Loki kissed his fingertips. “Maybe Keith did.”
Red Jack pulled his fingers away in panic and the furious beeping next to the bed gave away his nerves. He was surprised that no nurse barged in since he’d woken up. Had Loki switched off the alarm in the machine, or something?
“Fuck. I told you about him, didn’t I? I was supposed to be dying.” Being touched by Loki felt so good it was scary. What if he liked it so much that he’d look for another guy after Loki died? Though just the thought of Loki’s dark eyes going dull, all light leaving them, caused an unpleasant ache somewhere inside.
Maybe he needed to promise himself to get an actual girlfriend? Problem was that as much as he loved pussy, tits, the sway of female hips, the way girls moaned, lost control, how their makeup smeared his skin, the flowery scent of their hair… he never connected with women on the same level he did with guys. He was at ease with men. He didn’t have to be cocky or pretend anything. They wanted him the way he was.
Loki loved him the way he was. Didn’t mock his sob story about falling in love with a guy who never loved him back. Despite all the bullshit that had gone down between them, Loki was at his bedside at the hospital.
Loki nodded. His voice sounded so soft with the background of the furious beeping. “Don’t worry. I won’t ever tell anyone. It’s okay.”
“His father would kill me if he knew that I thought of his son that way.” Red Jack sighed and let his head fall back to the pillow. There was a new lightness in his heart now that he’d told someone about Keith, about his inner battle. And if Loki was to die, there was no real risk for the secret coming out. Though it would be sad to see the guy go. Even if he was mental. Maybe it was the tumor that got him that way. Then again, maybe it was for the better? They could now truly indulge in each other without worrying about breaking up.
“Does that matter?” Loki put his head on the side of Red Jack’s chest.
“Considering his dad is our sergeant-at-arms, then yeah, it matters. Don’t wanna die a long and painful death.” Red Jack laughed but bit the inside of his cheek as the pain in his stomach intensified.
“He won’t know.” Loki brushed the back of his hand across Red Jack’s cheek. “You still remember him well...”
“He was with me when my family didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore.”
Loki sighed. “And he? Did he suck your cock?”
“God, no! I wish.” Red Jack covered his face with his hand. He never thought he’d be talking about this to someone. “We just jerked each other off a few times… But we had this spark, you know?”
“Yeah,” Loki said softly, and his gaze was enough to give Red Jack a chill. There was so much dedication in those black eyes.
“You are gonna give me so many blow jobs for this.” Red Jack pointed to his side.
“They’ll be so good you’ll never forget about me.”
Red Jack sighed, not really wanting to discuss this anymore. “So what’s next on that bucket list of yours?”
Loki’s eyes lit up, and he lowered his brows with a predatory smile. “Fuck Red Jack’s juicy freckled ass.”
Red Jack moaned when tension gripped his insides so hard it hurt. Loki might not be as big as him, but he sure could be a scary fucker with those scars on his face and eyes that bore into your soul. Especially when Red Jack’s ass was under discussion. “Nope, that’s number ten, asshole, so you better not die ’til we get to it,” he said, even though he hadn’t really decided on letting Loki fuck him. The whole idea of a dick up his ass unnerved him. Not just because of the physical aspect, but the fact that he didn’t want to give anyone so much power over him. Red Jack had seen some nasty shit in juvie, and boys didn’t hold hands and kiss. They grabbed the one they wanted, held him down, and used him. That was only the start of it. You had no respect once you got fucked once, and you’d never get it back.
Then again, his attitude toward Loki had changed. Red Jack didn’t just treat him like a cheap fuck. There was a tenderness to the way they touched. Red Jack had even kissed Loki’s chest, his nipples, and day by day considered going lower with his lips. He didn’t even know what to call what they did anymore, but it certainly wasn’t just about sex.
Chapter 15
Jack’s closeness had Loki on the edge. He wanted to take his hand off the steering wheel and put it on Jack’s thigh. The denim would be warm from the body it was covering and from soaking up the sun as they drove back from the hospital after two days of Jack’s treatment. Loki was tired from sleeping in the car, but he’d never leave Jack alone in the hospital, especially since he was the one who shot him. What had he been thinking? Now that the anger had evaporated, he couldn’t get his head around the fact that he had pulled the trigger. He did want Jack to hurt, but there were safer ways to make that happen.