He cleared his throat. “You know, I’ve sometimes wondered why you two were so keen to get married. I mean, nineteen is pretty young, don’t you think?”
She drew away from him, fingers smoothing down the creases in her jeans, her attention focused on her task. “Nate, you’re a smart guy,” she said slowly. “Why do you think a nineteen-year-old girl would need to get married?”
The words sunk in after a moment, and he wondered how dumb he must be not to have figured it out before. “You were pregnant?”
She nodded, her fingers working feverishly on the same crease, sliding back and forth across the denim.
“What happened?” he asked.
She spoke haltingly, as if the words had been buried in her for too long. “I got pregnant, and I just couldn’t tell my grandmother or my sister. I don’t know why. Maybe I felt stupid; maybe I felt I’d let down the family. My nana definitely wouldn’t have approved. Seth was also too afraid to tell his parents, so we decided we wouldn’t tell anyone. After all, we’d been going out for ages, so it wasn’t a big surprise that we wanted to get married. Anyway, a week before the wedding, I had a miscarriage.” She paused, her teeth working at her lower lip, her fingers digging into her jeans. “I told Seth we didn’t have to go through with the wedding if he didn’t want to, but he insisted he did. And I wanted to go ahead, too. Well, you know what happened next.”
Nate wiped away the perspiration suddenly beading his upper lip. “You didn’t tell anyone? About the miscarriage?”
She shook her head. “Only my doctor.” She paused to look up at him. “And now you.” Another pause before her face twisted. “Nate, don’t look like that. I shouldn’t have told you. It’s ancient history.”
“No, I’m glad you did.” He grasped her cold hand and rubbed it between his. “God, Seth is such a prick! I could punch him in the face.”
She slipped her hand away from his grasp. “If you think I’m drinking too much tonight because of Seth, then you’re very much mistaken. I’m glad we didn’t get married. Neither of us would have been happy.”
“Then why—”
“Because…” She inhaled slowly. “Every now and then I can’t help thinking about the baby, and I get sad. Even though I would have had a bad marriage with Seth, still, it would have been worth it for…” She swiped at her eyes impatiently. “It’s silly, I know.”
“It’s not silly.” The suppressed pain in her expression tugged at him until it felt as though a giant fishhook had snagged his heart. All these years she’d kept this grief to herself, but for some reason she’d confided in him tonight. Maybe because he wasn’t anyone close to her. Maybe because he just happened to be here at the crucial moment. He pulled her closer, drawing her into the wall of his chest. “I’m sorry. Really sorry.”
She grimaced. “Hey, don’t go all mopey on me. I couldn’t bear it.”
“Okay.” He let her go, wondering why he was reluctant to. “It’s just, I want to do something for you, but what?”
She gazed at him for a while. “Where’s that bottle of wine I bought? It’s disappeared.”
“You sure that’s a good idea?”
“I’m sure it’s a bad idea, but what the hell.” She shrugged. “You can either join me or leave me.”
“In that case, I’d better join you.” Reaching under the couch, he plucked out the bottle still in its paper bag. “When it comes to bad ideas, I’m the king.”
Chapter Seven
Nate sat in his car outside Seth’s parents’ house. The sun was barely scraping above the horizon as he waited impatiently for his cousin to appear. If he’d been younger, he would have banged on the front door and barged into Seth’s bedroom without a qualm. But nowadays he liked to think he wasn’t so bull-headed. So instead of waking up and riling his uncle and aunt, who weren’t exactly his biggest fans anyway, he’d called Seth on his mobile and told him to meet him outside.
The front door opened, and Seth came shuffling out, yawning and scratching. Nate’s fingers drummed faster on the steering wheel as his cousin flopped into the passenger seat next to him. “Hey, what’s up, dude?” Seth mumbled.
Ratbag. Nate felt the blood thudding in his ears as he stared at his cousin. He’d shared his Sydney apartment with Seth for six months. He’d found him an entry-level clerical job at a stockbroking firm. He’d given him money, food, shelter, support. He’d helped him run away from Burronga, and from Ally.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
The snarl in his voice he couldn’t suppress made Seth blink. “Tell you what?”
