“No, I don’t see why it would.” He followed her relentlessly. “Why would you feel the need to run away? After all, you were the one who dumped me. I should be the one scuttling for cover, not you. You should be waltzing around, bragging about how you had me practically begging for you before you kicked me in—”
“Stop it,” she hissed. “You don’t know anything. Do you see me waltzing and bragging? You’re not the only one who feels as if you’ve been kicked in the guts.”
He stared at her. “Then why…”
The stunned pain etched on his face made her heart contract. Had she really hurt him that much? Was it real love or just injured pride? She put her hands up to ward him off. “Please, Nate. Please let’s not do this now, here. I can’t—” She gulped in some air. “I can’t go through this postmortem. Can’t you just be satisfied that I’m hurting, too?”
Beneath his jacket his chest heaved. His arms hung at his sides, hands twitching with the force of his emotion. “I’m not satisfied that you’re hurting.”
Now he really did sound like he cared for her. Maybe she’d read him all wrong the other day. Maybe he really loved her, only he couldn’t put it in words so instead he’d given her the key to his house. Her body shook as if a giant wave had slammed into her. If Nate loved her, really loved her, then that scared her even more. His love was both a promise and a threat. If she gave in to it, she’d become a hostage to him, trapped in a wild ride. With him, the highs would be incredibly high, and the lows would be equally extreme and crushing, and that frightened her. She wouldn’t survive the crashes of the lows.
“Neither of us is satisfied. Let’s just leave it at that.” She pushed her feet into her shoes, trying to gather herself. “Sometimes things don’t work out, despite our best intentions. I never meant to hurt you, Nate.” She glanced around the rose garden bursting with symbols of love. The perfumed air stung her throat. “Just look at where we are, these beautiful roses. Mr. Cummings planted them for Roseanne, and he still enjoys them even though she was unfaithful and ran off with another man. It doesn’t make sense to us, but it does to him.”
He stared at her as if she’d uttered gobbledygook. “Oh, God.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, his voice weary. “I hope you don’t think I’m like Mr. Cummings.”
“Of course I don’t—”
“He’s a nice man, but he doesn’t know jack about women. Roseanne ran rings around him even before they were married. She hooked up with just about anything that moved. In fact she was having an affair with—”
She looked up expectantly as he came to an abrupt halt. “With whom?”
He glanced away. “It doesn’t matter.” But the tension in his face told her otherwise. He rubbed the back of his neck, and finally his breath gusted out. “Okay, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but Roseanne was having an affair with Robbie. He told me they were thinking of going somewhere new, shacking up together. I’ll never know if that was really the plan or just Robbie boasting, because a few days later he had his car accident.”
Oh, no. She knew Robbie hadn’t had any scruples when it came to women, but Mr. Cummings’s wife? Surely he could have resisted her questionable charms. And by the expression on Nate’s face, he thought the same.
“I suppose you tried to talk him out of seeing Roseanne,” she said.
Nate snorted. “You think he’d listen to his kid brother? He didn’t care.”
But Nate did. He cared that his brother had made a cuckold of poor Mr. Cummings. Even though the affair had never become public knowledge, still it had bothered Nate. She stared up at him as realization burst over her like a thousand-watt light.
“Is that why you bought the building from Mr. Cummings? You were trying to make up for what Robbie did?”
He shrugged, keeping his profile turned away from her. “I thought it’d be a good investment. Didn’t realize a teenager was going to ram a stolen car through it.”
He didn’t fool her one bit. It had always puzzled her why someone as business-savvy as Nate had bought Mr. Cummings’s building, and now she finally knew why. Even though Robbie was long dead, and Mr. Cummings long divorced, still he felt compelled to set things right, if only in his own mind.
“Well, it was a very generous thing to do anyway,” she said. “Mr. Cummings needed to sell that building to fund his retirement. You came along at just the right time.”
His mouth twisted sardonically. “Yes, my timing is impeccable, isn’t it?”
There was a tense pause. Nervously, Ally said, “I see you’re very popular with the mayor now.”
