Jack finally looked into Loki's eyes. "I'm losing my head because of you." And despite the way he worded that sentence, it felt more like a confession than an attempt to lay the blame on Loki.
Loki froze, staring up at Jack. His head throbbed with the need to do... something, but he kept it all inside, until he felt hot wetness trail down his lips.
"Hey, what is it?" Jack quickly cupped his face. "Do you feel okay? Should I call a cop?" But all Loki needed was feeling those big, calloused fingers on his skin. He covered Jack's hands and tilted back his head to stop more blood from trickling down his face.
"You like me?"
Jack sighed, as if what he was about to say was bad news. "I like you a lot. Everything is different with you around."
Loki wheezed and kissed Jack's wet, cold knuckles. There it was, a declaration he'd always wanted to hear. So why did it feel so bitter, even with the warmth of joy spreading through his chest? "I like you, too."
Jack frowned, but nudged Loki's nose with his fingers. "Last time, you said you love me?"
Loki pulled up his shirt and wiped away the blood with the hem. Jack had been frozen with fear on the way here, but now he seemed composed, ready to take danger head on. For Loki, this kind of behavior was so alien in a boyfriend that he didn't know what to say.
Instead, he smiled. "I do."
Jack swallowed, his eyes wide and soft. "I never thought it could be like this with a guy … "
Loki exhaled and stepped close, resting his cheek on Jack's arm. "Me neither," he whispered.
Jack gently petted Loki's head. "I can be myself with you in a way I never know how to with girls."
Loki chuckled and slid his hands around Jack's waist, eager to just melt into his firm muscle. "You treat me so well."
"Do I?" Jack shook his head with a lost expression. "I'm sorry I hit you."
Loki shrugged, breathing in the leathery scent of Jack's cut. "You're so different than my other boyfriends. You take responsibility."
"I bet that Richard guy was responsible. He had a career, and all that," Jack mumbled.
"Nah, he was a fucking douchebag. He just wanted other people to think he was all that." Loki frowned and nuzzled Jack's arm. "Everything was always my fault, including his problems at work."
"You said it yourself, I'm not a good guy. I bet you wouldn't be behind bars now if it wasn't for me."
"I would stay here, if it meant you wouldn't have to worry about the police. I can see you're worried," Loki whispered, squeezing Jack's hand, which was oddly cold.
Jack rubbed his forehead and his frown deepened. "I just keep thinking about your illness, and that you could have died in that car, and the last thing between us would've been ‘fuck you'. And now your nose is bleeding again, and I need you out of here, not stressing out over this. Fuck."
Loki bit into his bottom lip, blinking away the wetness that suddenly flooded his eyes. He'd wanted a connection such as this his entire life, yet now it felt bittersweet. He'd broken into Jack's life, got what he wanted, but what would happen to Jack when Loki died? He hadn't thought of that. Before, his thinking only went as far as having someone love and pamper him on his death bed. The fate of that person - irrelevant. He wasn't even sure what he had hoped for when he decided to make the redhaired douchebag fall for him, and now it seemed like such a selfish thing to do.
"I'm fine."
Jack wiped the tears off Loki's cheeks. "You're not fine. I'll call Sam to come and get you out of here. You're ill. He'll take you to our house, and you can pay him back with my money. You just go lie down, and they'll probably let me out in the morning. It's like a free hotel, right? Fuckin' couchsurfing with the cops." He let out a laugh, but his face was tense.
Loki hugged him tight, overwhelmed by the need to be close. Our house, Jack had said. Loki had no idea when it had happened, but Jack had unlocked something that Loki didn't know he had, a tenderness he never before wanted to express. And now, he was more worried about Jack than he was about himself. "Wouldn't it be better if I stayed here?"
"In no world are you staying locked up here for the night alone." Jack shook his head and walked over to the bars. He banged on them before Loki could get a word in.
Loki gasped and touched Jack's back. "What about you? They were fucking cunts to you."
"Guess that's what I get for being a fag." Jack took a deep breath and put his head against one of the bars.
Loki exhaled, stunned by Jack's honesty. "I mean... you're clearly bisexual... and even if, they still have no right," said Loki, even though he knew that nothing in the world worked like it should in theory. He knew that all too well.
"I've had worse from cops. I'll be all right. I just wish … we'd waited to get home."
Loki couldn't argue with that. He gently squeezed Jack's fingers but stepped away when he heard footsteps approaching.
It was a different policeman this time, but just like the others he let his eyes linger on the patches at the front of Jack's vest.
"What is it?"
"I'm allowed a call, right? Still waitin'."
The policeman glared at Red Jack, but pulled out the keys to the cell. "Make it quick."
Chapter 24
Loki did get released, and the hours since Sam had come for him were dragging in the lonely cell, but at least Red Jack knew Loki was safe and recovering. Everything else was a blur now. Sam not meeting Red Jack's gaze, stupid comments from the police, being seen as a fag, Loki getting a headache and real bad nausea …
When keys rattled against the door down the corridor, Red Jack stiffened and sat down on the bench in the cell, trying to look relaxed, but he was listening to every single step, assessing the weight and age of the officer coming his way. He swallowed as the brisk, energetic footsteps came closer, culminating in him seeing the slim feet on the other side of the bars.
"The lewd conduct charge doesn't really surprise me, but a guy? And I thought I knew you so well, Jack. You'll fuck anything that moves, won't you?"
Red Jack smirked and looked up at the tan face of Deputy Paxton. She was wearing jeans and a bomber jacket, her hair gathered into a slightly greasy ponytail. She'd obviously been called over in the middle of the night because of him.
Red Jack shrugged, trying to keep up appearances as they crumbled around him. "A mouth's a mouth, you know? I was a bit drunk. I'd probably even do you when I'm drunk. Okay, I'd probably drink a few more," he added, purposefully gliding his gaze over her legs.
Paxton sighed and leaned against the bars, watching him from behind her thick eyelashes. "Jack, you know I reviewed the recording, right? I'm not here to let you make yourself look like an idiot."
Red Jack stiffened, his neck swelling around his throat as if his own body wanted to strangle him. A recording? When? This was exactly what he never needed. Paxton seeing him suck dick. He couldn't bear the humiliation, so he looked ahead at the wall with a half smile that even to him felt a bit tight and fake. What exactly had been recorded? The very end? Jack on his knees, sucking cum out of Loki's ass? It was only by sheer will that he kept his hands from shaking.
Paxton sighed. "You know, I always thought you're a selfish prick, so I'm really surprised you helped that boy get out early. It kinda explains why you hate women so much."
Red Jack bristled. "I don't hate women," he hissed without looking at her. He did hate Paxton's guts though. Always up in his face just ‘cause she had a fucking badge. The clusterfuck with her sister had happened three years ago, and it wasn't his fault that the bitch got hooked on biker dick. Then again, his cock was kind of amazing, so it was partially his fault.
"Right," she said in that mocking voice he'd love to just strangle out of her.
"And I didn't help him. He has cancer, I don't."
"And he didn't go home alone."
"His car was in a fuckin' accident, so someone had to take him." Red Jack finally looked into her eyes, trying to will her away.
"Are you hungry?" she asked out of the blue, completely throwing Red Jack off guard.
He frowned. "No." What the fuck was this bullshit about?
She shrugged and pulled out a paper bag from her jacket. She opened it and bit into a fresh-looking croissant. "Just thought I'd share. You must be hungry after helping out your boyfriend on the hood of his car. So attentive. He's lucky to have you."