Jagan, of course, already knew. Or would, as soon as he woke from his sleep of exhaustion. Breaking a betrothal vow between the two most gifted talents on Psyclid was enough to set off psychic shock waves even K'kadi would recognize.
A grimace twisted Kass's face, her shoulders slumped. She had no regrets beyond those four lonely years spent in the Archives-and even that had expanded her knowledge, made her stronger. But what her parents were going to say . . .
She honored them, loved them, truly she did. But supreme in her heart was Tal Rigel. There could never be anyone else.
But now the moment had come. With fantasies blown away and reality looming before her, she could clearly see the chasm she was stepping across. For all the help she, K'kadi, and Jagan were providing, this was a rebellion of Regulon against Regulon. Accepting Tal's invitation to move into his quarters was the final step in allying herself to the rebel cause.
When all Regulons-both sides of the rebellion-were the enemies of Psyclid.
Well, pok, dimi, and fyd! She should be floating on air this morning. Instead, she was sitting on her bunk, scowling at the unoffending bathing room door.
Reality. Last night she had rung the bell that could not be unrung. In giving Tal Rigel her virginity, she had not only broken her betrothal to the Sorcerer Prime, she had broken faith with her heritage. Her birthright. Her country. There was no going back. For better or for worse, she was now truly Tal Rigel's woman.
Kass's scowl faded into a secret little smile as she recalled discovering her captain had a weakness-its name, Kass Kiolani. How perfectly delicious to know she had the power to turn S'sorrokan into an overeager schoolboy, fumbling and incoherent.
Not that he hadn't made up for it later-yet looking back, Kass found she had a special fondness for the stoic celibate who had gone so long without that he'd lost control when his goal was finally within his grasp. Tal Rigel at his most vulnerable and endearing.
Kass drew a deep breath, stood, and walked with determined steps to her storage unit. Time to pack.
The outer door slid open and Zee-Zee burst in, words spilling nonstop from the moment she caught sight of her roommate. "Omni be blessed, you did it! The ship's buzzing from one end to the other. Oh! Ka-ass." Zee-Zee collapsed onto her bed, blue eyes wide. "You're leaving . . . moving in with the captain?" Kass managed a tiny nod as she felt her cheeks flush hot pink.
"Well, dimi," Zee-Zee wheezed, "I'll miss you."
"He said he'd have my things packed up," Kass confided, "but can you imagine? He'd probably have sent the marines."
Zee-Zee flopped flat on her bed, hands over her eyes, suddenly howling with laughter. "Men can be so strange," she got out between guffaws. "Can't you just picture Anton or Joss pawing through your undies?"
A giggle bubbled up through Kass's embarrassment. "I don't know who would have been more red-faced, them or me."
"So you sneaked out to do it yourself."
"Mmm."
"It's not like we didn't all know it was coming," Zee-Zee said more quietly. "But, frankly, I'd just about given up on the two of you. Like you were going to drag your feet until someone blew us out of the sky and it was way too late."
"That's what did it, I think. Tal said there's nothing like the whiff of death to clarify the mind."
Zee-Zee rolled over and looked Kass in the eye. "He thinks we're not going to make it?"
"I think he did what he always does," Kass returned carefully, "weighed the odds and decided he'd better grab a little pleasure while he could."
"Things are that bad?"
Kass made a face. "Dorn can tell you the whole, but in simplest form, Tal insists on making the rendezvous with Tegge, and I'm convinced we'll be flying straight into another Reg battle group."
"So morituri te salutamus, or more appropriately, fydamus."
"Zee-Zee!"
"Sorry, but the "we who are about to die" part fits, and last night you were doing a hell of lot more than saluting!"
Kass managed a wan smile. "We are rather like gladiators, aren't we? Warriors trapped in a sector filled with Regs out for blood, sacrificing ourselves with no real hope of ever breaking the cycle of fight, win, or die. And if we're lucky, a few will limp home, living to fight another day."
