She kissed the side of his head. “You’re special, Jack. You’re an accomplished chef and entrepreneur; you help out your family when they need it. And you’re continuing your mother’s work.” His idea to move forward with the foundation was a wonderful way of soothing his guilt.
“I just don’t want who I am to overshadow the good that my family can do. Maybe I shouldn’t be the face of the foundation.”
His aversion to being in the spotlight made sense. He’d been burned by gossip vultures looking for the next scandal.
“Once people realize what the foundation is all about, you won’t matter.” She smiled. “You’re not all that.”
His body shook with a light laugh. “All this work, and then I’ll be gone. Leaving it all behind.”
She couldn’t argue with him there. He was leaving. But didn’t he realize that everything he did when it came to his businesses was to benefit the foundation? She hugged him tight. “You’re allowed to have your own life, Jack.”
She let go as he turned slightly, and she leaned to look in his eyes. “No woman has taken the time to get to know me, Sterling. Not like you. They all just want the fantasy.”
He was so much more than just a fantasy. What she wouldn’t give to be in his life permanently. She started this journey with him one hundred percent sure she wanted nothing to do with a relationship, but the more time she spent with Jack, the stronger her belief in a happily ever after grew.
Silence fell between them. It was a meaningful pause—a game-changing pause.
She opened her mouth to speak, but the words evaded her. How did she tell him? Where did she even begin?
“Your turn. Spill.”
Sterling hesitated. Jack just liked her as Exciting Sterling, the woman he could bring to new heights and teach new things. He didn’t want her reality. Her boring financial problems. Her messed-up family. Even if he might understand, there was no way she deserved his sympathy. His pity. She couldn’t take that right now. She needed a distracting story.
She leaned back, unwrapping herself from his body. “What’s to spill? I wasn’t good enough so my boyfriend dumped me for my former best friend.” Those words were like poison. Still, one year later, was she ever going to find a day when she didn’t feel so disgusted?
He straightened and forced her to look into his eyes. “I don’t want to hear you talk like that.”
She jumped off the bike and turned her back to him.
“Tom and I were perfect—same interests, same goals.” Anger coursed through her. She wanted to punch something. Her fists were ready, tense at her sides.
“He stifled you.” It wasn’t a question.
She scoffed. “What do you know?”
“I know enough. Why else would you be looking for some fun?”
He was right again. Sterling hated that.
“On paper he was perfect, I bet.” He paused. “Whereas I would be…”
Sterling whipped around and caught his stare. “Just as perfect.”
His expression didn’t change but his eyes dimmed at her comment. Did he not believe her?
She rushed over to him, grabbing on to his hands. “Jack…” How did she explain that he was everything she had been looking for? Her perfect-on-paper fiancé never gave her the burning desire that Jack elicited with a simple glance. He never made her feel worthy of time spent. It took the bad boy to make her feel like she mattered, to make her feel wanted. It took the bad boy to make her feel loved.
Holy hell. She loved him. Head-over-heels-I-don’t-want-you-to-leave love. But he was something she could never keep for herself.
“It’s not what’s on paper that matters. Real love is all the things that don’t show up on that list.” She squeezed his hands. “They’re the things that matter most. You taught me that. You helped me figure out the qualities that don’t appear on my list.”
He smiled. She only hoped she got through to him.
“You figured those out all by yourself.” He pulled his hand from hers and cupped her cheek. “But no one has the right to hold you back. Paper-perfect or not.”
“Ha. My list was pretty boring until you came along. I probably held myself back.” She turned her back to him and stared across the open space to the buildings. “I’m the boring, uptight, librarian type.”
“You are far from boring. I don’t know any librarians who look as good as you do in lingerie. And as for uptight…we’re loosening you up one day at a time.”
She’d done pretty damn good work on the loosening up part.
Sterling smiled and turned. He stared at her, desire ripening his eyes. She knew that look. Their heavy conversation was just about to turn into some heavy petting.