scabs at his mouth and matted hair, but before Loki could absorb the whole picture, Jack stepped forward. “Does it matter?” He pointed the gun at the sofa, and Loki yelped, but it was too late. Jack pulled the trigger, splattering Brian’s brain over the wall.
It was like a punch in the gut. “No! No! He didn’t deserve to have a peaceful fucking death in his sleep!” yelled Loki, staring at Jack, with hurt pulling at his heart. Jack knew how much this meant to him. He’d practically torn Ted apart, and now he was okay with just blowing up Brian’s skull?
Jack tensed, and still wouldn’t look Loki in the eye. “You wanted him dead.”
Having this conversation with Monster’s cold eyes watching was the last thing Loki wanted, but he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.
“Not like this! You know this! You know what he did!” yelled Loki, balling his hands into fists. His chest was bursting with anger, and it kept coming in rapid waves. He felt betrayed. Helping him find closure was yet another chore for Jack.
Jack put away his gun and slid his hands into his pockets with a scowl. The silence from him was only making the whole thing worse. Even if he did regret shooting Brian like he did, it was too damn late. No matter how much Loki would tear into Brian’s body with a knife, it was all it was now, a dead body. He might as well carve up a pig carcass and have the same effect. Still, he rushed over the dirt-caked floor and pulled on Brian’s hoodie. The fucker rolled to the floor like a rag doll, and bits of bloody tissue sprinkled Loki’s shoes.
“No... you disgusting fuck!”
It was only now that Jack cleared his throat and came up from the back to pull on Loki’s T-shirt. “Leave it.”
Loki shoved him away and bared his teeth. “Let go!”
Jack stepped back and sighed. “Don’t you want this over with?” He finally met Loki’s gaze, but he didn’t sound like he believed his own words, which made his attempts at convincing Loki quite useless.
“You put him down like a dog, with fucking tranquilizers in his blood so that nothing hurts! And it should hurt! He didn’t even know I came for him!”
“I’m sorry,” Jack muttered in the end. “My head hurts.”
Loki exhaled, staring at Jack as his own body slowly deflated. Was this an adequate response to how Jack felt about Loki making a move on him the night before? Was Jack really so hurt? “You should lie down.”
“Yeah, do that,” said Monster, suddenly reminding them both he was still there. He put a gas can on the floor and stretched. “I need to get moving.”
Jack scratched his forehead and looked at Brian’s body with a tight scowl.
“Thanks,” muttered Loki and walked past Monster, eager to breathe the pine-scented air outside. Only now did he look down at his sneakers, and he wiped them on a patch of moss. His chest felt empty and heavy at the same time. Two down, three to go.
“We’ll be waiting for your next call,” Loki heard Jack say to Monster, but he already rushed toward his car, as if Jack pushed him. The rift between them was only growing, and Loki was slowly becoming desperate. What if Jack never forgave him? What if in his mind Loki just trying something new in bed was a betrayal of trust, an assault?
Jack went back to his bike without a word, but didn’t mount it, fiddling with something on his seat. Loki didn’t shut the door of his car right away after getting in He watched the broad back, the fiery hair, the big hand resting on the bitch seat of the motorcycle. He wanted to say something, but then again, clearly, Jack didn’t want to have anything to do with him at this point. It hurt Loki to even look at the vacant space between them. He wanted back on that bitch seat, and he knew exactly how to show his commitment to Jack.