He grunted. “That’s me. Mr. Popular at the moment. With some people, at least.”
Ally took a step back. She shouldn’t be alone here with him. “Uh, well, this has been interesting.” She backed farther away from him until she found the path again. “I think I’ll go back there.” She tilted her head in the direction of the noise coming from the other side of the garden.
He didn’t try to stop her. She retraced her steps, and when she reached a bend in the path she paused to glance back at Nate. He was still in the rose garden, but he wasn’t looking at her. Instead he was gazing at the blood red roses surrounding him, a frown on his face, as if he couldn’t work out how he’d gotten there.
“Why did you tell that friend of yours she could take over our shop?” Nana adjusted her glasses and scowled across the table to where Ally sat finishing her oatmeal. It was only seven thirty in the morning, but Nana had already driven over, hell-bent on quizzing Ally before she had a chance to escape to Canberra.
“If you’re talking about Tyler, then why shouldn’t she?” Ally countered. “And ‘our shop’ doesn’t exist anymore.”
“But we were the tenants there. We should get first option when the building is repaired.” She crimped her lips at the glossy brochure sitting in front of Ally’s bowl. “I don’t know why you want to waste your time at university when you have a solid business right here. Which you seem so eager to give away to that Tyler Jones.”
Ally set down her spoon with a sudden clunk and pressed her hands against the table edge. “Tyler is one of my best friends, Nana, and I won’t have you talking about her like that. And if I don’t want to continue with the gift shop then you have to respect my wishes.” As her grandmother sat there open-mouthed, Ally pressed on. “And furthermore, Tyler has my best wishes starting up this art gallery and coffee shop. I think it’s a great idea. I used to think of opening a coffee shop myself.”
She stood to carry her empty bowl to the sink, then returned to the table to pick up the brochure detailing the open university day she was about to attend. The sight of her grandmother’s stunned expression sent a twinge through her, but she wouldn’t allow herself to backtrack. Not now. She was in charge of her own life now, no one else.
“Well, Nana?” She slung her bag over her shoulder and picked up her car keys. “Are you going to wish me luck before I leave?” She waited, but her grandmother just sat there not saying a word. Ally turned to go. A second later she heard a chair scraping back, and then her grandmother was at her side.
“Oh, lovey, I’m so sorry. I guess I’m not used to change. Set in my ways, I suppose.” She gripped Ally’s arms, her eyes watering. “Good luck in Canberra. I hope you find something right for you.”
“Thanks, Nana.” Ally squeezed her back, swallowing down the lump in her throat. “I hope so, too.”
She slipped out the house and hurried to her car. But when she’d driven down the street and turned the corner, she found herself slowing down. It was another gorgeous day, and she couldn’t help but be soothed by the spring weather. She cruised toward the town center, noticing the flowers, the trees, the mothers and children ambling along. Soon she passed her old shop, and that got her mulling over Tyler’s business idea. The site was ideal for what her friend had in mind, and a warm, welcoming art gallery and coffee shop would do well here in Burronga. Tyler’s proposition was good, but so was the idea of going to university.
She hooked the first left and continued on with no route in mind. She didn’t really have time to spare, but she had a curious hankering to tour her hometown. When she reached Clifton Gardens a sudden impulse made her pull over, and she got out to walk through the wrought-iron gates of the park. Just past the entrance she halted at Colonel Clifton’s statue. She must have passed it a thousand times without really noticing it, but today it looked remarkably different. The missing tail had been reattached, and the entire statue gleamed.
She moved on and came to the spot where Paige Kerrigan had accosted her just a few weeks ago. She recalled how Nate had suddenly appeared, anxious about the two of them meeting. He’d been anxious for her. Her heart contracted in a corkscrew of bittersweet realization. How sweet of him to be worrying about her. A month ago she would have scoffed at anyone describing Nate as sweet, but now she knew better. She knew the caliber of man he was. Beneath the driven assurance, he had a unique moral compass that led him to do extraordinary things.