“Too bad because we’re not leaving this spot until you tell me, unless you want me to go ask your dad, we’re pretty cool him and I.”
“No don’t.” She actually grabbed my hand until she realized what she’d done and dropped it like a hot potato.
“Well then talk.” I folded my arms and glared down at her. In the back of my mind I could hear myself telling me to calm the fuck down and back off but somehow I couldn’t.
“Why do you even care, I thought you didn’t like me?” At least she had some fire in her and wasn’t acting like a scared rabbit anymore. I almost smiled at the thought as she glared back at me with her hands on her hips looking ready for battle.
“Who said I didn’t like you?”
“Well you sure acted like it the other day when you were with your friends.”
“Listen forget that ever happened okay I was having an off day; now tell me what’s wrong with you.”
She took a deep breath and somehow I knew she was about to lie to me before she even opened her mouth.
“You just startled me okay that’s all, now can I go? I really have to be somewhere.” She looked everywhere but at me.
I chose to drop it for now, besides we didn’t even know each other that well and I had no right to be acting like a caveman just because I’d seen her with another guy. I’m really going to have to get to the bottom of whatever the hell is wrong with me. I hope to fuck it’s not what I think it is. I’ve already made up my mind never to wade into those shark-infested waters ever again. Not anytime soon anyway and especially not with her. I finally answered her plea to go her way even though I wanted to stand there until I got some answers.
“Sure okay see you around.” I watched her walk away until she disappeared around the corner. Something told me to watch her until she was out of sight and I was a little surprised when she turned into Dr. Graves’ office. What the hell was she going there for? Huh, maybe she had to drop something off from the diner, but I don’t recall seeing any sacks of food in her hand. I got that gnawing feeling in my gut. The one that always warned me when something was wrong. “You don’t need this shit Matt, whatever is going on with this chick you need to walk away.” I told myself that but even as I walked back to my car I knew I wouldn’t. I hadn’t been able to fight the pull in the last few days no matter how much I’d tried. And at night when I went to bed her eyes still haunted me.
I sat in the car like a sick stalker contemplating whether or not I should wait until she was through at the doc’s or just go home. Instinct told me something was very wrong, and for whatever reasons I couldn’t leave it alone. So now I had a decision to make. Did I really want to get involved, and if so to what extent? I closed my eyes and rested my head against the headrest. Trying to talk myself out of going out on that ledge hasn’t worked very well in the last day or so. I needed to talk to someone who could explain what the fuck was going on with me but there was no way I was ready to bring this up to Josh, he’d be all over this shit.
I think I’m pretty sure of what he would say already, but life couldn’t be that strange. Besides I never felt any of these unsettling feelings with Patti and I could’ve sworn I was in love with her all those years we were together. It’s funny, but I now realize that for as much as she’d turned out to be a vicious snake, our relationship had been, shall we say, less passionate than say, Josh and Carrie’s. I always thought that that’s what I wanted. A nice quiet relationship with the woman I would spend the rest of my life with. I’d had enough of the spicy side of things between my parents and much later my brother and his girl. I’d somehow convinced myself that I’d dodged the bullet that seemed to turn the men in my family into raging lunatics.
When I look at Kadyn I felt what I was beginning to fear were the first strains of that madness. Just a glimpse of her would have my heart doing cartwheels in my chest, my hands would literally itch to get on her, and my skin heats and does its strange tingling shit. “Shit Matt.” I turned the key in the ignition a little rougher than necessary once again pissed the fuck off without reason. I didn’t like the fact that she seemed to have this much control over me in such a short time, it was almost as if I had no say in the matter, as if it had already been decided for me and all that was left was for me to just lay down and roll over. Well fuck that, I’m not about to play the sap again. I don’t even know this girl and she seemed…I don’t know what the fuck.
I headed back to the house deep in thought, something kept niggling at me about the way she’d reacted to my touch but I couldn’t quite put it into words. There was definitely something going on there though and before this thing went any farther I needed to get to the bottom of it. If she was going to disrupt the rest of my fucking life I’m going to need to know what the hell I was dealing with. I don’t need any more surprises I’d had enough of that shit to last a lifetime. Josh and Carrie were right I was acting like an old man, but who could blame me? The last time I’d given of myself I’d been fucked. That annoying voice in the back of my head reminded me that this was nothing like that. Even the way I felt about this complete stranger after just one meeting was stronger than anything I’d ever felt for Patti in the three years I’d known her. I’m not sure what that said about me, and my ability to choose when it came to the opposite sex. Only this didn’t feel like a case of me choosing, more like something else was doing it for me.
Chapter 5
MATT
“I think she’s been hurt.”
“Who what?”
I’d dropped down on the floor in my brother’s room as soon as I got in the house. Since him and his wife weren’t doing the horizontal mambo it was safe to come in. She was downstairs with mom and sis making cookies or some shit in the kitchen and Josh was reading on the computer. This was as rare as an ice storm in summer so I had to get in there while I could.
“Kadyn, I think she’s been hurt.” And that shit was really beginning to bother me now that I was no longer where I could see her. All the way here it felt strangely like I was abandoning her somehow, like maybe I should’ve hung around until she was done and walked her back to the diner. There were so many confusing thoughts going through my head lately that I didn’t know which to choose. There was no reason for me to feel this strongly for a total stranger, this need to stand over her and protect.
“And you know this how?” He was still tinkering with his keyboard but I could tell that I had his attention.
“I ran into her in town and she damn near freaked when I touched her.” Yeah Matt you ran into her, that sounds more innocent and less creepy. He turned to study me now and I avoided eye contact; nosy fuck sees too much.
“Well bro the last time you saw her you damn near took her head off. Put that together with the fact that she’s about five three to your hulking mass of six four and that’s enough to put the fear of hell in her.”
“Fuck off, I’m serious bro, I think something happened to her. I’ve never seen anyone react that way to a simple touch and then I see her go into Dr. Graves’ building.”
“So, maybe she was making a food delivery or something, what’s it to you anyway?”
“I don’t know something about her bothers me.”
“Bothers you how?”
Oh I had his full attention now, I could almost see the wheels turning in that brain of his.
“Don’t start, I don’t know but…I saw her with old man Stanley and I wanted to slap the shit out of her.”
“What the fuck was she doing with him?”
“I thought it was some sort of lover’s embrace but she claims he’s her dad.”
“And?”
“And what? That’s it, she had to go somewhere so I told her I’ll see her around.”
“You like this girl Matt?”
“What? No, you saw me at the diner. I don’t know what it is there’s just something about her that drives me bat shit.”
“Welcome to the club.” He grinned down at me and turned back to the computer.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ll see, so when are you seeing her again?”
“Fuck if I know; feel like going to the diner for ice cream later?” Just the thought of seeing her again so soon had my heart jumping in my chest. What the fuck was that shit about?
“Sure bro, welcome back.”
“Don’t go getting any ideas, that happily ever after shit is not in the cards for me been there done that.”
“Matt you’re eighteen not ninety get your head out your ass and join the living.”
“Whatever, where the hell is she from? And how come we never knew old man Stan had a daughter that looked like that?”
“Like what?”
He thought he was so slick. “Never mind, I’ll be in my room call me when you’re ready.”
Back in my room I kept picking at it in my head. I didn’t like the feeling in my gut, or the thoughts in my head. No one reacted that way unless…no don’t go there Matt; and the question still remains what is it to you?