Real Men Don't Break Hearts(7)

“I’m working on it. I’ll find a way to clear the debt.” And fast, before ownership of the building transferred to Nate. “But I don’t know what will happen when Nate takes over as landlord.”

“He’s not going to evict you, is he?”

He’d have every reason to, considering all those soap bars she’d let fly at him. The memory of his strapping hands holding her wrists surged through her mind. He’d been so close she’d felt the heat pulsing from his body, heat suffused with power and virility. A frisson rippled through her. Nate was a jerk, but he was an attractive jerk, damn it.

“Nana would be crushed if you had to close the gift shop,” Jess said. “Probably best not to tell her about the outstanding rent. At least, not for the time being.”

They both fell silent, imagining their grandmother’s reaction if the gift shop she’d started so many years back were forced to close. A boating accident had orphaned Ally and Jess when they were young and left them in the care of their grandmother, and Helen Griffin’s gift shop had become the family’s major lifeline. The shop was her crowning achievement, and she’d hated giving it up when her worsening health problems made it impossible for her to continue. Only the knowledge that her own granddaughter was taking over the reins had softened the blow, but even in retirement she couldn’t help interfering with the running of the shop, and though she loved her grandmother dearly, Ally was often frustrated by her meddling. If Nana found out about the outstanding rent, she’d be bitterly disappointed, and if she suspected the possibility of the gift shop closing… Well, Ally didn’t even want to contemplate that.

Jess stood and started unpacking the shopping bags. “Nana rang this afternoon to tell me about Seth’s wedding.”

Ally slid onto a bar stool at the kitchen island and rested her chin on her elbow. “Mmm. Brian told me.”

“She’s worried about you. I’m surprised she hasn’t called you.”

“I’ve been letting everything go to voice mail.” She wasn’t up to dealing with her grandmother yet. Later she’d give her a ring, but right now she needed Jess’s calming presence. Her older sister had always been the perfect one in the family. Petite and beautiful like a china doll, popular, responsible, caring, and kind. Without being the least bit calculating, Jess had a life that pretty much turned out the way she’d wanted it—an adoring husband, two terrific children, a business, and a home in the town she’d grown up in. Sure, Jess had problems, but they were nothing terrible, just minor hiccups that were part of a very happy life.

Sometimes, when Ally was down in the dumps, she couldn’t help feeling a tiny bit envious. Like Jess, she’d had plans, too. She’d thought she and Seth would be together forever. They’d run a coffee shop in Burronga, buy a house in the area, and one day start their own family. But it turned out Seth didn’t want to marry her or stay in Burronga or run a coffee shop with her. He’d had other dreams, dreams he’d never confided, and when he’d left her, it wasn’t just a groom she’d lost but a whole future life as well.

Jess emptied a packet of fish fingers onto a baking tray and tipped frozen peas into a glass container. “Maybe you could take a break for a few weeks. You haven’t had a holiday in ages.”

Ally pulled herself upright. “I couldn’t do that. Who would look after the shop, and where would I go? It’s not as if I can afford a fancy trip overseas.”

“Between me, Nana, and Tyler we could work out a roster for the shop, and you could visit Katrina. You haven’t seen her in ages.”

Katrina had been Ally’s best friend in high school. Ally had thought they would be in and out of each other’s lives forever, but Katrina had moved to Far North Queensland. They e-mailed and Skyped often, but it wasn’t the same as hanging out together like they used to. Visiting Katrina would be great, but the thought of running away didn’t appeal to Ally.

“No, I’m staying right here,” she said.

“Are you sure?” Jess pulled out bowls and cutlery, a line still creased between her brows.

A spasm tightened Ally’s shoulder blades. “Do I look like a fragile, neurotic person? Why does everyone think I’m going to fall to pieces just because my ex-fiancé is getting married?”

Jess worked her lips, seeming uncomfortable. “It has been six years, and you haven’t had another proper boyfriend since.”

Ally sputtered. “But I’ve been on dates! And—and what about Jackson? Doesn’t he count?”

