"Believe me, I know. Maybe I can talk her into it."
"Let me know so I can arrange everything. I'll get Zane to tell his people to put you guys on the guest list."
"And . . . you'll be there?"
"I'll be around, yeah." His mood had brightened considerably after hearing from her, but as the reality of the situation sank back in, it darkened once again. "I won't make you tell me to steer clear. I know. If either of you need anything, I'm there and you have my number, but other than that, I'll keep my distance."
"Mike . . ." Something helpless and sad in her voice. It stilled everything inside him. Heart, lungs, life itself. It all seemed to pause, on hold, waiting for her thoughts. "I'm sorry," she finished, and everything reluctantly started back up again, a little sadder, a little grimmer.
"You don't have to apologize to me, Savannah. Ever."
"How have you been?"
He thought of the trio in the locker room, the shifty gazes, the violated sanctuary. The ghosts. Rubbing his forehead, he told her, "I'm hanging in there. Just got done at the gym. What about you?"
"I spent the day with Rowan, planning the nursery. I'm hanging in there too, I guess. It's hard."
"I know."
"She seems a little better today. The idea of getting to meet your brother turned her into a screeching fangirl for a few minutes. Despite everything, I think she might have a tiny bit of a crush."
He burst out laughing at that. "Oh, God. In that case, I hope she's not incredibly disappointed. I'll have to tell him to be on his best behavior."
"So, is he . . . bad?"
"No, not really. I try to keep him humble. Everything blew up so fast for them, I guess he's dealing with it as best he can."
"The fighter and the singer. What does your other brother do?"
Hell only knew. "He's the player."
"Is he famous too, then?" Amusement tinged her voice.
"Among certain circles. He's a poker champ with his own nightclub. I have no idea what he's up to most of the time." Which was probably a good thing. The poker room alone carried the threat of a felony.
"You have a very interesting family, Michael."
You don't know the half of it, he thought, his mouth setting in a tight line. No one, not even Jon, knew everything they'd had to endure to survive, let alone make something of themselves. A lot of sweat and tears. More than a little blood.
If he had his way, no one would ever know, though the media had become quite fond of unearthing the dried-up bones of his past ever since Tommy Dugas died at his hands. He didn't doubt there were people who, if they'd dug deep enough, believed he had done it on purpose, that his fighting was only an outlet to work out some innate violence and aggression. It was simply all he'd ever known, all he'd ever been good at. Maybe if he could sing like Zane or read people like Damien, he would be doing something different with his life.
But it wasn't to be.
"Are you still there?" Savannah asked, and he made an effort to shake himself out of his mental funk. For her.
"Yeah, I'm here. So I'll talk to Zane, and you let me know if you change your mind about flying. I think you should, but it's up to you. Say the word and I can have a car pick you up at the airport and bring you to the venue."
"Tell you what, leave it to me," she said confidently. "I will make sure the girl gets on a plane."
"All right. Talk to you soon?"
Now it was her turn to be silent until he almost asked if she was still there. But whatever her moment was about, it passed as well. "Sure. Bye, Mike."
Savannah stared at her phone for a good two minutes after hanging it up, muddling through the mix of sweet and sour, comfort and sorrow talking to Mike always evoked in her. She might as well face it: he was someone she desperately wished she could have met under different circumstances. But no matter how she loathed it, these were their circumstances, and there was nothing to be done about them.
Sighing, she placed her phone aside and tucked her legs underneath her, staring across her living room to the family portrait hanging on her wall. The Dugas family in its entirety: her mom and dad, herself, Tommy and Rowan. All wearing white and smiling in bright, beautifully green surroundings. None of them with any idea what the future held.
She'd almost told Mike that she wanted to see him. That his being around wasn't enough. But it was no use, because she would be with Rowan, and Rowan wouldn't have it. She had to respect her wishes above all else.
Hopefully this entire thing wasn't a disaster waiting to happen.