"We have a far better chance of escaping than the Roman gladiators ever did," Zee-Zee declared. "Or the Greeks at Thermopylae."
"Marginally," Kass conceded. "But is that what it's come to? Rebels as mere entertainment for the Empire? Just another battle exercise for Fleet?"
Zee-Zee swung her legs off the bed, sitting upright, glaring. "It was just a quip, Kass. Forget I ever said it. I've followed the captain into hell a dozen times over. It will come right in the end, it always does. Now cheer up, smile. Go make him happy. He deserves it."
But do I deserve this joy, Kass wondered, when all I do, when we're not in bed, is argue?
With Zee-Zee's help, she finished packing, and after a brief bout of hugs and tears, Kass headed for the lift and the spacious quarters of Captain Tal Rigel. Where hopefully he stocked enough supplies so she could assuage her growling stomach.
The strident clang of the ship's alarms woke Kass in the wee hours of morning. By the time she realized what was happening, Tal was half-dressed and pulling on his boots. Four days of blissful peace, almost a honeymoon, and now, just short of Renner's Gate, the one she recommended, the call for battle stations. If she'd ever been a pampered princess with all the rough edges smoothed out of her world, it must have been in an alternate universe. But there were times when she wished she were gifted with enough magic to put her life back the way it once was.
But not if it meant giving up Tal.
Abruptly, the alarms ceased. In the act of buckling on his weapons belt, Tal paused, obviously attempting to analyze the profound silence. He tapped his comm unit. "Rigel to bridge."
"Sorry, Captain. You'll want to take a look, but it seems to be a trader vessel, also bound for Renner's. She's showing nothing beyond the usual defensive weapons. None hot."
"Stay here," Tal ordered, waving Kass back to bed. "Looks like nothing more than jumpy nerves on the bridge. I'll be back as soon as I can." He swooped down for a kiss and then he was gone, leaving lingering essence of Tal Rigel tickling her nose and parts considerably lower.
Kass sighed. Evidently, she and Zee-Zee weren't the only crew members thinking "we who are about to die." And at the far end of Renner's-provided no ambush waited for them there-they had to get through five or six more days to Tat, worrying all the way. Was Scorpio waiting for them, as planned? Or would Tegge's be one of the Fleet ships lying in wait for Astarte?
Kass must have dozed, for the next thing she knew Tal was slipping in beside her, overwhelming her senses with the feel of him, the scent of him, the wonder of questing lips and roving hands. Of touching and being touched. Of knowing that for a few moments she could make him forget everything but her.
Until his comm unit squawked or the next alarm bell rang.
But she knew that, accepted it. As much as she hated it, Kass now faced the reality head-on. That was the difference between loving the fantasy Tal and the real one. And now that she knew the reality of Tal Rigel, her fantasy lover from the Archives didn't stand a chance.
Tal groaned as Kass stroked the velvet hardness of him, then guided him home.
They exited Renner's with nothing more exciting on Astarte's long-range scanners than the now solidly identified trader ship, also obviously heading for Tatarus. Tal struggled not to feel smug, not to broadcast "I told you so" to all the skeptics, including his very special little Psyclid. But rebel captains indulging in the euphoria of sexual bliss had to struggle all the harder to remain realistic. "So far so good" didn't mean Fleet wasn't waiting for him at Tat.
But Tatarus, and a thousand marks out in every direction, was a neutral zone, and so far the Empire hadn't violated neutral space. Therefore . . .
There was always a first time.
Mallick! Kass's fears were catching. For all his assertions, Tal was almost as surprised as she when they found Scorpio the only Fleet ship in orbit around Tat. Waiting, exactly as planned. Tal swore he could hear Kass's teeth grinding when Jordana Tegge popped onto the bridge's viewscreen. "Captain, good to see you."
"And you." She smiled. "That was a long side trip, Rigel. My crew is itching for some action."
"Sorry about that. As it turns out, we've had a bit too much of it."
Tegge's brows rose sharply. "I look forward to hearing all about it," she returned. "Do you need to replenish supplies, Captain?"