Red Hot(Sex & Mayhem #5)(103)

Jack looked up to Monster. “Yeah, like Borg is gonna let this fly.”

Monster sipped more soda. “Borg doesn’t need to know.”

“We can’t kill Paxton. Another pig sniffed us out, and I don’t know who has the damn vid.”

Monster squeezed the can and dumped it to the floor. “Red, you didn’t let them dispose of me when everyone thought I was the rat. I’m not gonna let you die either,” he said calmly, stepping closer. He looked like a weird knight/cyborg hybrid.

Jack’s nostrils flared. He looked up, reached out for Monster's hand, and got pulled up. "Thanks. She gave me forty-eight hours, so we still have something like twenty to fix this shit. Somehow."

Loki exhaled and grabbed Jack’s hand as his legs refused to move. He couldn’t believe Jack wanted to just disappear out of his life, just leave him now, at the very end, without even trying to stay.

“Maybe let’s get this Richard bullshit sorted out first, so it’s out of the way? The nerve of that guy, to come to the club… Seriously.” Jack shook his head and helped Loki up but quickly pulled his hand away.

Monster nodded. “Twenty hours is plenty. We’ll take my car.”

Jack snorted as he put on his T-shirt and jacket. “You came in the rape van?”

Monster frowned at him, walking up to the ladder. “It’s a murder van.”

Loki cleared his throat and looked at his feet, trying not to let his confusion and anger show. He must have looked lost, because Jack was quick to fill him in.

“Once, I heard this chick screaming and crying inside, so I, like, burst in there to save her from God-knows-what was going on there, and there he was, pouring wax over her pussy.”

Loki flinched, but Monster only rolled his eyes and climbed upstairs. “Ladies have their needs.”

Jack looked up to make sure Monster was gone and gave Loki a quick kiss before climbing up as well.

“You dick,” whispered Loki, following him. “Should have told me.”

He didn’t get an answer though. Jack took two guns, his vest, and they were out the door in silence.

The car really looked like a ‘rape van’. Old, slightly rusty on one side, and without any windows at the back. It was the same car they’d used to deal with Ted, and Loki wondered whether the bloodstains were still there. He sat in the foldable seat in the back and looked toward Jack, who climbed in after him and sat in the seat next to Loki. Now at least they could talk without a witness.

“Promise me that whatever happens, you’ll stay out of harm’s way,” Jack whispered as Monster started the car.

Loki grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “Nothing’s gonna happen. You’re staying with me,” he uttered, weaker than he intended. The thought of losing Jack, of Jack dying and disappearing in some unmarked grave nauseated him. He shuddered, hit by a new thought that squashed his insides like a monster truck. “It wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t come after you...”

Jack sighed and nudged him with his thumb. “That’s what I get for hanging out with a crazy stalker.” He was making it sound like a joke, but Jack getting murdered wasn’t funny in any way.

Loki squeezed Jack’s hand tighter, looking at him in the near-darkness, with light touching the edges of his beard and one brilliantly blue eye. He couldn’t breathe. “It’s all my fault. I’m dying anyway, and I still made you love me. I’m such a selfish prick...”

Jack looked at their shoes, and the hint of smile was gone. “It was your bucket list wish…”

“But it’s your life. I had no right, even if I thought you were a douchebag. And now I’m gonna leave you, and you’re gonna be alone again, and I still want you to miss me, even if it’s wrong,” whispered Loki, pushing his face against Jack’s shoulder. His eyes were already watering, and it was no use trying to stop them.

“And I will…” Jack stroked Loki’s hair in the most gentle way. “But at least I would have felt the big L, right?”

“You’d have been happier without that.” Loki shuddered against Jack, inhaling the familiar, musky scent of his lover’s skin. “I thought you’d kill me that night when I shot you. You should have done that. You should have drowned me in the ocean. I’m practically dead anyway, and now I’m dragging you with me into the grave. You don’t deserve this...”

“It’s too late now. If I survive, I’ll be a good Nail. I’ll have a heart of stone.” Jack pressed a kiss to Loki’s temple.

Loki gritted his teeth and hugged him as hard as he could when his heart imploded into a black hole that sucked in all the joy he’d felt that last day. “I love you so much. I really do. I’m sorry, Jack.”