Nanette had me sift through the racks of dresses and pull any that I wanted to try. I pulled the first few away from the rest of the bunch and shook my head immediately. They were beautiful and elegant, but too simple. I knew I was looking for something a little more romantic. A big princess gown was certainly out, so there went nearly half of the dresses they'd brought. I began to worry that I wouldn't find something that I loved after all. I fingered through a few more dresses and separated them from the bunch tentatively. I found myself drawn to the simple A-line dresses with small and beautiful details like beading and lace. I smirked to myself when I pulled out a few lace dresses that Carter would love.
I picked a few more out of the bunch and then nodded that I was ready to try on a few. The associate helped me into the first dress and it was an immediate no. The drop waist wasn't flattering. The second dress was strapless, which I didn't love either; it wasn't the most flattering cut for my slightly curvy figure. I skipped over a few dresses that were strapless and landed on an intricate lace and beaded A-line with a halter neck. The assistant zipped me into it. It was beautiful, but it felt too fussy in some ways, and I said so. I turned in the mirror with a frown.
"Well, when you get yourself into a situation that requires buying off the rack, options are limited." The assistant looked pointedly at my tummy. Realization dawned that she was insinuating that I was pregnant and this was a shotgun wedding. I glared at her.
"That is not the situation, actually. If you aren't willing to be helpful I'd be happy to take my business elsewhere." I held her gaze in the reflection of the mirror. Her eyes flickered for a moment before an apologetic smile crossed her face.
"Of course, I’m sorry."
Nanette shot the assistant a warning glance then proceeded to unzip the dress.
"We'll find something you love," she said with a genuine smile. She pulled another dress I'd picked off of the hanger and helped me step into it. She pulled the soft white fabric over my body and then turned to fasten the buttons on the back. I turned in the mirror to look at myself, catching my breath. Tears sprang to my eyes as I ran my hands over the white lace of the dress. It was intricate and stunning. Lace covered the dress from top to bottom, extending over a sweetheart neckline and up to my collarbone where it was sheer and romantic. The dress fell in a slight A-line with delicate lace cap sleeves giving it a vintage feel.
I turned in the mirror to see the back. While the front was covered fully, the back was almost entirely open. The fabric dipped down to my lower back, that favorite place that Carter liked to interlock his hands when he hugged me close to him. The curve of my back was on display up until the lace met the cap sleeves and connected at the top of my shoulder blades with a few delicate buttons. The dress had a small lace train that drifted behind my feet. It was stunning and intricate and sexy and simple; it was everything I was looking for.
Tears choked my throat as I nodded my head at Nanette.
"Perfect.” Her reflection was beaming behind me.
"Yes," I whispered as I wiped a tear from my cheek. "It's perfect." I smiled and twirled in the mirror again. And Carter would love it.
"I love it too. It was made for you." Nanette smiled happily. "We'll just take a few measurements to check the length, make sure it doesn’t need taking in. Do you have the shoes you'll be wearing?"
"No." My eyes flashed in disappointment. I'd completely forgotten about shoes.
"No worries, dear. I've brought along some samples, I've got a pair in mind that will be absolutely perfect with this dress." She gestured to the assistant. "The Manolos." She waved her off before dropping to her knees and busying herself with a tape measure.
I watched my reflection in the mirror as my hands slid over the fabric. I imagined Carter’s reaction the first time he would see it. I imagined him waiting for me at the end of some sort of makeshift aisle, since I wasn't even sure what he had planned.
I was never sure if marriage was necessarily in the cards for me, I knew from a young age that children certainly wouldn't be, but when Carter said those words to me, kneeled before me, I'd completely surrendered to the fact that my future was with him.
My heart swelled at the memory. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair for the rest of my life. Gaze into his steely blue eyes, wake up to that crooked smirk. I loved him with my entire heart, fully and completely. I couldn't stay away from Carter because I wasn't meant to. He had consumed me from day one and I had consumed him—we were meant to live our lives with each other. It had been rocky, and I was sure we would continue to face bumps in the road, but I also knew that living without him in my life wasn't an option anymore.