We woke up the following Saturday morning with plans to go to a wine festival. It featured local wineries only—Carter loved to discover and support local businesses. Since we both enjoyed wine, it was the perfect way to spend the late fall day.
We held hands as we walked through a park, set up with a dozen or so local wine tents. Each tent had displays with a brief history, beautiful pictures of their estates, and a selection of their best wine. I was wrapped in a chunky, colorblock, cable sweater and leggings and Carter's hand was entwined with mine. He wore a pair of sexy faded blue jeans that fit his bottom so perfectly it was like they were custom fit to his body, which on second thought, perhaps they were. He wore a dark gray V-neck shirt with a sexy leather jacket over it. That coupled with his ever-constant bed-head hair, left my body in a state of semi-arousal.
We walked hand in hand and tasted the wine offerings from each vendor. Carter chatted with the owners and was knowledgeable about wine and grape growing. Was there anything this man didn't know? Carter took a few cards from his favorites saying he would order some when we got home. When he said that word it made my stomach clench.
Carter must have noticed my silence in response because he squeezed my hand as we sat down on a bench overlooking a fountain.
"Everything okay?" He tipped my head up to look in his eyes.
"When are we going back?"
"Home?" he shrugged. "This week. I have a meeting Thursday that I can't miss, I’d like to get home a few days before that to get organized. We've been gone nearly two weeks, Eva." He watched me thoughtfully.
"I know."
"You aren't ready to go?"
"Not really. I love it here." I fiddled with the oversized ring on my finger. The light caught the stones and fractured in a million different directions. It represented my thoughts in that moment. I felt like my heart and my head were being pulled in different directions. My heart would follow Carter anywhere, but my head held so many fears about our future.
"I do too. Especially all of the memories we've made." A small grin cracked his face. "But I have to get back. We can come back soon. We can come for Christmas, unless you want to go to your parents…" he trailed off in question. I shook my head quietly.
"Do you not want to go back to Boston at all?" He narrowed his eyes in confusion.
I sighed deeply, contemplating what to say. "I just love it here… I love us here. It's been perfect…" I trailed off.
"And… you're afraid that back in Boston it won't be perfect?"
I didn't answer as I twisted the ring nervously around my finger.
"Hey, what we've found here, it's not going to leave us. This is you and me. It has nothing to do with Aspen. It's us. I promise." He gave me an encouraging smile.
"But, you have so much history back there. I hate running into it at every turn," I mumbled.
"Back to this, then?" He removed his hand from my thigh and my whole body instantly felt the loss. My heart sped up because this felt like a break. His small movement away from me in exasperation felt like a signal of our future, that at any sign of trouble, he would throw up his walls again.
"You still see… some of those people." I chose my words as wisely as possible.
"But I married you." He grit his teeth in anger. "I’m not doing this here. This is such a non-issue, I don't know why you keep bringing it up. I thought I’d proven to you that you were it for me. I put a fucking ring on your finger. You're mine and I’m yours. I told you no one else matters before you." He glared at me. The anger burned in my stomach and I steeled my jaw.
"Whatever, Carter." I stood and started walking back to the parking lot.
Carter's long strides followed a few steps behind me until we reached the car. I stood at my door and crossed my arms waiting for him to unlock the doors.
"Are you not talking to me then?"
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye but kept my mouth shut.
"Eva, fuck. Grow up. When things get tough you always walk away, but I’m your husband, there's no more walking away." He grabbed my elbow and spun me to face him. I let him hold my arm and continued to glare at him. The memories of all of our fights over the last weeks flashed through my mind like a highlight reel. A burst of anger shot through my body.
"Let me go, Carter." I wrenched my arm from his grip.
"Don't make a scene." He warned me.
"Then open the fucking door." I held his gaze. He unlocked my door and held it open for me to get in. I huffed down in the seat and crossed my arms again, staring straight out the windshield.
Carter strode around the other side of the car and got behind the wheel. He turned the key and the car flared to life. He threw it in reverse and peeled out of the parking lot. I rolled my eyes. We drove in silence a few miles and out of the corner of my eye I could see his fists tightening around the steering wheel, white-knuckled.