Real Sexy (Real Dirty Duet #2)(13)

I can barely bring myself to look him in the eye, but I find my spine and straighten my shoulders.

"I'm sorry doesn't come close to being a decent apology, but it's all I've got right now. You didn't deserve any of it. And I'm so freaking sorry that my disaster of a family pulled you into our mess. You deserve so much better." I swallow back the lump in my throat. "I'll get Hope's truck, and we'll take Esteban as soon as we can."

At his name, Esteban wakes in the living room. "Take me away."

I take a step in his direction, but Boone's fingers lock around my wrist.

"I'm not back with her."

I swing my head around in his direction as he continues.

"If you saw the pictures from earlier, it was all a stunt by Amber. I didn't have shit to do with it. She and I are done, Ripley. I swear it on my granddad's grave." 

A spark of something unfamiliar grows in my mind, maybe hope, but I refuse to give it any fuel to grow. Regardless of whether he's back with Amber, Boone and I are done. This can't go anywhere.

"It doesn't matter, Boone. My family-"

He tugs me back, never releasing his hold on me. "Your family isn't you. You didn't pick them. You didn't do shit. They've treated you like crap for years and you're still here, doing the right thing, but struggling with that family loyalty all the same."

I shake my head. "You don't understand. I have the world's worst luck. If something can go wrong for me, it will. This is just one more example of why you need to stay far away from me. I'd never forgive myself if I dragged you down with me."

With another swift tug, Boone brings me flush against his body, and I don't have the emotional strength to fight it. If this is the last time I get to be close to him, I need to soak it up. I'll drag out this memory when I'm alone, and remember what it was like to have someone like Boone care.

"I forgive you, even though there's nothing to forgive," Boone says, his voice low and quiet, his gaze drilling into mine. "I won't let them keep you out of my life." He releases my wrist and his hand slides around to the small of my back. "We're just getting started, sugar, and I won't let anyone take that away from us."

I try to pull back because his words are all too perfect, designed to make me agree with anything he wants from me, but I can't buy into it. He doesn't understand.

"You don't get it, Boone. This can't go anywhere." My voice shakes, and I know I'm about to lose it.

"Who says it can't go anywhere?" His posture goes rigid.

"Me! Things don't work out for me. Ever. I never get a break. Every time I think maybe something is gonna go right, life smacks me down again, just to put me in my place. Ripley Fischer thought she could have something better? Nope. Not a chance. Let's make sure that goes to shit too."

His expression softens. "What are you talking about, sugar?"

"Life, Boone! Not everything works out just because you want it to. If something can go wrong, it will. Maybe not for everyone, but for me, that's how it works."

"That's bullshit." His blue eyes spark.

"No, that's the truth. I spent years avoiding getting involved with someone like you, someone with cameras and paparazzi following them everywhere, because of what happened with my mama. She hooked up with Gil Green, and then the next thing you know, they're both dead. Pop never missed an opportunity to hammer me with what Mama did, and how the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. And then on top of all that, I know I have the world's shittiest luck, and I still let myself get involved with you against my better judgment. Now look at the freaking mess you're in! It's not just the press calling me a whore, but my cousin lied to the police and got you thrown in jail! Oh, and on top of that, your girlfriend comes back and rescues you. How much more proof do you need?"

"Nothing happened with Amber-"

I laugh, and it comes out sounding maniacal. "I believe you. I really, truly do. But guess what? It doesn't matter what I think, because the rest of the world believes what they read online and in the tabloids. And that just sucks. I don't even know why I'm surprised. I never get a break." My voice rises and I sound hysterical, even to my own ears. "I let myself think for a second that maybe this could go right. Maybe I could finally have something good in my life, and look how royally it got screwed up. So I'm done. Just . . . done. I give up. I'm going to walk away before anything else bad can happen. I'll be back for my bird, but that's it."



       
         
       
        

Boone's face morphs into a harsh mask. "You had exactly one part right-this is a good thing going between us, and that hasn't fucking changed. We hit a few bumps in the road, but everyone does. If you expect life to be perfect, then you're not living it right."