“It wasn’t until I was ten and got my pendant necklace that I started to think about everything she told me all those years ago. On my tenth birthday, Valdus gave me the day off and mom sat me down at the table and gave me a small box. I knew that my protector’s pendant was inside. I ripped open that box so fast. Inside was a long necklace with a simple flame pendant attached. It was perfect. When I put on the necklace, it felt like pins and needles were spreading throughout my body. I didn’t know what was happening. Mom started talking, trying to distract me from the slight pain. After a couple of seconds, the pain went away. It all exited my body and settled in the pendant. I don’t know how to describe it exactly, but I knew from that day, everything was going to change. Nothing would be the same.”
Liam pauses and looks off to the far side of the room. He clears his throat before he turns toward me again. I see the gloss in his gaze. He’s trying to hide his sadness. I squeeze his hand, telling him that I’m still here. I don’t know if Liam has ever told anyone this story before. I know how easy it is to get lost in a memory. He gives me a small smile and continues.
“Bragden and I would take turns helping mom. She would try to do everything she did before, but it was difficult. She couldn’t go upstairs. At this point, Bragden was thirteen. Though he was young, Bragden was already bigger than everyone else. He would carry Mom upstairs every night and then back down every morning. I started preparing the meals. She would help me, but it wasn’t the same. I remember that every night Bragden would bring Mom into the living room and we’d all sit around the fire. I would sit across from her on the couch and read to her. I would read whatever she gave me for the night. Mom would always tell me that she loved hearing my voice. It didn’t matter what I was reading, as long as she could listen to me speak.
“I could tell that she was starting to get frustrated in herself. Her flame wasn’t getting any brighter. In fact, its illumination was dwindling. We didn’t know what we could do to help. She tried to put on a strong face around us, but we knew. She wasn’t the same. The accident changed her.
“A month after I turned ten, I was training with Tranton when I received the news that my mother had committed suicide. My strong, fearless mother took her own life. She swallowed a bunch of her pain medications and left a note explaining how sorry she was, but she couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t stand the pitied looks from the neighbors. She couldn’t stand seeing us worry over her. She couldn’t stand everyone wanting to help her. All her life, she’d been in control and suddenly she wasn’t. She didn’t know how to handle the sudden change. She even said in the note that her flame was dying and it was time to just extinguish it. Apparently, she couldn’t prolong the inevitable. I’ve never told anyone that she committed suicide before. I always thought suicide was the weak way to go. How could I think that when the strongest person I knew made that decision?” Liam shakes his head. I can tell that right now, he’s not with me. He’s inside his memories. “Even now, I still don’t know what I think about it.
“Besides the note, she left Bragden and me both tiny wooden boxes full of random items. Mine had this leather bracelet, my great grandfather’s pocket watch, and Rozene’s wedding ring. I have no idea what was in Bragden’s box. He never told me, and I’ve never asked.
“Bragden and I didn’t have any family to go to, so Valdus took us in. Valdus had previous adopted this mage, Ezra. Ezra was twelve when he came and lived with Valdus and his wife. We did not get along. I don’t know what it was, but Ezra hated me and worshipped Valdus. I don’t think he liked that he was no longer the center of attention all the time. He had to compete for the amount of attention he thought he deserved. As the years passed, Ezra’s disdain for me grew. I tried everything I could to change his feelings toward me, but nothing worked.
“Bragden started training every day. We drifted apart. We both handled mom’s death in different ways. Bragden took his anger out during his training sessions. He was always angry while I was the quiet one. I didn’t express myself like he did. I trained to further my magic. Valdus and I worked on strengthening my dream-walking abilities. I hadn’t come into my powers yet, but I was already showing signs. I could control my dreams. Inside of my dreams, I could literally manipulate whatever I wanted. If I imagined a certain location, I could go there during a dream. If I envisioned a specific scene or event, I would dream about it. It was amazing.