Jack hissed and pushed the hand away with trembling fingers. “Hurts like a motherfucker. I’m sorry I hit you… My club is everything to me. I panicked.”
Loki leaned in, and his warm, salty lips moved against Jack’s. “Don’t die...”
“You’re the one who shot me.” Red Jack tried to get to his knees again, but he just couldn’t do it. He’d be fine lying on the rough wood as long as Loki keeps him warm. “You’ve got more balls than I thought.”
“I still want you to suck them,” muttered Loki, and he fished the cell phone out of his pocket.
Red Jack moaned. Every breath hurt, but he still wanted to waste it on talking to Loki. Never before did he have such connection to someone who he fucked as well, and now it would all go to waste because of his anger outburst. “I lied. There was a guy I wanted to suck once.”
Loki’s eyes opened wide, but then he needed to talk to the 911 operator. A gunshot wound in the stomach. Bleeding. Please, hurry. As he spoke, his gaze never once strayed from Jack, his eyes wide and bright. “What?” he asked eventually, after ending the call.
“There was this boy I met in juvie.” Jack had never told this to anyone, but since he was dying anyway, he supposed it couldn’t hurt any more than the hole in his body did. “We stuck together in there, and then outside as well. We jerked each other off a few times while watching porn, and then never talked about it.” His memory drifted off to Keith’s crooked smile. Girls loved the guy, and Jack gained so much confidence around him.
Loki swallowed and leaned over him. The mass of his dark hair covered their faces as Loki pressed his cheek against Jack’s. “You loved him?”
Jack swallowed, annoyed by the itching in his eyes more than by the life dripping out of his body. “I think I did. I’d do anything for him. Only guy I ever wanted to suck off. He was so fuckin’ dreamy.” He took a deep breath, but only started coughing because of it. “He got shot when we were both prospecting for the Nails.”
Loki sniffed and held Jack tighter. He smelled of beer and blood, and at this moment it was the sweetest combination. “Did he die?”
Tears dripped down Red Jack’s cheeks, but he couldn’t even be embarrassed anymore. “Took him three days to die, and I never told him I— loved him.” Even now it was hard to choke out the l-word, but he did in the end. Despite the pain in his body, he felt a giant pressure ease in his chest, almost as if he had been walking with an iron weight all this time, and now Loki took it away, letting Jack breathe.
“I’m so sorry... it should have been me bleeding out,” whispered Loki, brushing his lips against Jack’s cheek. He gently curled his fingers around Jack’s, covering him with his warm body.
Jack bit his lip when another stab of pain went through him. He never imagined himself dying this way. Not shot, he gave 70% chance to that, but with someone actually next to him, holding his hand. Loving him. No matter how fucked up it was that it was Loki who shot him, at least it was a crime of passion, not a fight over cargo. He closed his eyes and squeezed Loki’s fingers as hard as he could. And it scared him that his grip was weak as a child’s.
“Don’t die. I’ll shoot myself if you do,” whispered Loki, and the promise was like a caress, even if it spoke of yet another horrible thing. It gave Jack some comfort to see that he had made himself likable, even if just this once.
Chapter 14
Red Jack opened one eye. Then the other. A constant beeping next to him, and the fresh, sterile smell was nothing like home. His whole chest ached. His back was sore, and his fingers numb. Red Jack tried to speak, but all that came out was a rasp. A warm hand squeezed his fingers, and moments later, he met the familiar depths of Loki’s black eyes.
“Jack? You want water?”
He flinched, but it only made him ache more. “Fuck…”
Loki slid his forearm under the back of Red Jack’s neck and raised his head, while gently putting a plastic cup against his dry lips. “I’m sorry... are you very angry?”
As Loki leaned closer, the beeping to the side of the bed sped up. “Wh—what happened?” Everything was a blur in Red Jack’s fuzzy mind, but he drank the water with relief.
Loki’s breath shuddered. “The truth, or what I told the police? You remember...?”
All of a sudden, Red Jack’s memory got sharper edges. “You shot me.” He frowned and looked around the hospital bed. How was he still alive? He vaguely remembered a stern face looming over him and himself mumbling answers. He’s my cousin. Don’t call anyone else.