MATT
I kept my eye on her the whole time I sat there eating my ice cream. She was a bit skittish in her movements and seemed overly cautious and aware. In the hour we sat there I noticed how quiet she seemed and also that people seemed to like her. Her smile as rare as it is was beautiful and made that hitch in my heart hurt more. Sitting there I finally allowed myself to accept the truth. I was attracted to her in a big fucking way; no amount of hiding or denying was going to change that shit. “Fuck me running bro, what the fuck?”
Josh looked at me with a ‘what now’ look on his face. I think I felt a little trepidation at the situation. I wasn’t afraid of what I was beginning to feel, but I was just a little wary. It was too soon after the betrayal. Hadn’t I told myself that I wouldn’t ever do this shit again? And besides this girl looked like fucking trouble, there was definitely something going on with her, but what? Josh kicked me under the table to get my attention. I’d wandered off in my head again, something I found myself doing more and more where this girl was concerned.
“What’s up Matt?” I kept my eyes trained on her as she moved around the room.
“I don’t want to do this shit bro.”
“Bro you’ve been driving around town trying to pick up her scent. You’ve already got it bad.”
“You make me sound like a wild animal or some shit.”
“Well if the claws fit.”
“I don’t know bro, I’m not too jazzed about putting myself out there again. And she seems to have some fuck wrong with her.”
“Perfect, then you can both mend each other; I don’t see the problem.”
I decided to ignore his ass as I ate my ice cream, he was no help whatsoever since he had love and happily ever after on the brain. The dumbass kept dropping hints about what I should do to move things along as he swore I was already hooked. I wasn’t, not by a long shot. It would take more than a pretty face and a grade A ass to pull me in. But those eyes fuck; I think she’s going to get me with the eyes. I have always been a sucker for a damsel in distress.
The prick at the next table was following her with his eyes but I noticed she was steering clear. Why the fact that he was looking should bother me was anyone’s guess. Make up your mind Matt, either you’re in or you’re not you can’t have it both ways.
“Bro there’s steam coming out your ears, if you want her go get her before that fucker makes his move.” Josh had noticed the other guy clocking her as well, shit. I have to man up in front of my brother, can’t let some college asshole show me up but shit.
Carrie excused herself from the table and headed for the counter where Kadyn had just finished helping a customer. I don’t know what she was saying to her but had a good idea I was involved when Kadyn took a peek at me. I held her eyes until she blushed and hid behind her hair; that’s my kinda shit.
Carrie came back to the table all smiles but not giving up anything and I refused to ask. Besides all my attention was still focused on the ‘friend’ at the next table who couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off my…fuck.
“We’re not leaving until they go.” The three of us were finally finished with our dessert but the asshole and his friends were still here and no matter what I told myself I was not about to leave her here alone with them.
“Why don’t you just go talk to her Matt?” Carrie was resting on her husband’s chest as he played in her hair. Watching the two of them together sometimes made me long to go for it. To throw caution to the wind and just say fuck it. What no one seemed to realize is that I had come very close to doing something that I never thought myself capable of when Patti had done the shit she’d done.
It wasn’t only that she’d fucked with my brother it was the fact that she was capable of such actions. I never wanted to be that close to evil again in my life. If I took a chance on this girl and she fucked me over there’s no telling what I would do this time. I had the feeling that this one could send my ass over the edge. The things she made me feel Patti hadn’t even come close to. It was like the difference between day and night.
“Not now Carrie, I’m not sure which way this thing is going but I don’t want to make any fast moves.”
“You’re certainly nothing like your brother.” The kissing started and I had to wait until they were through sucking each other’s faces off for her to expound on that statement.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean that this one didn’t wait for an invitation, he just forced his way in.”
“I’m a gentleman, your husband didn’t get that particular gene at birth.”
“Kill the shit Matthew I know you remember? Patti might’ve knocked you off kilter for a minute but there’s no way my brother is out of the game. You just need to let go of that shit and do what you have to do Steele style.” The fucker grinned at me like an idiot. He was right though, I had to get my head out of my ass soon. Patti was the past, I’d fucked up there yes, but it wasn’t like me to just lay down and die. If she’d only fucked me over I might’ve handled things different. But she’d gone after my little brother, my heart.
I couldn’t get him to understand what that shit did to me without sounding like a bitch so I held my peace. “The next woman I get myself tangled up with is going to be the last guys. I can’t just rush into this shit, we all know what happened the last time I did that.” As I said the words I knew them to be true. I liked what I saw when I looked at my brother and his wife, that permanence.
In a world where divorce was prevalent and people took love for granted I’ve always known that I’m the settling down type. That’s why I’d stayed with that viper for so long, it’s just not in me to do the running around thing. Maybe that’s why I could understand Joshua’s rush into marriage at his age. He’d seen his forever and taken it. Now I won’t settle for less, but neither will I be too hasty. “I’m not as twisted up as I was a week ago so you guys can stop worrying okay. I just need some time before…”
“That’s good Matt.” Josh gave me a high five as I kept my attention on the asshole at the table across from us who was still busy clocking her with his eyes. I had the strong urge to punch the fucker in the face but that was just crazy. I had yet to even have a real conversation with her. Maybe it was time I remedied that shit and moved on from this limbo that was making me nuts. What was I afraid of anyway? It’s not like I was going to ask her to marry me in the next second or some shit. But something about her scared the fuck out of me, which made no sense whatsoever. Maybe I had lost my mind after all.
Chapter 9
MATT
The douche bag and his friends left not long after and I breathed a sigh of relief when all he said to her was bye. I felt a little less tense when she looked in my direction and kept her distance from him, waving him off from her place behind the counter. Once again Carrie excused herself, this time to go to the restroom and I watched as she stopped to have words with Kadyn, again. I had no idea what they were talking about but from here it looked as if Carrie was trying to talk her into something with all the head shaking and hand wringing that was going on. Whatever it was she finally smiled and nodded before lil sis headed for the bathrooms in back.
“What’s your wife up to bro?” Josh looked over at where the girls had been standing together and then turned back to me with the fakest look of innocence I’d ever seen since he was six. He shrugged his shoulders and changed the subject to sports.
“Since when do you give a fuck about baseball stats Joshua?” Oh yeah they were up to something alright, nosy fucks.
“You wound me bro, you know I’m into all that happy shit, in fact I’m thinking of picking up the game.” I just glared at him and left him alone with his secrets, I guess I’ll figure out what it was soon enough since everyone seemed to be on a fix Matthew kick this week.
When Carrie came back she grinned at her husband and I really knew then the two of them were up to some shit. “Let’s go.” I stood from the table ready to go. I had some shit to think about and I needed to be alone to do it. Things were moving kind of fast. It had only been a short time since I’d first laid eyes on her and already in that time she’d wormed her way into my every thought. Not a day went by that I wasn’t thinking about her or some shit. And lets not talk about the days that I didn’t get a glimpse of her on one of my rides around town. Then I felt like I’d lost something. All this shit had to be dealt with. I might want to take my time but time wasn’t waiting for my ass it seemed.
“You guys head to the truck I’ll be right there.”
I threw the keys to Josh and left the table and went to the counter where she was wiping down the surface as they headed out the door. “I need to talk to you, walk outside with me.” I didn’t give her a chance to accept or deny, just took her hand and pulled her around behind me. As skittish as she was I sensed a stubborn streak inside her. The first thing I needed to do was find out what the hell made her act as though she’s afraid of her own damn shadow. “Where are you taking me?” She tried pulling out of my hand but I held on tighter. One look over my shoulder was enough to quiet her little ass down.