I nod and finally speak. "I do write songs. Not a lot lately, because I've been busy . . . and frankly, this has never been something I've had to think seriously about before. It's never even been in the realm of real possibilities."
Holly smiles and crosses one leg over the other. "Honey, I know. If you do this, you're still going to have trouble believing it's real six weeks or even six months from now. This is life-changing. That's why deciding whether you want to go for it is the biggest hurdle. The YouTube videos you've got out there are still getting hundreds of thousands of hits a day, especially the one of you and Frisco, so right now you're a mystery and people want to know more. If we jump on that, get you the right press and interviews, we ride the wave and keep you relevant while we prep your first album. But if you decide you don't want to do this, then it'll eventually fade after your fifteen minutes are up."
I take a deep breath and run through the thoughts that have been speeding through my mind all morning. "I don't have any other solid plans for my future right now. Literally none. I'd be an idiot not to give it a shot."
Holly leans forward on the couch. "It may seem hard to believe, but I know some of what you're feeling right now. Before I went on Country Dreams for my shot at a recording contract, I was deep fryin' pickles in a bowling alley in Kentucky. There's not a damn thing wrong with that because it's honest work, but I was going nowhere fast. I knew I needed one shot to get out and make something of my life, so when that chance came around, I took it. From what I understand, you've been working in a bar so long you probably don't remember what it's like to do anything else. There's also nothing wrong with that. But if you've been waiting for a chance, I'm gonna be real blunt-this is it."
She pauses for a moment before continuing.
"I'm not saying Homegrown is the only label that's going to try to sign you, but I'm saying this moment, this exposure, is your shot. The other labels may not be as generous or as driven to make you a success as we are, though. I'm not trying to pressure you into choosing Homegrown, but I would be making you my personal project. And, Ripley, I don't fail when I set out to prove myself. You don't have to buy into anything I'm saying, but it's the truth. Homegrown Records will soon be a major force in this industry, and it will be my mission to take you to the top."
I wrap my arms around my middle, not sure why I feel the need to protect myself. Probably because this level of vulnerability isn't something I often show to strangers.
"It's a little scary to think of how everything would change."
"I know. I get it. But think about this." Holly studies me. "I also know what it's like to have a man at your side who is larger than life and has access to resources that seem impossible to comprehend. Crey and I will never be equals in the financial arena because he's so damned filthy rich, but I'm no slouch at earning a paycheck and standing on my own two feet. It's hard when you've got a man in your life who would happily step in and take over everything for you. But you've been doing it all on your own for so long that I can't imagine you like having to lean on Boone for help without being able to give it in return."
Damn. Score one for incredibly perceptive Holly Wix.
"How did you know?"
"Because I've got a fierce streak of pride, just like you. So what if my daddy disappeared and my mama was a deadbeat who left me on my gran's front porch and forgot to come home for years at a time? I didn't want to feel like I was worth any less than my billionaire husband, and I found my self-worth on the stages where I performed until he and I sorted our life out."
Her nonchalant recitation of her family history knocks something loose in me. That's the only explanation I have for what comes next.
"My mama was killed in the bathroom of my family's bar with the man she was cheating with. Pop was already broken, but that day he shattered. He fell into the bottom of a bottle and never found his way out. He had no problem dumping as much stuff on me as he could, but when it came down to it, there was no way I could resurrect the Fishbowl from that with no resources. I tried. I really did, but I failed."
"Oh, honey. You don't own that failure. You were set up for it, but the amazing part is that you kept that bar running for almost ten years by yourself."
My gaze cuts to her. "You know all this already?"
She nods carefully. "I told you my husband could've worked for the CIA. I probably know more about you than Boone does. But I promise, none of that information leaves this room."