I walk, dejected, to the elevators. The day was perfect, one of the best I’ve ever had in my life. My belief in Daisy and me, in the kind of relationship we could have, was solidified today. We would be so beautiful together, I knew it. And I thought she knew it too. I felt that in her kiss. So why in the hell did she run away from me again?
The elevator doors open, and Lennon steps out. He looks surprised, then his expression quickly turns to concern. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head, having no idea how to even begin answering that question.
“Where’s Daisy?”
“I’m assuming she’s in her room.”
“Let’s get a drink.”
I know he can tell something’s wrong. Lennon’s always been good at that kind of thing, and I’m shitty at hiding my feelings. I follow him to the hotel bar, ignoring the stares of the patrons who recognize us, their eyes following us all the way to the bar. Lennon orders two shots of whiskey, and I’m relieved when the bartender doesn’t ask for his ID—I’m sure we’re getting the rock star treatment. Lennon is of age, but I’m not. Drinks in hand, we find a table in a quiet corner.
“What happened?” he asks, sliding one of the shots over to me. “I thought the two of you were supposed to be spending the day together.”
“We were. And it was… it was great. But then I did something that freaked her out, and she took off.”
“What’d you do?”
I sigh, not really wanting this to be public knowledge.
“Did you tell her how you feel?”
I look into my older brother’s face.
He smiles a little. “I know, Daltrey. It’s pretty obvious.”
I grab my shot glass and down the liquor in one gulp. “Yeah, I told her. She looked a little freaked, but then she kissed me, so I thought…” I feel a horrible ache in my chest, thinking of that moment when she had kissed me back, when I thought maybe, just maybe, she felt the same way I did. That hope is gone, leaving behind an emptiness that physically hurts.
“So she kissed you then freaked out?”
“Pretty much.”
“Something’s going on with her, Daltrey,” Lennon says. “I’m sure of it. She’s different than she used to be. I could tell the minute I saw her. Besides, her disappearing last year is not like her.”
“All she would tell me is that she had a hard time with kids at school and ended up in therapy. But tonight… she had a panic attack, Len. Just ’cause we kissed. It was… it scared the hell out of me.”
“There’s got to be more to it,” he says, idly running a finger along the rim of his glass.
“Well, if there’s more to it, she’s not talking.”
He looks up at me, his gaze sharp. “And you’re just going to be okay with that?”
“Of course I’m not, but I can’t force her to talk if she doesn’t want to.”
“No, you can’t force her. But you can sure as hell try.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Daltrey, after she stopped returning your calls last year, what’d you do about it?”
I wish I hadn’t drunk my whiskey so fast. “I didn’t do jack about it.”
“And haven’t you felt like shit about that ever since?” he asks. “Haven’t you spent the last year wondering what you could have differently?”
“Yeah, Lennon, I have. Thanks for bringing that up.”
“I’m just saying, little brother, that it looks to me like you’re repeating history right now. Something freaked her out, she took off, and you let her go. That’s what it really comes down to, you know? You letting her go.”
“What am I supposed to do?” I’m getting pissed now. Is it too much to ask that he just be supportive? Couldn’t he just get me drunk and be done with it?
“Hey, look at me. This is important,” he says, his voice low and serious. “You’re supposed to fight for her, Daltrey.”
He’s right, totally, completely right. How many times over the past year have I wished I could do things differently, go back and convince her to give me another chance? Didn’t I promise myself I would never again let her go without a fight?
“I have to go,” I say, standing. “I have to go talk to her.”
He nods once. “Good luck, man.”
The elevator takes forever, and repeatedly pressing the button does nothing to hurry it. When the doors open, what seems like a dozen people file out, every one shuffling at a painfully slow pace. It’s all I can do to not scream at them to hurry the hell up.
I know it only takes a minute or so for the elevator to take me to Daisy’s floor, but it’s still an eternity. When the doors finally slide open, I’m facing Paige.