She inspected him. His hair was mussed and his face flushed.
“Oh,” she said, but let it drop.
The music picked back up and Noah crowded into the small space between her and the person next to her at the bar, ordering them both beers. He was so close she could smell a woman’s perfume on him. Her heart deflated a little; she didn’t know why. They weren’t together. It wasn’t her place to be upset he’d been with someone else, especially since she’d told him to do it. He’d actually been respectful by doing it outside their condo, which allowed her the fantasy that they had something special. They laughed and enjoyed each other. He was showing her many ways she liked to be touched by him, but they were neither dating nor a couple. Emery tried to scoot away from him and give him some room.
He handed her a new beer and leaned into her, yelling in her ear so she could hear him. “So, where are you taking me on my date?”
“Were you just on a date?” The words slipped out before her brain caught up, and she was mortified. It was none of her business.
His lips were a fraction of an inch away from hers. His breath was warm on her lips and she rearranged herself on the barstool instead of kissing him. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up the stairs, giving up her prime barstool real estate. She followed him, wondering what he was doing. He pulled her onto the back patio, which was empty due to the band inside. They looked at each other once they were by themselves. Emery was mesmerized by his tight navy sweater and could stare at him all night. He broke eye contact first, ran a hand through his hair, and sighed.
“It doesn’t matter where I am, Em. I’m always with you.” His eyes found hers again and held them with such intensity it was her turn to look away.
“I…” She twirled a curl around her finger, not knowing what to say. Her hair was now a light caramel color, since she’d let her brown dye fade over the past few months. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your date. It’s just when I got these tickets, you’re the only one I wanted to go with.”
“You didn’t interrupt anything important,” he assured her, beaming. “Who are we seeing, by the way?” He reached around her and pulled the envelope out of her back pocket. His nearness caused her body to react. Her breath hitched and her eyes fluttered up to his lips. Noah pushed her against the brick wall and kissed her.
It started slowly and cautious, his hands on the wall next to her head, but once she put her hand inside his sweater to feel his skin, he pulled her hair back and kissed her neck frantically.
“Noah,” she moaned into his mouth. He tasted of spearmint.
He took a step back and smiled. “Sorry, Em. I lost myself for a minute.” He rubbed his face with his palms.
Her hand fell out from under his sweater, where she’d been outlining his abs. She wanted to commit this moment to her memory. She’d flustered him. Emery was amused and stepped toward him, closing the gap he’d put between them.
“I’m taking you to see Counting Crows and then I’m taking you home. To my bed.” Emery had just gotten the last word out when he attacked her mouth like a man possessed. His stubble rubbing her face pulled her from her unrealistic fantasy of them. Her entire body froze. This is why she couldn’t do this. The memories would never allow her to be normal; a five o’clock shadow would forever send her retreating into the coffin of her mind. She wiggled out of his grasp, the memory of Phil’s touch haunting her.
Noah stood there, chest heaving, his eyes intense on her. “What just happened?”
“Nothing.” Lies. Emery straightened her clothes and smoothed her hair, then started moving toward the door. “We should go and get our seats.”
He grabbed her hand, pulling her into him again. “I’m going to find where you go,” Noah said into her ear, his lips grazing the lobe sending chills down her body. His body was hard behind her and she wanted to melt into him, but he was doing all the wrong things for her mind to relax. “I’m going to find where you go and lock the door so that you can never go back.”
Without realizing it, Noah had left no doubt in her mind they could never be what he wanted them to be and that try as she may, she was not Emily Sanders. Emily Sanders didn’t even exist. How could he even look at her that way? It made her sad for him. She was a pile of lies on top of deceit with a cherry of bullshit on top and he thought she was someone else. He thought he knew her.
No one knew her. Hell, she didn’t even know herself.
They walked silently over to the Ryman. She read the history of “The Mother Church of Country Music,” as they entered the venue and then found their seats. The seats were pretty small and Emery found herself pressed up against Noah. He smelled of a mixture of his usual cologne and a perfume that was definitely not him. Emery’s mind was on overdrive.