Reckless In Love(55)

"It was never your job to find their solution for them." She ran her  strong, yet gentle, hands down his arms. "They had to find it for  themselves, and they never could. They might never have been capable of  it."         

     



 

He'd never wanted to admit the painful truth that some people simply  didn't have the strength to change. People like Bob and Susan had just  as many trials in their lives, but they'd never given up. But his  parents hadn't even tried.

"They did one thing right, Sebastian. They helped make you who you are.  Between them, they raised a man who has the strength, the passion, and  the heart of ten men."

"That was Susan and Bob and the rest of the Mavericks." He wanted  nothing more than to wrap her tightly in his arms, but he had so much to  confess before he could do that. "I tried to do the same with your  mother. New doctors, new treatments, as if I had the power to change  everything for her."

"I love that you wanted to try. But after we've done everything we can,  we have to accept things the way they are and make the most of what we  have. I love you for your empathy." As if she'd had a sudden painful  thought, she stiffened slightly against him. "I'm so sorry I made it  sound like everything was your fault. It isn't. Not even close. I was  wrong for fighting you about contributing to Magnolia Gardens."

He ran his fingers through her hair. "I understand your need to take  care of that yourself. I pushed all the parties and the commissions  because it seemed like the only thing I could do for you."

She rested her hand on his chest, her fingers stroking lightly. "I know.  And I was afraid of letting you take over, as if I'd lose my  independence." She shrugged. "I've always taken care of my own  responsibilities, so it was hard to accept anything from you. But I was  wrong. I told you I loved you, but I never turned my whole heart over to  you. I was always holding something back, because-" This time she was  the one swallowing hard. "It's the same reason I thought I should drop  teaching when my art career started to take off-because it's the  reasonable, streamlined thing to do. I mean, why would anyone keep a  lower-paying job when every hour she spends making sculptures can earn  so much more? But I've realized that's who I am. Someone who does things  that don't make sense to everyone else, who tosses together those  jumbled pieces of life in weird ways no one else could imagine. But it  works for me. If I ever tried to change who I am, I'd only be destroying  an important part of myself." She trembled in his arms. "Can all those  jumbled-up, junkyard pieces of me be good enough for you?"

"Yes, damn it." It killed him that she needed to ask. Didn't she know  that she was everything to him, exactly the way she was? "You're the  best person I've ever met, the most amazing woman I've ever known." He  grabbed the clipboard and this time he made her look at it.

In the sketch, she wore her face shield, her gloves, her smock, her  boots. The sparks of her torch flew out all around her, almost like a  halo. The lines of the horse she worked on weren't perfect. They were a  work in progress. And he saw something he hadn't known he'd added until  she made him look. The face shield's reflection showed lines that  weren't there yet, the perfect lines that were still in Charlie's head,  lines that would eventually grace the horse itself. Because Charlie  could fix anything.

"Do you see?" His whisper was gentle, but firm. Determined. For the  first time ever, he could see one of his own drawings with total  clarity. "Whatever you set out to do, you truly make the imperfect  extraordinary. Not perfect, but amazing all the same." He put his hand  under her chin to make her look at him. "How could I not love you? How  could you ever think you weren't good enough for me?"

She was silent for a long moment, before she finally said, "I wasn't  listening to all the things both of us were too afraid to say to each  other. But they were there all along and I'm listening now, Sebastian."  Her voice beat inside him, became a part of him the way she would always  be a part of him. "I wish you'd told me about your drawings, what your  father did. It explains so much. He was the one who made you feel you  had to be perfect, that your art had to be. And he made you think that  the truth you tell in your drawings is bad, when the exact opposite is  true."

He nuzzled her hair. "I'm sorry. You asked, and I tried to pretend it  wasn't a big deal. But I will always tell you everything. No more  secrets. No more hiding. And I'll always listen."

"Then let me tell you what I'm going to do," she pushed on in a low,  seductive, mesmerizing tone. "I'm going to teach my classes in the fall.  I'm going to put the other commissions on hold while I finish the  chariot race for your building's grand opening."         

     



 

His blood pulsed wildly. "And then?"

"Remember, I'm a Zanti Misfit. With me, you have to expect the  unexpected. So after our grand unveiling, I want to wing it." She smiled  her gorgeous, beguiling smile. "Being without a plan and letting the  unexpected happen won't send our lives down the tubes. In fact,  something tells me that's when things are going to become more magical  than ever. You see, I've decided to stay for keeps. You're not getting  rid of me. And we'll figure out how to make this work. Together."

She leaned close to brush her mouth across his. She couldn't know how  he'd longed for that when he believed he'd never feel the sweet caress  of her lips again.

Lord, he wanted nothing more than to take everything she was  offering-her complete and unconditional love. And yet, beneath  everything, there was still that one unavoidable fact. His way of life  was toxic to her, and he'd never forgive himself if he continued to hurt  her.

So instead of losing himself in her kiss-in her-he forced himself to  speak the truth. "What if I do it again? What if I push too hard? What  if I hurt you?"

Always doing the unexpected, she smiled. "We're both clear that I don't  want to be the glitter girl you want me to be. But I do want you. And I  get that figuring it all out might be messy. It won't always be easy to  decide where I should draw the line on my junk and where you should draw  the line on your parties." She pressed a finger to his lips when he  began to open his mouth. "And you aren't like your parents, craving the  next party. For you, there's a purpose for it."

No, he definitely didn't crave it the way he craved Charlie, her touch, her kiss, her.

She gave a delicate shrug of her shoulders. "But life and love can be  messy and hard. That doesn't mean we chuck it in. We aren't Whitney and  Evan. We certainly aren't your parents. We're strong enough to keep at  it until we find the right compromise." She barely took a breath as she  said, "We won't always be perfect, but we can make this work. We can be  magnificent, because what we have is the best thing I've ever known. You  are the best man I'll ever know. And I refuse to give up on you. So are  you going to give me up without a fight? Or are you going to walk the  mile right beside me every step of the way, no matter how hard it is?"

He felt what she was saying deep in his marrow. Come on, baby, fight for me like I'm fighting for you.

His parents had never fought for each other. But he and Charlie weren't  his parents, damn it. With her by his side every single step of the way,  the ghosts of his past couldn't have power over him. Not when her love  for him-and his for her-was a billion times stronger than anything else  in the world.

"I told myself I needed to let you go. That it was the only way to keep  you safe. To make you happy. But damn it, I could never have done it."  He framed her delicate face in his hands. Except that there was nothing  delicate about Charlie. She was strong, independent, talented, stubborn.  And she was perfectly imperfect. He loved her more than anything in the  world. "I'll never stop fighting for you, Charlie. And I'll never stop  loving you. Not for one single second. No matter what."

Then he lowered his mouth to hers, sealing his promise with a long, slow, lusciously sweet kiss.





CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE


It was the most decadent kiss Charlie had ever tasted, and overflowing  with hope. When he lifted her into his arms to carry her out of his  office and into his bedroom, she deepened the kiss until her heart beat  recklessly.

Their kiss was gentle and rough all at once, sweet and desperate. They  rolled over on the bed until she was straddling him, and he reached up  to smooth her hair back as it fell in a curtain over them. "I believe in  love," he said softly. "And I've loved you from the very first moment."  His gaze roamed her face like a touch. "But I grew up believing love  wasn't enough."

She leaned her forehead against his. "It can be."