“Jackson ended up stalking you. No, weirdos don’t count. And you haven’t been dating much recently. When was the last time you went on a proper date with a man you were interested in?”

“I don’t know.” Ally picked at the corner of the counter to avoid her sister’s gaze. “Last autumn, I guess.” She’d gone to dinner with a teacher and spent the entire evening regretting saying yes. It wasn’t that she’d had anything specific against him, but it had felt as if she was just going through the motions, agreeing to a date just to prove to herself that she could still catch a man’s attention. Thinking back, she realized over the past six months she’d lost more and more interest in dating. It was as if gradually she’d given up on men. “He was okay, but I wasn’t interested in taking it further.”

“That’s what you always say about your dates. Is it any wonder we think you’re still subconsciously hung up on Seth?”

“We?”

“Me, Brian, Nana, your friends.”

A splinter of ice twisted into Ally’s heart. She’d never really considered how other people viewed her, but now it dawned on her that they must think she was still heartbroken over Seth’s betrayal, that her life had never moved forward after that aborted wedding day. She was a modern-day Miss Havisham, a bitter, jilted spinster trapped forever in her moment of misfortune. A creature to be pitied.

She tossed back her hair. “It’s kind of you to be concerned, but you don’t have to worry. I really am over Seth, and if I haven’t found another steady boyfriend, well, maybe I’m just choosy. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice. I want to be sure to pick someone right for me.”

“But maybe that’s the trouble. Maybe you’re looking for the man to spend the rest of your life with, whereas you should be just going out there and having fun.”

“Having fun?” Ally gaped at her happily married sister who’d been Brian’s sweetheart since the age of twelve and had never spared a glance for another man. “You’re telling me to go out and have fun with just any guy I happen to pick up?”

“I’m not saying be a tramp.” Jess toyed with a wooden spoon, seeming hesitant but determined at the same time. “Just maybe…loosen up a little.”

Loosen up a little. Ally crimped her lips together. So her sister thought the same thing as Nate. Although she’d never couch it in those terms, she also thought Ally was a prissy Goody Two-shoes.

Turning, Ally caught her reflection in the darkened glass of the sliding door. She tried to view herself dispassionately. Because she jogged three mornings a week, her figure wasn’t bad—athletic and trim rather than curvy. Her breasts were okay, her legs better. Her skin was good, but her shoulder-length hair was unfashionably curly and plain brown, not a waterfall of shiny black like Jess’s. The skirt and blouse she wore were suitable for working in the shop, but they were nothing special, and her flat pumps were practical but kind of boring. In fact, her whole appearance was washed out, unremarkable.

The crack in her heart widened. For the first time in years she was seeing herself as she truly was, and she didn’t like what she saw. She pressed a hand to her sternum as panic welled up. What had she been doing all these years? What was she going to do now? Was it too late to change?

A chorus of toddler noise interrupted them as two naked boys tore into the kitchen, pursued by a harassed Brian clutching two sets of pajamas. With a snort of laughter Jess corralled her twins and began helping her husband clothe the squirming boys. Ally watched the everyday family scene while her inner storm continued to squall. She was an onlooker. She’d always believed one day she’d have a starring role in her own happy family play, but maybe she was wrong. Maybe she’d never get this part. Maybe her role was something else altogether.

Whatever it was, it was time to go looking for it.



Friday night was just warming up at the Red Possum when Ally drove past. A small crowd had spilled out onto the sidewalk, their gales of laughter swirling into the night. She glanced at the women lounging in their tight jeans and high-heeled shoes, drinking and chatting with the men, and she wondered if they were having fun. Maybe they were. Maybe she should pull over and join them.

But she didn’t. Instead she drove up the hill and edged her car into the narrow alley beside the gift shop. She got out and walked round to the front of the building where a side door, separate from the shop, opened onto the stairs that led up to her apartment. This part of town was usually quiet and deserted at night. Her shoes clicked on the pavement as she walked, the keys to her door in her hand.