“Shut up Kadyn don’t be stupid, look I get it, he terrorized you for years but baby you’ve got to take the power back. Don’t you think you deserve to have a life free of all this fear? Don’t you want to have more days like today or go out with the girls and just have fun, do the things you’ve always wanted to do? What were your dreams before this all started, do you even remember?”
“Not really, because I had to learn that they would never come true, that I would never have a normal life. He’s always going to be there don’t you understand?” she was about to freak out again but this time I wanted to get to the end of this. I needed to at least plant the seed that there was so much she could do now. “But he hasn’t found you here has he?”
“Yes but how long is that going to last? Every time we thought we’d found a way around him in the past he’d outsmart us. I know it’s just a matter of time before he shows up here too he always does. Sometimes in the diner I expect to walk up to a table and come face to face with him.” I finally saw some anger in her then which if you ask me was the right fucking emotion.
“Babe here’s the thing, it’s always been just you and your mom right, well now you have four men five if you count the douche who will stand between you and this monster. We won’t let anything happen to you, this is your chance to take your life back but you have to want that. You have to believe that you deserve better I can’t make you fell that.” It seemed I’d have to repeat certain things over and over until she learned to accept them as truth. I hope I could keep my word, that no matter what I could keep her safe.
“Why do you even care Matthew, wouldn’t it be better if you found someone else?”
“No and don’t say that shit again. Do you think I’m that fickle that I can switch my feelings on and off at will? You think I wanted to fall in love with anyone now after the shit I just went through? No, I was fine with the way things were I too had made up my mind about my future but it wasn’t meant to be. You’re here now and for whatever reason my heart wants you and that’s that. But I won’t live my life in fear of this asshole and neither are you. When’s the last time you spoke to your mom?”
“We can’t risk it, I think he’s very good with computers because he always knew things and once we even thought he had our house bugged because he’d always know what we talked about. Mom couldn’t afford to hire anyone to sweep the house and the police either didn’t have the resources or they didn’t think it was important enough but we never knew for sure. So we learned to be careful even behind closed doors.”
“Well he’s no match for Josh Steele when it comes to that shit I can assure you, by the time we’re finished with him he’s gonna regret ever hearing your fucking name.”
“What do you mean, don’t do anything Matthew you’ll get into trouble and I don’t want that. Your parents were very nice to me today but they won’t be so nice if I get their sons mixed up in this. I’ve learned that lesson too. No one wanted their kids around me when word got out about what was going on. I lost almost all my friends…”
“Don’t worry about stuff like that we know what we’re doing and besides my parents won’t hate you because of something that wasn’t your fault. So tell me have you really never had a normal day in the past four years? Didn’t you have a boyfriend, go out on dates?”
“No, I could never involve someone in my life. Before it all started I had friends there were boys I liked when I was twelve and thirteen but nothing serious obviously because I was too young and I wasn’t allowed to date then anyway. Then by the time I could date he was there and there was just no way.”
“So you’re a virgin.” The blush that touched her cheeks answered the question even before she nodded her head shyly against my chest. Why that should make me want to shout for joy was beyond me but somehow it meant a hell of lot that she was mine and only mine. It was just one more thing that made me that much more determined to keep her and to make sure that she remained a part of my life for always.
“How did you escape?”
“It was the prom, a few weeks before I received a threatening letter that said if I went with anyone that person would come to grievous harm. By then we knew that he was listening to everything we said. We were sure that he couldn’t see what we were doing because sometimes he’d text me or send emails asking what I was doing and where I was, stuff like that. Mom and I started writing notes to each other back and forth while we were home in the evenings. That would drive him crazy, he’d call nonstop then and make all kinds of threats.
One evening when I came home mom gave me a note; it said that this policewoman that she’d befriended was going to help us. Although there wasn’t much the police could do because there wasn’t enough evidence against him she wanted to help. They came up with this scheme. Mom got in touch with dad while she was at work and the three of them worked it out before they let me in on it.
The day of the prom while we were sure that he was watching the house we had a limo come to pick me up and everything. Mom had built a security fence around our yard years earlier to help keep him out and give me some freedom though I still never went out there alone. Anyway the officer dressed like me in a prom dress, did her hair like mine and kept her face hidden enough as she went out to the car. While she was doing that mom and I were sneaking out the back to this little road that ran behind our property where the cop had left her car hidden.
Mom drove me to the bus station and I took a bus out of town, I was never so afraid in my life. I couldn’t fly because they would need ID and he could always trace that but the bus wasn’t so strict and I was able to get a ticket. It would’ve been better if I could’ve driven myself but I was too afraid, what if he caught up with me on the road alone? The bare thought made me sick for days. In the end it was decided that I would take two buses in zigzagging directions using two different names and then dad met me. I was never so happy to see anyone as I was when I saw dad that third day.” Her body trembled when she was through with her tale of horror and I wanted to hurt the son of a bitch in the worst way.
I ran my hand gently over her hair and hugged her closer as I tried to think of ways to make her less fearful. I refuse to give him anymore of her. After today I wanted him to just be a bad memory but the only way I could do that was by eliminating the threat once and for all. Now that I had started my campaign to draw her out of her shell it was time to move on him. I knew now that we wouldn’t be able to move forward otherwise. My idea to focus on her now and deal with him after wasn’t going to work. I’ll have to do the two simultaneously.
“So you go to doc for your anxiety?”
“Yes, he says I’m getting better but I don’t see it. When I’m there with him doing the exercises he’s been teaching me I feel powerful and great but it doesn’t last, nothing ever does because I know better than anyone that he’s very persistent, that he’ll find a way, he always does.”
“Can you do me a favor Kadyn, can you at least try from now on to not think like that? Just take it one moment at a time, but can you try to remember the day we had today? There was no danger, nothing bad happened. Can you focus on that and maybe try to have more days like it? did you think about him at all today?”
She seemed to be giving it some thought before her face broke out in a smile and she turned wondering eyes to me. “No I didn’t. I was so caught up in what your mom or one of your sisters were saying there was no time to think about anything else. I can’t believe anyone actually spends that kind of money in one day on some clothes and your mom kept saying I needed to get this and that as if what I got wasn’t more than enough. You sure this is okay Matthew? I don’t want you to think you have to buy me things.” Half an hour alone with Carrie ought to cure her of that, that’s one female who knows her worth; she takes Josh’s gifts as her due, as she should and that boy sure knows how to spoil his wife, it’s almost embarrassing. I chose to ignore her question and focus on the other.
“You see, that’s a start we’ll have lots more days like this and soon you won’t think of him at all.” that was my hope at least. “Speaking of which, your job at the diner is that because you need money or is it just something to do?”
“Well it’s nice to have my own money but dad said he’d give me an allowance if I didn’t want to work. I guess it’s just something to pass the time since I’ve decided to take some time off before looking for a college, and since I’m not comfortable going elsewhere for a job the diner is it.” that settles that then.
I mulled over everything she told me piecing things together in my head, gauging where she was really at. She’d had it rough no doubt about that and my only concern now was how to proceed with us without causing her more harm. There’s no guidebook that I know of that tells you how to deal with your woman’s past stalking, at least I didn’t find one and I looked. It seems to me everything dealt with the stalking itself and how to not be a victim but that sounded too much like living the rest of her life with a constant reminder. I wanted to move her away from that I don’t want him having that much power in our lives.