I couldn’t stop the sharp intake of breath or the way my body froze in shock. It wasn’t that I hadn’t done the same thing myself before, but it was entirely different to have it done by someone else. I tensed, unsure if I liked the sensation or not. It was different and slightly uncomfortable.
“Cathy?” David pulled back and looked at me, worry creasing his brow.
“Yes?” I took a deep breath and tried to not look relieved when he pulled his hand away.
“Are you . . . is this your first time?” His voice sounded odd, surprise laced with frustration.
My heart stopped in my chest as I looked at his face. What had I done wrong that he had figured it out?
SEVEN
I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING at first. I didn’t know how to respond. Was it really a bad thing that I was a virgin? That I hadn’t taken that step yet?
“Does it matter?” I fought the urge to cover myself up.
“Of course it matters.” Sitting up, he ran a hand through his hair.
“Why?” I sat up and pulled a pillow over my chest. Shame was beginning to smother the flames of lust.
“You can’t—you shouldn’t just give that away.” He stood up and pulled his pants on. His excitement was still evident, even though anger laced his words. “That’s reckless!”
“It’s mine, isn’t it? I can do whatever the hell I want to with it!” I stood up and pulled the blanket with me so it saved the little bit of modesty I had left.
“Why the hell would you give it to me?” He held his arms open.
What was I supposed to say? That he had made me laugh? That he had treated me like a normal person? Or how about the fact that just the sight of him made me want to pant? I couldn’t tell him that. I still couldn’t believe I’d gotten him into my bed at all. And now . . .
Now it was all falling apart. Turning into the worst nightmare ever. Well, no, that wasn’t quite true. At least I knew he wouldn’t sell the story to tabloids.
Sam would kill him and find a swamp to hide his mangled body.
But here I was, naked in front of a man that I wanted, and he was rejecting me. Shame burned through my body and tears rushed to my eyes.
“Cathy.” He took a step forward and I took one in retreat. “I’m just saying that this isn’t something you should just give away. If you’ve waited this long it should be with someone that is special.”
“I’ve waited long enough to know that I will likely end up with someone that only wants me for what I can give them.” My voice rose and I stomped to the door. “You were different! I thought you just wanted me.”
“I did!” He reached for my arm but I shook him off.
“I didn’t realize that my virginity would be so damn disgusting.”
“It’s not—”
“Look, don’t worry about it. I’m leaving.” I opened the door and started to walk out.
“No!” He took three steps forward and pushed the door closed. “You’re not going out there like that.” If I hadn’t known better I would have thought his words had seemed possessive.
I looked at him confused, unsure why he would care if I left, until I realized I was still wrapped in the blanket. And then to my utter embarrassment I realized it was my room.
“Get out.” I jerked the material closer.
“Fine.” He picked up his shirt. “But this isn’t over, Cathy. We’re going to talk.”
“Not likely.” I turned my face away from him, scared that he would see the tears gathered in my eyes.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” He pulled his shirt back on before letting his arms hang limply at his sides.
“Just go.” I shook my head. Nothing he said was going to make any of this better.
“I’m leaving, but for what it’s worth I did want you for you.” He started to say something and then thought better of it. “Good night.”
He pulled the door shut behind him and I leaned against the wall. Hot tears ran down my cheeks and I gripped the blanket tighter around me. Humiliation flowed over my body and I couldn’t believe I had actually tried to seduce someone and he had run from me faster than a kid from a haunted house.
Walking to the en suite I dropped the blanket and turned on the shower. If I was going to be this miserable I might as well drown my mortification under the rain showerhead.
What was I supposed to do with myself at this point? I wasn’t interested in sex anymore, which was for sure. Was I supposed to just get dressed and crawl back into bed? After the shower I threw on some of my most comfortable nightclothes and sat down on the small couch in the corner and opened my laptop. There was no way I was going to get any sleep at this point, so I decided I’d get a jump on things for tomorrow.