Rapture and Lace(29)

Carter slid his jeans down and thrust inside me before I had time to ride the high of my first orgasm.

I groaned at the instant fullness and propelled my hips into him, rocking wildly as he pounded in and out of me.

"You make me so fucking mad, Evangeline." Carter gritted through his teeth and held my gaze with his own fiery blue eyes.

"Why do you make me so fucking mad?" He grabbed one of my bare legs and twisted it to the side in front of him, then held both my ankles together so he was pounding me sideways. The increased friction had me panting in pleasure and I felt my release burning hot in my belly.

"I don't know," I panted out to him.

"You’re the only one that's ever made me feel this way. I love you so much, but you make me so fucking angry." He punctuated the last word with another deep thrust. So this was another angry fuck from Carter. In some fucked up part of my brain I registered that they may have been my favorite kind.

"You do it to me too. You make me mad," I panted as he hammered, one hand sliding up my bare thigh holding my hip roughly to keep me steady. My hand clenched around his forearm and my nails dug into his flesh.

"You can't run on me, Eva. You always fucking run, but you're not fucking running this time. I won't let you. We're married, you're mine."

"God…" I groaned in pleasure, his words spurring my release. "I’m not. I won't." A moan escaped my lips.

"You can't be another person that leaves me. I won't let you." He pumped frantically, fast and long and deep and my release ripped through my body, searing-hot pleasure spiking through my system. My head fell back against the hood of the car and my body was wracked with heavy pants as I tried to catch my breath and let my brain calm from the blissful high.

Carter pounded and slammed into my body, holding both of my ankles in one hand and angling in with his other holding my hips tightly. He pounded again, full and deep and then shuddered and groaned with his own release, his face twisting in a combination of pain and pleasure. His chest heaved as he released both of my legs and collapsed between my thighs.

I came down from my high and instantly remembered that I was half naked in the mountains in October. My body shivered and Carter slowly pulled away.

"I’m sorry," I whispered to him. His eyes flicked to mine with a look of intense sadness. My lips parted slightly in shock, Carter was always great after sex; it was the one thing guaranteed to boost his mood, but he looked more devastated than ever.

"No, I’m sorry, Eva." He pulled his pants up and reached down to hand me mine. I watched him pocket my lace panties and turn away from me. I sat naked on the hood of the muscle car feeling utterly alone and abandoned, even though I’d just been fucked seven ways from Sunday by the man I loved. I watched his back as he ran one hand through his hair. Sex on the hood of his car hadn't been a stress relief for him—it had somehow created more anxiety.

Tears sprang to my eyes and I wiped them away. I slid off the hood and pulled on my pants then turned to look at him, still facing away from me.

"I'm ready," I whispered. He nodded once and then turned and we both got back in the car. Carter started the engine and we drove home in complete and utter silence.





Chapter Eleven





Monday morning we woke up and packed to leave. We were flying back to Boston and would be home early in the evening. All day Sunday an uncomfortable silence had fallen over us. The tension in the house was palpable as we went through the motions. I checked work emails, did some research on a story I had to write, wandered into the library, and leafed through some books. I even spoke to Cate on the phone for a while. She still had no idea we'd gotten married. And at this rate maybe she would never need to know. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep my mind off our fight and the angry fuck that had left Carter even more despondent.

I was sure Carter had overreacted but maybe I had offended him by bringing up his past in some way. I was so confused, I wasn't sure of anything anymore. And while Carter had only been in my life for a few weeks, he had his patterns, and lovey post-orgasm Carter was who I’d grown used to; somber post-orgasm Carter was new, and frankly, I was afraid.

I had been worried about going back to Boston, but now I was worried that Carter was worried about being married period. And frankly, maybe I was too. My brain was working in such a confused jumble; I'd lost my appetite and felt on the edge of nausea all day.

I’d gone to bed Sunday night by myself and I’d heard Carter slide in much later, once he thought I was already asleep. He didn't touch me, and slept facing the other way all night. I knew because I had been wide-awake, a softball-sized lump in my throat and an impossible ache in my heart.