The intensity of his stare bored into me like a laser. The heat from the lust behind those eyes all over my body. My limbs wouldn't move, wouldn't work at all. I became a statue, subjugated to the frank perusal of the artist, my master.
"I hated every second of those two having their hands on you, and I thought I would destroy the damn car when that tall bastard wanted to come on your face."
Had I been misinterpreting everything all night? Probably. I was shit at this kind of stuff. Marc and Mindy's betrayals proved I was not a good judge of character or clues or country club gossip.
If the dark color of his eyes were any indication, he enjoyed every second of staring at me. The frown said he hated that enjoyment.
He wanted me. But he didn't want to want me.
Fantastic. Fucking fantastic.
"I'll give you a minute to put yourself back together. If you'd like something else to wear once we're up there, I can arrange for that. But you can also go naked." He clenched his jaw again. "It's your choice."
What the fuck? Why couldn't he say what was on his mind? He was very specifically saying he wanted me naked and then turning around in the same damn sentence and pretending he didn't.
Damn right it was my choice. He may have this whole Dom thing going on, but I sure as shit never agreed to be his submissive. I didn't even really know what that meant. In books, sure. In real life. Nada.
I was mad at him for putting me in this situation. Not with the guys and the camera. I was grateful for that. Why did he have to be such a pig-headed ass? A hot pig-headed ass, but one none the less. "Hurt much to say that?"
He scowled, and I told myself I didn't care.
"Damn it. Don't fucking push me away like one of your country club dickheads. I know what I'm doing here. You need this," he pointed out the car door toward the guys and the front of his building, "more than my need to protect you or fuck you. Pull yourself together and go in there and get your brains screwed out."
So many responses were coming from my body. It was shock and awe, the curling of my toes, the buzzing in my ears. Of course, he had a need to protect me. That was his job. But again, with the damn mixed messages. A need to fuck me and then telling me, all pissed off, to go get my brains screwed out.
I'd offered – no, begged him to take me to bed. He'd refused. There'd been a sexual tension building between us all night. I may not have understood that before, but it was diamond clear to me now.
I may be shit at romantic relationships, but at least I said what I meant. "You don't really want me to do this, do you?"
He'd gone along with the bid to take me to that bar, and he'd agreed to make the recording for me. He'd hated every one of my requests all night, trying to get in the way.
If he did have feelings for me, this was a shitty way of showing it.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "What I want doesn't matter right now. You need this. You've never gotten a chance to be you, now you can find out who you are and what you like. If this is what you like, well..."
I raised my eyes so he could see every expression, every sincerity written there. My next question was important, and I didn't want to hear lies. I wanted to see and hear the truth. "Why can't I do that with you?"
He took my face in his hands and brushed his lips across mine. It was nothing like when Ian had done the same. The taste of warmth and compassion, love and lust seeped into my mouth. I needed this man. The realization was like when you were looking for something that was right in front of you.
I needed and wanted Gray on a level way beyond friendship and even beyond sex. He saw me when no one else did.
He stared down at me, searching my eyes. "I won't be your rebound."
I swallowed the sweetly rancid burn bubbling up in my throat. The first move I made was to push his hands away. I grasped at the sweater pooled at my waist and yanked down my skirt. Only when I had myself covered did he break eye contact. He slid out the door and I sank back into the seat.
This whole night was a horrible combination of freedom, revenge, lust, and complete fuck-ups.
Men's voices floated into the car, but my brain was too jumbled to process the words. I rubbed my arms with my hands, trying to get my blood flowing again so I could make my muscles work. Until then, I couldn't fathom getting out of the car.
I closed my eyes and waited. For what I didn't know. I felt the heat beside me and strong arms wrap me in their embrace.
"Hey, babe, come here."
I leaned into Ian and breathed in his scent. It was some fancy expensive cologne, but what I wanted was the smell of soap, lust, and man. I wanted Gray.
I couldn't have him. Yet.
So I'd take this sweet, sexy substitute.
Ian took my hand. "Come on, let's go in and have some fun. Let us take care of you."
Had he overheard that train wreck or was the punch-to-the-gut disappointment written on my features? I didn't need someone to take care of me. But what else did I have at the moment?
"Yeah." I pushed to imbue a lightness in my voice that wasn't in my soul. "Let's go."
CHAPTER SEVEN
Bound and Rebound
Gray's suite was not what I expected, but totally him. This new him I hadn't known existed. The one who belonged to a club like The Asylum.
I imagined the interior of a sex club would be all dark leather and burnished steel like his loft, but with whips and floggers and various other S&M equipment hanging on the walls. They probably didn't have the floor to ceiling windows he had, though. What a view. A million-dollar view.
How often did he spend time here? It couldn't be that much. He was usually with me, and I knew he stayed overnight in the carriage house.
This must be his den of iniquities, where he brought his women.
Now, here I was.
I couldn't feel any further away from him.
"Help yourself to drinks. There's bottled water and teas in the kitchen. I'll be a minute." Gray left us in his living room and went down a hallway off the kitchen.
He may be distancing himself from me, but I didn't need him, anyway. I had a ménage to attend to.
"What's this boyfriend of yours doing now, doll? We're all raring to go and he's off hiding somewhere. I'm tired of seeing you wait on his whims." Hawk walked into the living room and studied the furniture there.
He'd been calling Gray that all night. My boyfriend. Until three minutes ago, I hadn't minded. But Gray wasn't my boyfriend. I didn't know what he was to me, but I knew what he wasn't.
My rebound.
The words stung in my ears and pierced my psyche like a nine-foot stinger of a killer bee. It would take a lot to soothe that pain. Not sure a ménage with two strangers would do that. It might do something else for my confidence though. To be desired and needed by these hot men – that was new experience for me. I wanted more.
I followed Hawk into the living room and motioned Ian to come with. The sooner we got back into the groove the better. Regardless of where Gray was and what he did or didn't want. "Who says we have to wait for him?"
"Hell, yeah. Now you're talking," Ian said and whipped off his shirt. His pants weren't far behind.
If a girl didn't have a six-pack waiting in the wings for her, she might swoon over the lean, well-toned muscles in Ian's arms and abs. I laughed at how fast he went from nice guy to naked guy.
Hawk came over to me and pushed right into my personal space. He chucked me under the chin, lifting my face so I looked right into his eyes.
"You and I need to get something clear before this night goes any further." His voice had taken on a tone that brooked no arguments.
I saw only honesty and want of the truth in his gaze. It was incredibly sexy and reminded me so much of Gray that I lost my breath for a moment. I had to focus to find words to answer him with. "Okay."
Incredibly, he moved even closer to me. Our thighs touched, my breasts pushed against his chest and responded with an ache. I'd been intent on a one-night stand with strangers, but somewhere in the mix of foreplay I found I liked them both. In another life, I could have gone for Hawk.
"Dollface, is this revenge on your boyfriend?" His face was a mix of emotions. I didn't know him well enough to understand them all, but I was pretty sure I saw hurt. Was he offended that I was using him? I searched that face. No, he had been wounded in the way only one who'd been cheated on could understand.
"No." I bit my lip and looked away. Hawk would see that same injury in me.
Hawk grabbed me around the waist, pulling our bodies tighter together as if he could will the truth from me with his overpowering touch. He wrapped his hand around my jaw, drawing my gaze back to his. "Don't lie to me."