“She was pregnant. She was carrying your own child.” His skin seethed, like he was covered in fire ants. The feeling had been with him ever since he’d left Ally’s apartment twenty minutes ago. “And you deserted her.”
Realization dawned on Seth’s face. “Shit, are you talking about Ally? What’s she been saying about me?”
“Only the truth.”
“Hey, man, if she told you everything, then you know I didn’t desert her. It—it wasn’t like she was pregnant when I left. Jeez, if she were still up the duff then I would have married her, no sweat. But she had that miscarriage, and—and afterward it got me thinking I didn’t have to marry her after all. Know what I’m saying? It was like, I don’t know, like a second chance—urgh!”
Nate had grabbed his cousin by his T-shirt and hauled him closer until Nate was only inches away from Seth’s perspiring face. Inside his skull, his blood was thrumming. “A second chance?” He bent his head close. “You mean, the miscarriage was your get-out-of-jail card? You miserable jerkwad.”
Seth’s face was suddenly crimson. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he croaked.
Seconds ticked by as Nate glared into his cousin’s bulging eyes, then he suddenly snapped back to sanity. He let go of Seth, trying to contain the exploding emotion within him. He turned on the ignition, gunned the engine, and pulled away from the curb, wheels squealing.
He’d spent the whole night at Ally’s place. At first he hadn’t wanted her to drink alone, so he’d shared the bottle of wine with her while they talked. She didn’t mention Seth or the baby again, and he didn’t pry. They talked mostly about the gift shop, how she was changing things and how her grandma didn’t approve. And then, a glass and a half later, she’d suddenly rested her head on a cushion and fallen asleep. He could have left then, but he didn’t. Instead, he’d carried her into her bedroom and put her to bed. Then he’d stretched out on the couch and eventually slept as well. When he’d woken at six thirty, he’d gone to check on Ally. She was still asleep, clutching onto a pillow as if it were a life raft, and as he’d stared at her, the simmering rage in him had come to a fierce boil, and he’d driven over to Seth’s parents’ house.
Now, as he viewed his cousin, he wondered what the hell had gotten into him. What had he hoped to achieve by rushing over here and confronting Seth? Ally certainly wouldn’t appreciate it.
“I didn’t mean to hurt Ally,” Seth muttered. “I was trying to do the right thing. Is it such a sin to admit I was relieved I didn’t have to get married? That I wasn’t going to be a father at the age of nineteen? Frigging hell, I wasn’t ready for any of that.”
And neither was Ally. Yet she’d had to cope with far more. The miscarriage, yes, had hurt her more than Seth jilting her. She’d needed his support, but instead he’d run away, the selfish coward. Nate spun the Maserati around a corner, engine growling, before he eased up on the accelerator.
“You’re a weasel, you know that?” he said.
“Yeah, okay.” Seth rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess I deserve that. I’m just not good at confrontation like you are.”
Nate snorted. “It’s called having balls, mate.”
Seth didn’t say anything, just picked at his nails. Then he glanced up, curiosity all over his face. “So, are you, like, seeing Ally now?”
“Huh?” Nate jerked his head round. “No, course not. What on earth gave you that idea?”
“She told you about the pregnancy.” Seth massaged his unshaven jaw. “And then you almost punched me out.”
“You deserved it,” Nate growled. “But there’s nothing going on between Ally and me.” He made an impatient gesture with his hand, unsatisfied with how this was turning out. Jeez, he should have just headed straight home. “Look, let’s call it quits then.” He took the next corner at a sedate speed.
“You’re still coming to the wedding, aren’t you?”
He frowned, puzzled by his cousin’s question. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“Just checking.” Seth cracked his knuckles, his usual ploy when he was nervous. “Thing is, I’m going to be swamped by all of Paige’s family and friends at the wedding, and they’re all so la-di-dah. I need someone in my corner.”