Raw and Dirty(19)

I stand up and start to pace, my conscience gnawing at me in a way I never expected.

I blew the whistle on the Alpha Wolves. Me. Not my dad. And I didn't even have anything on them, just a favor and a friend from college. I did my best not to think too hard about that when Royal had me pinned against the wall, when he asked point blank about it. But I didn't technically lie about anything, did I?

No, I didn't lie. All I did was sleep with the guy.

I take a deep breath and stop pacing for a moment, putting my hands on my lower back as I try to force my pounding heart to calm. But it's not beating that quickly because I lied, because I'm getting myself tangled in something as dangerous as this; it's beating because I'm letting myself get tangled in him.

A knock at the door startles me so badly that I jump, my heart slamming into my throat as I turn towards it and pause. It's only eight-thirty, so it's not like it's late or anything, but I don't often get unexpected visitors after dark.

“Coming!” I call as cheerfully as I can, sneaking to the curtains and taking another peek outside.

It's my brother.

Goddamn it.

“What do you want, Sully?” I ask as I open the door a crack, leaving the chain intact. “There is such a thing as text messaging, you know. Or phone calls, remember those? Email?”

“Stop being a smart ass and let me in, Lyric.” I sigh and push the door closed, removing the chain and stepping back for all six foot three of my brother's imposing frame. He's almost as big as Royal. Almost. Although if I had to make a comparison between the two of them, I'd say they were complete opposites. My brother is all spit and polish while Royal is raw and unfinished. Nobody would ever mistake one of them for the other.

“I know you called Brent.”

I cringe. Crap. I was kind of hoping to keep that under wraps for the time being. Having Sully know is like having my father know.

“I talked to Dad about it after dinner tonight,” he says and my heart plummets to my feet. Of course he did. I kick off my heels and bend down to grab them, trying to keep my cool and not descend into any sort of panic.

“All I'm trying to do is get Dad re-elected,” I say, which is at least partially true. I do want Dad to get re-elected, but I also want the entire office to know I mean business, that I can get things done that nobody else was capable of. Not even Toni Gladstone. “Brent's not even here on a real investigation. He's just looking around, trying to scare up some concern, so I can get Royal and the Wolves to sign on the dotted line.”

Sully tightens his mouth and slides his fingers through his dark brown hair.

“If Brent's not here on business, then why the hell does have an informant? An informant for what?”

I blink back at him, my heels clutched tight in my fingers. The wood floor beneath my feet feels suddenly cold.

“An informant?” I ask, a sick feeling taking hold in my stomach.

“Yeah, he bragged to me about it over a couple beers last night.” My brother pauses and glances around, like he's never seen my place before. I think he's just never bothered to look. His brows raise up at my massive collection of decorative throw pillows. There are worse things to be addicted to, right? “The vice president or something. Can you even believe that? Guess there really is no honor among thieves.”

“Brent told you all of that?” I ask, my voice breathy and light. Swearing in a new vice president. That's what that party was for. So what, exactly, happened to the old one? “Shouldn't all that stuff be confidential?”

“Yeah, well, he's an FBI agent by day and a normal guy by night. We've been best friends since college. The man tells me everything.”

“We've been friends since college,” I say, thinking about Brent's bright, easy smile and his honey wheat hair. We dated for a while, but I kind of got the sense from him that he'd rather have a trophy on his arm than a partner by his side. But we've remained in touch all this time. Apparently he's also been in constant contact with Sully.

“Whatever. Does that really matter? I was just in the neighborhood and I wanted to stop by and say … good job.”

My gaze snaps up as my brother smiles down at me. Good job? Like I need his approval. Still, it feels better than I care to admit. Maybe a little piece of me still wants my family to think I'm worth something. I thought I'd let go of that wish a long time ago, but it's still here, small and tiny inside of me.

“Dad's proud, too, though I know he'll never say it. You're taking the initiative to get the job done, no matter the cost. That's the only way to succeed in life.” Sully smiles and reaches out to give my shoulder a gentle squeeze. It's almost awkward, but I pretend that it's not. “Looks like we'll be getting rid of the Wolves either way, huh?” My stomach flip-flops and I nod. All I really want is for Sully to leave, so I can think. “Just be careful, okay?” he says as I look up and make myself smile.