Raveling You(7)
Until I know the demon has paid.
On day five of barely sleeping at all, I decided I’d had it with the constant worry and started searching around on the Internet. I’d stumbled across a hacker and met the guy tonight in the park near my neighborhood because he refused to have business meetings over the phone or computer. Not the smartest thing to do on my part, but I’m getting desperate.
Of course when I met him, my worries of whether he was a serial killer or not dissolved. Rebel Tonic—an online name—is a gangly guy younger than me. If he tried anything, I could have taken him if I had to.
He insisted he can find my sister’s whereabouts by hacking into the social service’s records. His fee is more than I have stashed away, so I’m trying to figure out where to come up with the money, and if I can even trust him not to screw me over.
“I can’t tell you.” I offer Lyric an apologetic look, wordlessly begging her to please be understanding like she normally is.
Her mouth plummets to a hurt frown. “Why not? You know I’ll keep whatever you tell me a secret.”
“I know you will… that’s not the problem.” I tangle our fingers together and guide her to the bed, drawing her with me as I sit down. “Trust me, it’s not because I don’t want to tell you. I just don’t want to get you into trouble if I get caught. It’s better if you don’t know what I’m up to just in case our parents find out… It’s better if you’re in the dark, at least for now.”
“You’re worrying me. Is it…?” She bites on her bottom lip. “You’re not doing anything illegal or dangerous are you? Like… drugs?”
“What! Drugs… do you really think that about me?”
She looks shamefaced. “No, but… I heard Aunt Lila whispering it to my mom the other day. I think she’s worried about you because you seem so… depressed.” Caution creeps into Lyric’s voice, probably worried she’s crossing a line with the remark about my emotions.
“I know she is.” And I feel bad. The last thing I ever want is for anyone to worry about me. I wish I could be happier so my family could relax, but I feel so depressed all the time. “I’m not doing drugs, though.”
“I figured you weren’t, but I had to ask.” She intently studies me with her green eyes then her bottom lip juts out into a full-on pout. “You really won’t tell me what’s going on?”
It’s difficult to tell her no when she looks as adorable as she does right now. I just want to kiss her lip, suck it in my mouth…
“Lyric… I…” Her pout deepens and I sigh. “You know, when I first met you I thought you used to do the whole pouting thing unintentionally.” I tuck a strand of her long, blond hair behind her ear, highly aware of how badly my fingers tremble and the way her breath hitches in her throat. “But now I’m starting to wonder if you know exactly what you’re doing.”
“So does it work?” she asks, hopeful. “Does it mean you’ll tell me where you were?”
“Not yet… but soon maybe. If I feel like it’s safe to.”
“How soon is soon, though? Because you’ve got me really, really worried about you, to the point where it’s hard to think about anything else.”
“I don’t want that. You don’t need to put so much… effort into being my friend all the time, especially with how much of a burden I’ve been lately.”
“Like I could simply just quit.” She shakes her head and her smile brightens. “You’re my favorite person. And it’s hard to just stop thinking about my favorite person. But think of it this way, the sooner you tell me what’s up, the less time I’ll have to spend stressing.”
“I wish I could tell you now.” I withdraw my hand from her hair as the compassion in her eyes becomes unbearable. The way she looks at me sometimes, like I’m everything to her… No one has ever looked at me that way, and it feels unnatural. “I just don’t know if it’s okay yet.” Safe yet.
“So vague.” Her gaze drops to my hand as I flex my fingers. “Can I just ask one more thing, though?”
I nod. “Of course.”
“You’re … You’re not seeing anyone, are you? Like dating someone or something?” She angles her head forward, her face blocked by her hair.
“Huh?” I’m so confused. I haven’t shown signs of wanting to heat up our friendship boundaries again, but that doesn’t mean I’ve shown signs of wanting to be with anyone else. “No. Again, what’s with the weird assumption?”