"What would you think?" she asked her brother's image, but of course Tommy had no answer for her. He'd never really fit into the protective older brother bit, if only because Savannah had never needed much protecting, preferring to get herself out of her own messes. She was at a loss, though, in a situation like this. "That's what I thought," she muttered, leaning her head back on the couch. She might have even dozed for a while; when the phone rang it jarred her out of a dream about Mike Larson's cold blue eyes turning as warm as the summer sky.
It was Rowan. "I decided on the sage," she said by way of greeting.
"We're flying," Savannah replied, bracing herself for the outcry.
"Okay," Rowan said simply.
"Wait, really? I expected you to howl your outrage about turbulence and recycled air, especially since you can't drink."
"I'm getting to meet Zane. I'll fly an hour for that. I'd probably fly ten hours for that."
"Well. That was easy."
"And I'm going to your parents' for dinner tonight. Are you coming?"
Savannah frowned. Her mom had made the invitation, but she hadn't felt up to it at all. "I don't think so."
"Why not?"
"Not in the mood."
"Savvy? I think you're alone too much."
Maybe she was. But sitting at her parents' dinner table looking around at nothing but gloomy faces staring back at her own gloomy face damn sure wouldn't lift her spirits any. Give her cold pizza, Netflix, and a Corona any day. Good as therapy. So she told herself.
"I like being alone."
"I know, but . . ." Rowan sighed. She knew by now how well arguing would work. "Never mind."
Hell. Maybe she should go. She knew what Rowan was thinking; Savannah had never really dealt with any of this. Well, they didn't see her behind closed doors, didn't see the mess she was sometimes. And that was exactly the way she liked it; no one needed to see that. So home it was-she was feeling a little raw tonight. "Thanks, though. And I'm serious, Rowan . . . Mom doesn't need to know a thing about us going to Houston. Agreed? You won't crack?"
"No," Rowan said with a heavy, exasperated sigh. "I won't crack."
She'll most definitely crack, Savannah thought.
Chapter Six
"I have a pooch!" Rowan exclaimed.
"Um, you're pregnant. Of course you have a pooch."
"But I'm only ten weeks. I thought I wouldn't show until, I don't know, four months."
Having never been pregnant, Savannah had no personal experience, but even she nearly spit out the drink of water she'd just taken. "Yeah, that sounds highly improbable. But you're tiny, Ro. It makes sense you would show early." She eyed Rowan's almost nonexistent "pooch," mostly hidden under her sparkly T-shirt, and giggled. "That could be a baby or it could be a cheeseburger. You can barely tell it's there."
"I can. My jeans are so tight."
"But your boobs are rockin'," Savannah pointed out. She was a little jealous, considering herself lacking in that particular area. Rowan puffed out her chest in the full-length mirror, sucking in her stomach. Savannah burst out laughing. "Now you just look goofy."
Rowan's overemphasized boobs deflated as she slouched. "I feel kind of goofy. Going backstage at a rock concert knocked up. Hell. What am I doing?"
Savannah met her eyes in the mirror. "You're getting your life back, my dear. There's nothing wrong with that."
"I keep thinking it's too soon. But then I tell myself, it's okay to have fun this one night. Just tonight. Right? I can be sad tomorrow, I can be sad for the rest of this month and all of the next, or the rest of my life if I have to be. I just . . . I need this one night off."
"You deserve it, hon. No one is trying to take it away from you."
"Your mom did."
"And I told you not to tell her, didn't I?"
"It just kind of came out."
Yep. She'd cracked. This might have actually been a new record. "As I knew it would. Anyway, there's no being sad tomorrow, either. Tomorrow is our day." Savannah eyed the inside of her overnight bag critically. Their flight left in three hours, and she was pretty sure she had everything she needed. They would go straight to the venue from the airport, and afterward, Mike had set them up at Hotel ZaZa for two nights. Pool villas. Savannah had drooled over pictures she'd found online, and the closer it grew to time to leave, the more excited she became. She and Rowan both needed this so badly.