“Are you really going to watch that?” Max’s groggy voice interrupted the string of verbal abuse coming from the television.
“I don’t think so,” I replied. “I just wanted to know why she hit him.”
“That’s how they get you.” He rolled over on the couch and covered his head with a pillow. “At least turn it down.”
“You have a room.” I pointed to the side opposite of my room. “With a bed and everything.”
“Can’t. I’m waiting on a phone call.” His voice was muffled. “If I go to my room I won’t wake up for it.”
“Who is calling you this late?”
“’Merica.” The word was garbled.
“Who?” I frowned.
“America.” Sitting up, he threw the pillow on the floor. “You’re not going to let me sleep, are you?”
“Nope.” I shook my head and passed him the fruit tray. “Who is calling you from America?”
“Bird crap.” He grabbed a couple of apple slices.
“Bird crap is calling you from America?” I giggled.
“Ha ha. Dork. People are calling me about bird crap. Future Bird Trust. Blah, blah, blah.” He stretched. “Something about starting an American branch.”
“Can’t Chadwick handle that?” I bit into another grape.
“I wish. It’s the president’s wife, which means she needs to speak to someone other than an assistant. Though Chadwick could tell her more about that stuff than I can. It’s just a formality at this point.” He frowned at his apple. “What is it they call her? The first lady? What would they call the husband of a president? The first man? That sounds idiotic. Hello, I’d like to introduce you to Bob, the first man.”
“It is a bit silly, but I can see why they need a title.” I shrugged. “It’s a little harder when you don’t have royalty, huh?”
“Right. Because that makes life so much easier.” He bit into his apple. “I hope Sam comes back knocked up.”
I choked on my water and had to wipe up the little that dribbled down my chin. “What? Why?”
“Put that crown a little further away from me.” He smiled. “The last thing I want to ever be is king.”
“Um, I’m pretty sure that Sam isn’t ready to be a mom yet.” I frowned. “In fact, I’d be surprised if she didn’t have an entire suitcase of birth control packed and next to their bed.”
He snorted. “She’ll be a great mom. And the kid would be cute. Even if Alex is the dad.” Old habits like picking on your sibling died hard, no matter how old you were.
“No doubt. I’d love to be an aunt.” I smiled thinking about it. “Now I’m going to have aunt fever.”
“Is that like baby fever?”
“Yeah, but when you can give the baby back to the parents.”
“I like that idea. I can’t imagine being a parent. Can you? We don’t have any time to ourselves now. It would be hellish to have to split the little bit we do have with another living, breathing, needy thing.”
“Wow.” I shook my head. “Let’s hope you don’t knock anyone up any time soon.”
“Let’s hope I don’t knock anyone up ever.” He shook his head. “I honestly can’t imagine passing all of this baggage on to someone else.”
I sat there stunned for a minute. Sure, I had thought about having children before, but hadn’t really thought about the fact that they would have to go through what I had. Then again, they would be further removed from the crown than Max and I. It wouldn’t be quite so bad.
“It’s what you make of it.” I shrugged. “If you do have kids, it doesn’t mean they have to be in the spotlight. The world is changing. You could make sure they had a normal childhood.”
“Our children will never have a normal childhood.” He looked at me with pity.
“Well, no one is really normal, now are they?” I picked up the remote and flipped through the channels. I didn’t want to continue that conversation. Having a child was a part of a normal life I wanted for myself. “Oh! Zombies.”
“Great. Phone calls, babies, and now zombies. My own personal horror movie.” Max leaned back on the couch.
I threw a grape at him. “It’s your fault I like them.”
“I’ll always regret that.” He picked up the grape and ate it.
“Ew. You don’t know whose butt has been on that couch.” My nose wrinkled in horror.
“And I don’t care.” He smiled. “Good grape.”
Shaking my head, I turned back to the TV and watched as the hero used a bow and arrows to take out a stampede of the undead. Now this was a good way to relax after a long day.