I wanted it too much, wanted everything, but most importantly I wanted it with Matthew Steele, experience had taught me that it would never be. That truth had been brought home when the only boy who had been brave enough to come to my doorstep had been run off the road after leaving my house that night. He’d only been there to study; he’d needed help with his chemistry class. Tommy Bruno didn’t know any of that he didn’t care. Evan had lived but I had never allowed another male to get near me after that for any reason. If he hurt my Matthew it would kill me; my Matthew. Better stop thinking like that, I will hold onto the memory of what little time we had together but I had to let go. I had no choice.
After dad left to go downstairs I cleaned up and went back to my room. I had to figure out some way to get all of this tuff back to him and his jeep. I could always drive over there but I didn’t want to, it would be too hard seeing them all again so happy together, knowing that I could never be a part of that. It was best to sever all ties now. I turned off my phone hoping that that would send the message that I didn’t want to talk to him and decided that I’ll ask dad to return the stuff later.
Chapter 18
MATT
Where the hell is she? It was way past the time she said she would be here. My first instinct was to panic but I quelled that shit, I couldn’t ask her not to see the boogeyman around every corner if I was going to start doing the same thing. I called her phone and it went straight to voice mail. Maybe she was driving and couldn’t answer the phone, good girl. I went about getting ready for her day of fun, mom said she was going to fire up the grill and make a party of it later in the afternoon. Everyone was onboard to make it a nice experience for her. I was immensely proud of my family for the way they were acting, no one was asking questions though I’m sure they were dying to know, they just accepted that she was mine and that was enough.
By the time enough time had gone by that she should be here and she was still a no show I tried calling again and got the voice mail. Then I started worrying, I paced the patio as I dialed the diner hoping that all was well and she was safe. Maybe she got a late start or something had come up. “Stan’s Eats.”
“Stan this is Matthew is Kadyn there?”
“Uh, you didn’t talk to her?”
“Not since I called her earlier she was supposed to be coming over but she’s not here and she’s not answering her phone did she leave?”
“Uh no son, I think you need to talk to her.”
“Why what’s going on?”
“Son I don’t feel comfortable talking to you about this this is between you and her, I think she should be the one to tell you herself.” I was starting to get a bad feeling in my chest. “Talk to me about what?” I was already heading inside for my keys. I had a pretty good idea what this was about and if I was right I’m going to be so pissed.
“Like I said I think you two should talk.”
“I’m on my way.”
I was going on pure fumes as I hopped into the closest car and peeled out of the garage. No fucking way, she wasn’t doing this shit. It was time to take the gloves off. If Kadyn Daniels didn’t think she deserved anything better than hiding out for the rest of her life then it was my job to drag her ass out from under that cloud. In my heart I knew I would never let anything happen to her, I’d already taken steps to take care of that asshole hadn’t I? I wasn’t about to lose her to her own fear, not when I’d just found her. No one was taking her away from me not even she herself. Fuck that, I’d be fucked if I let some pedophile asshole hundreds of miles away dictate my life and happiness, who the fuck?
Her father was standing near the door as though waiting for my arrival he just passed me off the key to the upstairs door and without a word spoken between us I headed towards the back and up the stairs. I held my breath for a quick second to calm down before facing her, didn’t want to scare her with my temper. I turned the key and called out for her so she’d know it was me. “Kadyn where are you?”
“Matthew?” she came out of her room with her hand at her throat. “What are you doing here?” There were tear tracks on her face and she looked miserable, good, she should feel miserable for putting me through this shit.
“Aren’t you supposed to be somewhere?”
“Matt I can’t…”
“I don’t want to hear that shit Kadyn, we talked about this. I’m willing to give you time to deal with having me in your life but what I am not going to do is let you chicken out on me. If you’re afraid to grab whatever happiness life throws your way that’s your fucking issue not mine but you will not fuck up my shit. Now get your bag and let’s go.”
“You don’t understand…it won’t work, you’re…I don’t know, you come from this amazing family who probably never had a day’s trouble in their lives can you imagine how they’ll look at me if they knew about my past? If they knew what their lives will be like if and when he finds me?”
“Kadyn my family already knows about that shit and if you think that having money protects us from the shit people do to each other then you’re sadly mistaken. I almost married someone who set my sister in law up to be raped and almost murdered. Yeah I see that caught your attention, Carrie was abducted not too long ago by someone who’s in jail for the rape and murder of at least seven women so don’t think you corner the market on sick assholes. Now get your shit because none of this has fuck all to do with anything. I told you I’ll take care of you, since you find that shit so hard to believe I’ll just have to show you.”
Instead of waiting for her to get her bag I snatched up the one I saw hanging on the chair and grabbed her hand pulling her out the door behind me. “Wait Matthew let me change my clothes at least.”
“No, fuck it, you had all morning to get dressed.” I threw the keys across the counter at Stan on the way out the door as his daughter looked over her shoulder at him as if asking him to save her from the crazy man. He had the good sense to stay where the fuck he was and not get in my way.
I wasn’t too gentle when I seated her in the car and strapped her in. All my hard work from yesterday was obviously in vain and that pissed me off. Bruno wasn’t here so the problem was Kadyn; she was the one letting fear rule her, the one not allowing herself to be happy. I sent James off to fight him looks like I had to fight her too. So be it.
Chapter 19
MATT
There were no words said between us as I headed for home, she just sat there with her arms folded in her lap looking out the window at the scenery. She seemed so detached, so removed, like she was just going through the motions. I slammed the car into park and turned to her. “Do you even see what you’re looking at Kadyn?” she turned wide eyes to me, her face drawn and so fucking sad I wanted to hit something. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, she wasn’t supposed to be like this. She was too young, too beautiful and just too fucking perfect for this to be her life. I won’t let it be, if I had to drag her kicking and screaming into our life, the life I wanted to give her, share with her, then I will.
I got out of the car and walked around to her side, we were just a few minutes from the house but that was okay. I helped her out of the car and walked her through the trees and into the little meadow in the clearing. “Look around you Kadyn, what do you see? No don’t tense up he’s not here, he has nothing to do with this place it’s just you and me here now, tell me, what do you see?” She took her time looking around at the wild flowers that grew between the grass and trees. The sun was still in its waking up stages and the light on the leaves spoke of new beginnings.
“Do you see the wide open space, the wildflowers? Look at the sky; see how beautiful and clear it is? This would be a nice place for a picnic, I think we’ll do that soon.” I let her take in the beauty of her surroundings; I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the first time she’d allowed herself the luxury. I refuse to study similar cases to hers, I might be wrong in my thinking but I didn’t want the influence. All I know is what I want for her, I understand the danger but apart from that I wasn’t willing to give an inch. It’s just not in my make up to let someone else dictate my life and my choices. When I made the choice, when my heart settled on her she became a part of me, anything that hurt her hurts me, and there was no way I was going to let anything hurt her. That thought gave me an idea.
“Let’s go.” I was happy to see that she was almost reluctant to leave. When she forgot to be afraid she could enjoy the same things as the rest of us, so it was the fear that I had to conquer first and foremost. We made the rest of the trip with her hand in mine. My anger was beginning to fade as we pulled through the gate. I could hear the others in the back already as we walked through the house and headed in that direction. “Change of plans guys. Carrie and Nessa I need you guys, meet me in the gym in ten.”
I took her up to my room and dug through my drawers for an old t-shirt and sweats. “Here put these on.” she looked at them questioningly but went into the bathroom to put them on. She looked a mess in my too big clothes and it was so cute I had to kiss her. “Good morning my Kitten.” I held onto her after the kiss, gently rocking her back and forth.