“For that. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for months now. Happy birthday.”
“Don’t be sorry for that. That was…” she put her fingers to her lips.
“Life altering?” he joked.
“Something like that,” she responded honestly as she cocked her head to the side to really look at him.
“If you don’t get off me soon, I may do other things to you that I’ve been wanting to.” His tone was joking, but she didn’t miss the desire in his eyes.
Her eyes widened and she quickly eased herself off his lap. She wanted his heat back on her, his tongue in her mouth. “I don’t know if I can do that.” Her voice was barely there, it sounded like she had laryngitis.
“I know.” He nodded. “I want to show you that every guy isn’t like him. I’ll never touch you if you don’t want me to.”
“I want you to,” she whispered. “I just don’t know if I can...” her words trailed off.
“We’ll just see. I’ll do what you tell me to do and that’s it.”
His brown eyes showed his sincerity and she trusted him. Emery had no idea that he’d wanted to kiss her all this time. It had appeared all year that he just wanted to do his own thing and stay to himself. She didn’t care that Noah had all the girls he wanted—it made it easier for her to ignore the fact that he was a boy. Now there was only his touch. He wouldn’t ask her for things she couldn’t give him.
“Kiss me,” she urged.
And he did.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Certainties
Emery heard two knocks on her door before Noah opened it and walked in. She was in the middle of making her daily hash mark in the journal Rachel bought her for her birthday. She couldn’t bring herself to do anything in it other than make a mark for the days she hadn’t been raped. Her life was in a sort of purgatory. She was free from some things, but trapped by others. At least she’d moved from the hidden Bible to a journal. It was a step.
“So, I have a buddy who’s selling his old 4Runner. What do you think?” Noah asked, leaning against the wall facing her desk. He was in athletic shorts, as usual. Emery had only seen him in other clothes once or twice.
“How much?” she asked as she closed the journal and put it under a pile of clothes on her desk.
“He’s selling it for twelve, but for you, I talked him down to eight. It’s a kickass deal. Let’s go.” Noah left her room for his.
Emery contemplated the price for the SUV and then walked to her closet, looking through the boxes for the right one. She sat down and opened her Frye boots box and started counting cash. She didn’t hear Noah enter the room again.
“Holy shit!” Noah exclaimed, eying all the cash in the box. He’d pulled on a Vandy Football t-shirt that stretched tight across his chest.
Emery kept counting, ignoring him.
“How did you get all that cash?”
“When my parents died,” she lied.
“But why…” Noah shook his head, apparently deciding not to ask his question.
Emery closed the box and put it back in her closet. She shoved the eight thousand dollars in her behemoth Michael Kors purse and then looked at him. Their exchanges had been awkward at best since they’d kissed on her birthday last week, but she’d noticed that he hadn’t brought any girls back to the condo since then. She sighed as she took in his all-American features. “I didn’t want to open a bank account since he might be looking for me.” She shrugged. “Let’s go get this 4Runner.”
His face fell in realization. “Oh, I didn’t…”
“You wouldn’t, Noah. It’s okay. I hope you never have to worry like I worry every day. It destroys faith and hope and everything good.”
This was the truth.
“But…” Noah’s face scrunched up like he was trying to come up with the cure for cancer. “You feel safe here, right?” He opened the front door for her and she walked out into the sunshine and put on her sunglasses.
She waited for him to lock the front door before she spoke. “You make me feel safe, Noah, but I’m worried it’s a false sense of safety,” she said to his back.
“I’ll fuck anyone up that tries to mess with you,” he assured her as they walked to his Jeep Cherokee. He opened the passenger door for her and helped her in.
She sat, looking forward as he stood at the door. “I’m sure you would, but I don’t want it to come to that. If he finds me, I’ll leave. I’m not going to get you involved in the hell I lived through.”
She secured her seatbelt as he walked to the driver’s side and slid behind the wheel. He cranked the SUV and then reached for her hand, which was casually on the center console.